Am I too ambitious (or not enough)? 😫

Aug 15, 2018

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#WednesdayWisdom

"Loving yourself isn’t always a beautiful process. It’s hard. It can break you open. It can wear you down. Self-love is birthed in the trenches of our darkest moments — that’s why the light feels so good when we finally find it." — alex elle

Morning Musings

During the #BlackGirlMagic meet-up at my job's annual all-staff retreat last week, I was able to ask a few of the most powerful Black women in our organization how they got to where they are.

Basically, what's the blueprint or roadmap to success as a badass Black woman who's also a wife and a mom? It's a trifecta I hadn't seen firsthand since I entered the workforce 10 years ago ... unless you count Michelle Obama (whom, regrettably, I don't know personally).

Our chief program officer, whom I have a major #GirlCrush on, shared three things:

1) Get a sponsor. Now, for those of you paying attention at home, a mentor is different from a sponsor. A mentor is basically your Yoda, someone sharing wise words and counsel along your journey. A sponsor, however, advocates on your behalf when you're not in the room ... most likely someone in a senior position to you at your company or a company where you'd like to work. Basically, someone of influence. Know the difference.

2) Leave your ego at the door. Climbing the corporate ladder is not about stepping on people in the process. And particularly in the work that we do as a nonprofit ... this work isn't about you, it's about the people we serve.

3) Be strategic. Position yourself to be in front of or next to the key decision maker and/or that person of influence. Fun fact: I was doing just that by attending this meet-up and getting to know these women.

But then I felt a pang of guilt because a few newlywed coworkers had opted out of the meet-up in favor of spending the evening with their husbands. Immediately I thought to myself: "I'm a bad wife."

And then I remembered when I skipped the at work because I was exhausted and felt another pang of guilt because I'd missed an opportunity to network with our CEO. Then I thought, "sh*t, I'm not being strategic enough!"

Which lead to an internal crisis of am I too ambitious ... or not ambitious enough? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to get to the top? And, if the answer is yes, then at what cost?

I literally laugh out loud when people ask how I manage to balance a full-time job with a side-hustle and a husband, among other boards and organizations I'm involved in. The simple answer is I don't. It's a juggling act and I'm constantly dropping at least one ball at any given time.

If I'm excelling at work, I'm probably not promoting my blog or this here newsletter as much as I should be. If I'm busy prepping for speaking engagements, I'm probably not prioritizing date night and so on.

The truth is I'm doing the best I can, like so many other women. Like so many of the women I admire. It's all we can do.

Love,
L'Oreal

IRL

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Links I Love

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