Maybe I *am* one of your little friends?
What role does friendship play in a mother-daughter relationship?
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If you’re a Black person, especially a Black daughter, there’s a good chance you’ve heard some iteration of “I’m not one of your little friends” from your mother when you were growing up. It’s one of the quintessential Black mom phrases. Right up there with, “do you have McDonald’s money?;” “There’s food at home;” and, lest we forget, “Keep crying and I’mma give you something to cry about.” Ah, the good ol’ days (please note my sarcasm here).
“I’m not one of your little friends” is a phrase that was on repeat in my household, particularly during those trying teenage years when I would sometimes catch an attitude (okay, oftentimes, but hey…that’s part of the job of being a teenager. Sorry, Mom!). Anyway, I was mostly on the receiving end of this catchphrase whenever I took a certain tone with my mother, who would be quick to remind me who I was talking to (spoiler: not one of my little friends).
The phrase has stuck with me as I also saw it as this differentiation between me and my mother—a hierarchy, if you will. Certainly, there is a respect we’re told to give our parents (after all, it’s one of the Ten Commandments and, having been in Catholic school my entire academic career, this was pretty much ingrained in me at a young age). But there was also something else: equal parts threat and promise.
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