Kobe & Gianna 💜💛

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#WednesdayWisdom

"And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed." — Maya Angelou

Morning Musings

This past Saturday, I woke up with my heart and mind on Kobe and Gianna Bryant -- again.

It was almost like a whisper, this recurring thought that's been floating around my head every now then for the past month, usually when I'm getting ready for bed, or early in the morning. You know, the still of the night.

"Kobe Bryant isn't here," the voice in my head reminded me.

ESPN senior writer Ramona Shelbourne put it best in her story featuring some of the people closest to Kobe Bryant:

"Kobe Bryant is dead.

It's as unbelievable to read now as it was when the news broke on Jan. 26. The headline was like a cognitive break. So awful. This couldn't be reality. And then it got worse when authorities revealed that Bryant's 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, two of her teammates, their parents, a coach and a pilot also died in the crash.

There was no way to process a tragedy such as this, much less find perspective on a man such as Kobe Bryant."

Now I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm a big Kobe fan. The first time I'd heard of Kobe was when he took Brandy to prom, because I was obsessed with Brandy at the time and kept up to date on everything related to her (as best as one could in the '90s...thank you, Right On! magazine).

If we're being honest, I'm not much of a basketball fan at all. But I'd be lying if I said the news of Kobe's sudden and tragic passing (and that of the other passengers on the helicopter) didn't rock me. 

Jeff and I had just returned home from a post-church brunch when I was scrolling through Instagram in bathroom (as one does) when I saw a former intern had posted a screenshot of the TMZ article ... I scrolled faster, as if somehow that would make it untrue, and initially disregarded the post as #FakeNews. But something in my core told me otherwise.

Like every good journalist, I waited with bated breath until a reliable, credible news source confirmed everyone's worst fear. And then I saw the New York Times article. Damn. Another one gone too soon.

I immediately flashed back to last year when L.A. rapper Nipsey Hussle was slain, also on a Sunday afternoon. My mind went to his partner, Lauren London. Just as my thoughts and prayers immediately went to Vanessa Bryant and their girls.

I took a shower, washed my hair, and when I got back online to read the latest news, I learned of Gianna. It broke me. I'd just seen the clip of the two of them laughing courtside at a recent game and the memes about Kobe mansplaining the sport to his 13-year-old daughter, a basketball star in her own right.

This wasn't right. This wasn't fair. This didn't make sense ... and it still doesn't, a month later. And, quite frankly, it never will.

At the same time, I couldn't help but notice a glaring omission from many of the tributes and obituaries -- that in July 2003, Bryant was accused of rape. My mind went to the survivor and how she must feel watching him be canonized at the speed of light.

I felt conflicted. As a Black feminist writer, who's also a Christian, and also a wife, I felt my worlds colliding.

In the days that followed, fellow feminist writer Evette Dionne wrote the following for TIME and it captured my sentiments exactly:

"When we’re wedded to specific narratives of how feminists should act, it can be all too easy to disregard humanity. But feminism, at least the tradition I follow, makes space for redemption too. Only Bryant’s accuser can decide if she forgives him, and it’s not our place to do that work publicly on her behalf. What we can do is complicate these conversations so we can usher in more honesty about who’s elevated in the aftermath of a sexual assault and how fame and money insulate perpetrators from being brought to account. We can do this while still acknowledging that Bryant didn’t deserve to die in such a manner at such an age and that the people who loved him are grieving."

That fateful Sunday, my sister and I both remarked -- prayed, really -- that Vanessa Bryant was a woman of faith, because how else do you find the strength to go on otherwise? I only caught a snippet of her remarks from the public memorial at the Staples Center, but I read them in full and wow, just ... wow.

The verse of the day on my Bible app last Saturday was Psalms 90:12, "Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom." I'm not trying to be morbid and advise that you live every day as if it's your last, but someday, it will be. 

Later that morning, I read a chapter in Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life (I'm reading it for Lent, if you'd like to join me), and there was a part that read: "Every act of our lives strikes some chord that will vibrate in eternity."

What chords are you striking?

Love,
L'Oreal

ICYMI

When it rains, it pours and, as such, I have two new podcast interviews to share with y'all. First is my chat with Emily Kennedy of the The Empower podcast. We talked about the importance of saying "no" and how to ensure your work is aligned with your personal mission.

Next up is my chat with Lu'Cretia Thomas of the Girl Behind the Hustle podcast. We covered everything from rejection to building community and so much more. Want to meet both of us in person? Get your tickets for our in-person book club later this month (see below for deets).

Happenings

March 6: March Meditation & Lettering Workshop. My girl Vanessa Flowers is hosting the next event in her Flower Girls Meet series. Learn about different forms of meditation and more.

March 19: #TalkItOut: Beyond the Binary. For their annual #TalkItOut Speaker Series, Chicago Foundation for Women is exploring what it means to build an inclusive movement for gender equity.

March 20: Girl Behind the Hustle Book Club. Join me and Girl Behind the Hustle founder Lu'Cretia Thomas for an evening of mingling and meditation as we discuss Shonda Rhimes' bestseller, Year of Yes. Use the promo code ltinthecity for a discount.

March 31: Chicago Women's DiversiTeaTime. This twist on a traditional afternoon tea seeks to celebrate, honor and connect diverse women in Chicago. Use the code LTintheCity for 10% off your ticket.

Links I Love

1. Calls to Boycott the Black Woman-Owned Honey Pot Company Backfired Spectacularly. ICYMI, a group of white women are apparently upset that The Honey Pot founder Beatrice Dixon said she wanted to empower Black girls in her Target commercial. Yes, really. (Fast Company)

2. I Want to Speak for Myself, Not the Whole Latinx Community. My writer friend (in my head) Eva Recinos talks about the heavy burden facing underrepresented writers. (Electric Lit)

3. The Privilege of Rage. And in yet another case of Caucasity, Black writer Tangerine Jones shares the origins of #RageBaking. Spoiler: it's not the cookbook of the same name. #CiteBlackWomen (Medium)

Now Hiring

1. Digital Organizing Associate for Samara Collective

2. Manager of Media Strategy for The Opportunity Agenda

3. Program Coordinator for Girls Rock! Chicago

4. Senior Copywriter, Los Angeles for Squarespace

5. Product Marketing Manager for Whole Foods

6. Community Organizer for My Block, My Hood, My City

7. Producer for Vocalo

8. Communications Strategist for No Muslim Ban Ever

9. Deputy Digital Editor of Audience & Social for Crain's Chicago

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