Learning to let go of FOMO 😭

Jul 25, 2018

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#WednesdayWisdom

"give in. to your uniqueness. the very thing you’ve been fighting not to be your whole life. is the very thing that is your genius." — nayyirah waheed

Morning Musings

Last week, I was feeling a little frazzled and overwhelmed coming off the heels of my . Because I was hosting my friend who'd flown in to support me (hey, Sierra!), I neglected my usual Sunday routine: church, grocery shopping, meal prep, maybe a face mask and a meditation or two.

As a result, I was feeling a bit off my game. During my weekly check-in with my coworker last Wednesday, I was running down my to-do list and she asked me point-blank, "What can you eliminate?"

Out of reflex, my mouth immediately started to form the word, "Nothing." But I paused for a beat, seriously considered her question and responded, "Well, I guess I don't have to go to People's Supper," the interfaith dinner our colleagues were hosting that night.

I'd gone to the and had such a great time, I was really looking forward to this one. But the truth is I could probably better use the three hours that night to a) decompress from the party; b) tackle the four loads of laundry awaiting me at home; or c) maybe start packing, seeing as how we're moving THIS SATURDAY.

When I returned to my laptop later that day, I saw a Gchat message from one of the facilitators asking if I would like to co-facilitate that night.

Normally, I would say "yes" being both the people-pleaser and social butterfly that I am. But I took a deep breath and politely declined. And felt an immediate wave of relief wash over me afterward.

My FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) was starting to get the best of me yet again. But I kindly reminded myself there would be more opportunities to connect with my colleagues and by not jumping at the opportunity to co-lead, hopefully I was creating space for someone else to step up to the plate and shine.

I used to tease my college roommate for having FOMO (sorry, Irene), but I've come to realize it's got a strong hold on me, too. How many times have I signed up for an event because of FOMO? Gone to a party I didn't really want to go to because of FOMO?

The older I get, the more I'm learning to be stingy with my time. It's not a renewable resource. And it's more than okay to take time for yourself; it's necessary.

As I prepared to leave for work that day, I thanked my teammate for basically telling me to "sit down and be humble." Her response?

"I hope you're thanking yourself as much as you're thanking me."

Love,
L'Oreal

ICYMI

If you subscribe to Shine Text, then you already know that my latest piece was featured in Monday morning's message. This time around I'm talking about my favorite topic, you guessed it, impostor syndrome. It's been the subject of my last two talks and hopefully someday it'll be featured at a bookstore near you. Until then, enjoy this essay!

Psst ... I was recently asked by Step Up magazine to share advice with college students! Oh, if I only I knew then what I know now ...

IRL

One of my goals this year was to speak at a conference and I'm happy to share that I'll be speaking at TWO this fall:

Sept. 13, Chicago: FWD Collective Summit

Oct. 21, Chicago: Speak Truth Summit

Links I Love

My Latest Obsession

I've been following Morgan Jerkins on Twitter for some time now. So when I learned that her debut book was dropping earlier this year, I pre-ordered ASAP.

Unfortunately, the way my library holds are set up, I'm just now getting around to reading This Will Be My Undoing. And I'm basically convinced we're the same person from the opening chapter about wanting to be a white cheerleader when we were younger to being the late-bloomer when it came to dating.

For anyone looking to further explore what it means to be an intersectional Black feminist, this book is required reading.

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