#RepresentationMatters ✊
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#WednesdayWisdom
"Letting go: is an energy cleanse." —Lalah Delia
Morning Musings
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a Black woman. If you’re familiar with my story, then you know I wasn’t always the proud, confident Black woman you see today.
In fact, I didn’t learn to truly love the skin I’m in until roughly six years ago -- it’s been a lifelong journey. One that I’ve reflected on at length here, and also last week at my organization’s #BlackGirlMagic breakfast.
While preparing to co-lead the breakfast that morning during our all-staff retreat, I paused to admire this full-circle moment. For a nerdy Black girl from Belcamp, Maryland to be organizing and hosting a #BlackGirlMagic breakfast was a surreal experience. But there I was, in a room full of 40+ brilliant and beautiful Black Queens, including our very own CEO and Chief of Staff. It was dope af.
We shared stories. We laughed. We cried. We stood in our shine, literally. We invited attendees to stand in the middle of the circle and share moments and accomplishments they were proud of. It was powerful. Taking up space -- literally and figuratively -- as Black woman in a world that is constantly trying to make us smaller is an act of resistance.
The experience was especially profound as I spent the majority of time at my previous organization being the only Black woman in the room. Having been the first family to move on to our block and being one of two Black girls at my conservative all-girls Catholic high school, I was used to standing out. Or, as my mom puts it, “being the only chocolate chip in the cookie.”
I was tasked with writing the Kwanzaa story at my first full-time reporter job despite never having celebrated the holiday a day in my life. But I was the only Black girl so ipso facto, the responsibility fell to me. I also received my fair share of handwritten hate mail because I dared to talk about what the historic election of Barack Obama meant to me as a Black woman.
This was my norm. So when I got to Chicago and worked for one of the most iconic Black publications surrounded by nothing but #BlackGirlMagic, I experienced an awakening.
But the fire started to flicker once I’d arrived in the nonprofit space. I remember the first fundraiser I was helping with -- my team had gone back and forth with a young Black girl regarding her speech. They'd asked her to tone parts of it down...now, mind you, they had most likely chosen her to speak because diversity. As the token Black girl in my college’s campus brochure, I was quite familiar with that burden as well, but I wasn’t nearly as woke as this student to realize it as it was happening.
Moments before she was expected to go on stage, she sought me out and told me, “I don’t want to do this.” My heart broke for her, because I knew exactly where she was coming from. Her words had been censored and edited to the point where she didn’t recognize herself in her own writing. “What would you do?,” she asked me.
“Give the speech. They need to see you, they need to hear you,” I told her. “But stay true to yourself and your values. Know that sometimes you have to ‘play by the rules’ to be invited to the table, but once you get there, tear it down.”
She gave me a hug and I fought back tears. When we had our debriefing afterward, one of the senior leaders -- a white woman -- remarked that the speech had been “too much.” It’d made the people sitting at her table uncomfortable. I was silently seething and I started recalling all the times I'd been told I was "too much" and "tone it down."
The lack of diversity at my previous organization is a big part of what drew me to OneGoal. Our commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion is front and center. People of color make up the majority of staff. Now, we don't always get it right -- no one organization can be expected to. We're human beings with flaws. But looking at our leadership and seeing myself reflected back is huge. And standing at a breakfast with my sisters and reveling in our collective and individual power is huge.
#RepresentationMatters is more than a hashtag, it's a way of life. #RepresentationMatters in schools, in media, in neighborhoods, in companies and organizations, in everything we do. To convince yourself otherwise is simply foolish.
Love,
L'Oreal
Links I Love
Why young Black girls don't get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to anxiety. Twerking with Lizzo as an act of political defiance. Love a good dinner party? So do millennials, we just don't call it that. Dolly Parton may look artificial, but she's totally real. Astrology in the age of uncertainty.
My Latest Obsession
Last weekend, husbae and I took a quick trip to Milwaukee for the Jidenna concert. He'd played Chicago Friday night, but we were busy cheering on the Buckeyes to a big win over Northwestern (sorry, Wildcats).
Admittedly, my knowledge of Jidenna's music did not extend beyond his 2015 breakout hit "Classic Man." But, like any good student, I studied his discography leading up to the concert so I was at least somewhat familiar with his music before the show.
I'd grown a bit irritable after listening to a subpar local opening act, but quickly got into it once Jidenna took the stage. I can't sing every song word for word, but the vibe was the perfect combination of low-key chill. And now I've had "85 to Africa" and "Bambi" stuck in my head ever since. If you're not already a fan, I suggest checking out his latest album ASAP.
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