no tears left to cry 😭

Nov 13, 2019

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#WednesdayWisdom

"Have the courage to say what you need in the moment. Most people aren’t mind readers. Two things will happen: You’ll either get what you need or realize that the source you are asking doesn’t have the capacity to deliver. Both are gifts." — Jada Pinkett Smith

Morning Musings

Two weeks ago, I was feeling especially emotional on my birthday. I could feel the tears bubbling up, and then burning the back of my throat. But they never fell. There’s nothing particularly significant about turning 32 (as opposed to let’s say, 30), so I don’t know why I was on the brink of tears nearly the whole day.

But a coworker -- a fellow Scorpio -- shared that she always cries on her birthday. And so did another Scorpio I follow on Twitter. Was this a universal phenomenon, or one that was relegated to my Scorpio brethren?

Spoiler: I didn’t cry on my birthday, but I did cry four times last week. First, during my second viewing of Hamilton. “Satisfied” brings me to tears nearly every time I listen to it because there’s a lyric that succinctly describes the relationship I have with my own sister: “I love my sister like I love my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind…” It gets me every. Single. Time.

Then, due to personal and family health matters, I ended up crying three more times that week -- twice in the same day during a particularly harrowing episode of RHOA (don’t judge) where NeNe has a breakdown because SAME.

And you know what? I felt MUCH better afterward. Crying is cleansing and cathartic and we should do so without apology. I remember one time I was riding the red line and there was a young woman sitting across from me crying on the phone.

From what I gathered, she had just moved to Chicago and was having a hard time adjusting to a new city and making friends. I empathized and handed her the packet of pocket tissues I’d been carrying in my purse. She thanked me and apologized for crying. I shook my head and said, “It’s okay. We’ve all been there.”

Two years ago, I spent a large part of my 30th birthday crying in a hotel room in Santa Fe. I thought it would be a grand idea to celebrate the start of this new decade by myself in a desert and well, let’s just say that first night wasn’t very grand. I immediately regretted being so far from family and friends on my special day.

But there was also something deeply spiritual about crying my eyes out. It’s almost like it was shedding skin and making way for a new me -- a more confident and resilient me -- to rise from the ashes. And so I would encourage you -- the next time you feel compelled to cry, make like Elsa and let that shit go. You’ll feel better, I promise.

Love,
L'Oreal

Happenings

Nov. 17: Gratitude Night with Girl Forward. Enjoy art, food and community at this free event.

Nov. 20: Take the Lead. Learn about people and team management at this new leadership development series. Use the code PAL5 for $5 off.

Links I Love

1. Lena Waith interviews Robyn Crawford. When the news broke about Robyn Crawford's memoir, A Song for You: My Life With Whitney Houston, I was hoping -- praying -- that a queer Black woman who interview her. Someone who could give Robyn's story the care, love and nuance it rightfully deserved. Lena did not disappoint.

2. What happened when Drake was booed off stage. I was super confused by the plethora of Drake tweets on my timeline this weekend, but this article by The Atlantic explained it all.

3. Rachel Cargle on why rest is the real revolution for Black women. That's it. That's the post.

#PreBlackFriday Classifieds Sale

Want to get your business and/or event in front of an engaged following of smart, ambitious millennial women? Take advantage of 10% off classifieds until Nov. 30. Learn more here.

My Latest Obsession

Toward the end of last year, I discovered the joy of PopSockets. We'd ordered some branded ones for work and I was "testing" it out. My selfie game was strong (because angles) and one-handed texting while holding on for dear life on a crowded train was a breeze.

Then came phone wallets and I was torn. To hold important cards for easy access, or keep up my #flawless selfies? Ease of access won over for a good while, but I recently discovered the wonderful brilliance of PopWallet+ and now I can do BOTH! Game. Changer.

Now Hiring

Executive Director of External Affairs Baltimore for Higher Achievement
Director of Influencer Marketing for IPSY
Communications Director for Giffords: Courage to Fight Gun Violence
Director of Development for Chicago Literacy Alliance
Manager of People & Operations for Ezza Nails
Manager for the Jack Jones Literary Arts Speakers Bureau
Chief of Staff for Uber
Senior Manager, Celebrity Engagement for Share Our Strength

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