Feeling All the Feels: Election Edition
first there was joy, then there was anxiety and now there's anger
Wednesday Wisdom
“If I fall, I’ll fall five feet four inches forward in the fight for freedom. I’m not backing off.”~ Fannie Lou Hamer
Morning Musings
This is not the letter I originally wrote. Nor is it the one I wish I were writing now. At the time of this writing, it is 3:36 a.m. CT and this country has elected That Man over a woman…again. Make it make sense.
I am sad.
I am anxious.
I’m angry.
And I’m beyond frustrated.
But one thing I’m not is shocked. I learned my lesson back in 2016. When someone shows you who they are, it’s in your best interest to take them seriously.
On Nov. 9, 2016, this country showed me how much they hate Black people (Barack) and how much they hate women (Hillary). How lucky am I to be both of those. 🙃
And on Nov. 6, 2024, this country showed me how much they hate Black women specifically.
To use an idiom made popular by Mr. Obama himself, let me be clear—even if Kamala had won—half of the country voted against what and who she represents. Half of this country voted against my rights and people who look like me. Half of this country voted against hope and healing. Half of this country voted against a new way forward.
My first thought when reality began to sink in: wow, this country really does hate Black women (even a light-skinned biracial one) that much. What hope, then, is there for me and my Black daughter, whose complexions are much darker and our curl pattern much tighter?
Last night, as we were preparing for bed, I asked Jeff a litany of questions:
How did we get here?
How are we supposed to endure the next four years?
What do we tell Violet?
Sure, she may only be three years old now, but in four years time she will be seven. And she’s a smart girl and very observant. She will ask questions. How do I explain? How do I make sense of the senseless?
I had a whole narrative in my mind about how I thought (and wanted) the day to play out. We took Violet to go voting with us, took a family selfie afterward and someday, when she was older, I’d get to tell her the story about how she was sitting in my lap and helped me cast my ballot when we voted for the first Black woman president. She would grow up—at least for the next four years—with a president who (sorta, kinda) looked like her. But more importantly, represented what she could also be.
And now that hope is gone…at least, for the moment. My stomach is in knots and I feel powerless. I feel the deep need and desire to do something, but I’m not quite sure what.
No pink-hat parade is going to make me feel better this time around. White feminism can kick rocks. If it ain’t intersectional, I don’t want it.
I need to take REAL action toward moving the needle and ensuring this NEVER happens again. Not during my lifetime and not during Violet’s either.
I owe it to her. I owe it to her friend, Isabella, who thanked her mom for voting for Kamala in a neighboring red state. I owe it to my ancestors. To the warriors, activists and artists who came before me and didn’t give up.
I owe it to myself. Because I may be down, but dammit I’m not out. I have a new resolve…and honestly, a lot of is probably due to the fact that now I’m a mom. Eight years ago, I was younger and naive.
Today, I’m fed up and I’ve run out of f*cks. I can’t give up. I won’t give up. It’s time to take action. It’s time to mobilize. It’s time to fight. ✊🏾
Upcoming Events
Nov. 7: Yoga for Fertility for Women of Color. Fertility can already feel like an isolating experience, but for women of color, the journey can sometimes feel even more lonely. Which is why I’m excited to be leading a special six-week Yoga for Fertility series specifically for women of color.
Nov. 15: Special Topics in Being a Parent. I’ll be in conversation with columnist and author S. Bear Bergman at Pilsen Community Books in celebration of his new illustrated guide chock full of practical parenting advice.
What I’m Reading
Our Union Does Not Become More Perfect Without Women (The 19th)
Anxiety, Joy and Then Quiet at Harris’ Election Night Party (The 19th)
31 Non–self-destructive Ideas to Deal with Stress and Anxious Feelings ( )
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As my friend Keila so eloquently put it this morning, "First we rest, then we fight."
Sending you big hugs and lots of love, sis.
You have expressed my precise feelings. Thank you! Definitely not duped this time, but still so pissed to keep having racist, misogynists in power and gaining.