being and building the village you want to see
because we weren't meant to raise our kids alone
#WednesdayWisdom
“"If we give our children sound self-love, they will be able to deal with whatever life puts before them." ~ bell hooks
Morning Musings
You ever have one of those moments where you catch yourself and realize you’re living out one (or more) of your prayers? That was me this past weekend. As some of you who’ve been here for a minute may recall, last summer I broke down the anatomy of the “perfect weekend.”
What I realized is that those weekends I cherished so much were spent in my own backyard with loved ones. I’d come to call them very “Evanstonian weekends,” complete with impromptu pizza parties with our neighbors; visits to the farmer’s market; and trips to the beach. They were perfect, in large part, because of their simplicity.
This past weekend was one of those weekends. On Friday, Jeff and I met for a rare coworking afternoon at Soul Good Coffee. Afterward, we picked up Violet from daycare and walked to the Summer Kickoff Block Party, where she was photographed for the local paper eating pizza and wearing her purple FeMINIst shirt. We were joined by our friends and their kids. Our daughters, who are around the same age, literally danced the night away and they even got to pet a puppy!
On Saturday morning, V had her first soccer class. Well, class is a strong word seeing as how it’s full of toddlers, but she had a ball (literally!). Her BFF was there, as well as a couple of kids from her daycare and it was so fun watching them interact (and attempt to make goals). We did basketball in the spring and Violet kept kicking the ball, so we figured soccer was more her speed. Later that day, we joined other friends at a low-key cookout and once again V had a great time with yet another playmate.
Sunday morning was swim, followed by brunch at one of our favorite restaurants and then an impromptu beach meetup with more friends. As I looked around at our beautiful Black families, I couldn’t help but smile. I used to pray for times like this (Meek Mill voice) and now my dreams are a reality.
I’ve found my people. I’ve found my tribe. We’ve found our way in this community and we’ve built the village that we’ve always wanted—brick by brick, day by day. On Monday morning, one of the moms in our group chat sent the following Reel:
And I couldn’t have said it better myself. I read a Romper article recently that said the secret to an actual vacation with kids is to go with another family. I haven’t tested this theory yet, but I’m certainly excited to try. Whether it’s the spontaneous playground dates or ice cream meetups, parenting is SO much better when you’re doing it with other likeminded individuals. It takes time and trust, yes, but the investment is so worth it—not only for us, but our children as well.
We live in a community where you could very easily be the only Black family depending on where you go, but when we show up together—13 people deep—we’re a force that can’t be ignored. We’re creating the change we want to see and I know for a fact that my life is all the better for it.
Upcoming Events
June 12 (TONIGHT!): I’ll be in conversation with NYT bestselling author Nicola Yoon at the Barnes & Noble in Oak Brook chatting about her new book, One of Our Kind. (Note: the event starts at 6pm CT!)
June 19: Juneteenth Yoga Flow. This special Juneteenth-inspired flow is designed to honor the rich history and resilience of the Black community, fostering a sense of unity, healing, and empowerment. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Free Root Operation, a non-profit organization dedicated to combating poverty-induced gun violence in Chicago. Suggested donation is $15, but any amount is appreciated. Let’s come together to honor this important day with intention and support a meaningful cause.
June 20: I’ll be in conversation with author and friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson about her debut book, Fighting for Our Friendships. Join us at Call and Response in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood.
What I’m Reading
Black Women Are Leaving Journalism & It’s A Huge Loss (Refinery 29)
A Moving-Image History of Parkwood Entertainment (Sydney Urbanek x Mononym Mythology)
Lionel Boyce Is The Bear’s Secret Sauce (Vulture)
My Latest Obsession
Victoria Monét is singlehandedly bringing back the art of the music video and I, for one, am here for it!
Now Hiring
Staff Writer for Romper
Publishing Assistant for Random House Children’s Books
Digital Editor for Yoga Journal
Social Content Coordinator for Hello Sunshine
Content Creator for Unitarian Universalist Service Committee
Legal/Justice Reporter for HuffPost
Brand PR & Communications Manager for WNDR Museum
Senior Content Editor, The Midwest Newsroom for Iowa Public Radio
Summer Colors Are In!
Have you checked out the latest Stop Waiting for Perfect merch? New colors and youth sizes are now available!
Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly, Jessica and Ean for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜
Your family is so cute.
I agree with your comment about Victoria Monet, only those of us who grew up watching TRL , 106 & Park, and Making the Video understand that the art of music videos has been lost.