not the Mother's Day I'd hoped for 💔

May 13, 2020

Spread the love, forward to a friend!

#WednesdayWisdom

"Once you decide to walk in the lane God specifically called out for you, the world has no choice but to stand aside and let you pass." — Lola Akinkuowo

Morning Musings

This past Sunday was hard. Much harder than I thought it would be.

Earlier this year, we started IVF -- months of injections, hormones, blood work and ultrasounds, in the midst of a global pandemic, no less. Late last month, we learned that our first cycle had failed. The pregnancy test had come
back negative.

We were heartbroken, of course. We'd "followed the rules." We'd adhered to the protocol. We did what we were told to do and yet ... it didn't work.

To be honest, I wasn't shocked. Sure, it wasn't the outcome we'd hoped for, the one we'd prayed for. But at no time during that formidable two-week wait did I ever feel pregnant, like all the fertility blogs would lead you to believe.

It's still possible, I'd try to convince myself, plenty of women don't know that they're pregnant during those first few weeks.

But in my heart of hearts, I knew.

I was grateful I'd taken the day off thanks to advice from a friend who'd also undergone IVF. "Either way, you'll want time to process the news," she'd warned me.

I cried. I prayed. I journaled. I ate the ice cream and the cupcakes that friends sent (thank you!). And the next day, I put myself back together. Because that's what I do. I convinced myself that I was okay ... and I was, until I wasn't.

On Saturday, I preemptively attended a Mother's Day virtual happy hour hosted by The Broken Brown Egg, an infertility support group for Black women. I was surrounded by women who get it with a cider in my hand. I left feeling pretty good.

And then there was Mother's Day. I'd planned to stay off social media for the day to avoid seeing the bumps and the babies, but I needed to log in for a quick project. That was a mistake.

If there's one thing I've learned through this, it's that you can't plan for grief. It has a way of sneaking up on you when you least suspect it. You cannot plan for grief, nor can you work your way through it. No, the only way through grief is ... well, through it. Sitting in it. Feeling it.

While our cycle may have failed, I know that I am not a failure. And while this may be a delay, it is not a denial. Our time will come, of that I'm sure.

Love,
L'Oreal

ICYMI

Being a leader is never easy. Being a leader during a global pandemic, however, requires a whole other level of empathy and emotional intelligence. What do you do when everyone is looking to you for answers and guidance? In my guest post for Women Unite, I talked to Emilie Aeries of Bossed Up to find out...

Virtual Happenings

May 20: I Can't: Side-Hustle. My girl Jessica Williams is hosting a webinar on all things starting a side-hustle. ($32)

May 27: Freelance Writing 101: How to Successfully Pitch Editors. I'm hosting a digital workshop to help new and aspiring freelance writers pitch editors and get paid for their writing. ($7)

Links I Love

1. More Natasha Rothwell, I Beg of You. Kelli (played brilliantly by Natasha Rothwell) is arguably my favorite character on Insecure. I also have a fantasy of her playing the lead opposite of William Jackson Harper (aka Chidi from The Good Place) in Jasmine Guillory's The Wedding Party. How can we make that happen? (The Cut)

2. The Woman Who Finds Peace in Productivity. She is me. I am her. (ZORA)

3. Sandra Oh Is in a League of Her Own. You're damn right she is. (ELLE Canada)

My Latest Obsession

Yea, I'm still listening to #SavageRemix on repeat ... and wearing my new favorite T-shit from Chic Shirt Shop while I do.

Now Hiring

Communications Associate for United We Dream
Assistant Editor for Friendshop!
Course Writer for Junto
Performance Marketing Manager - Content for Spotify
Creative Strategist, Creator for TikTok
Public Relations Manager, US Hispanic and Latin America for Amazon Music
Director of Communications for MADRE
Development and Communication Associate for 826CHI

Psst...did a friend forward you this newsletter? Subscribe here so you never miss an issue! Liked what you read? Be sure to follow using the buttons below.