What does "having it all" mean to you? 💁

Dec 05, 2018

Spread the love, forward to a friend!

#WednesdayWisdom

"Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become …habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character." — Margaret Thatcher

Morning Musings

Whether women can "have it all" has been a topic of much discussion lately, thanks to Michelle Obama's recent comments about Sheryl Sandberg's working mom manifesto, Lean In.

“That whole ‘so you can have it all.’ Nope, not at the same time,” Obama said recently, according to The Cut. “That’s a lie. And it’s not always enough to lean in, because that shit doesn’t work all the time.”

Thank you, Michelle. Thank you.

I remember reading Lean In back in 2013 as part of my job's book club. I hung on to Sandberg's every word and took it for gospel, not realizing that my own experiences and circumstances as a Black woman were vastly different. I'd yet to become familiar with the premise of white privilege.

And so, I believed, if I just worked hard enough, leaned in close enough, that I too could "have it all."

But what I've learned from more senior women I've had the pleasure of working with is that yes, you can have it all, but not necessarily at the same time.

It's something I think about every time a well meaning person asks me "how do you do it all?" As in, how do you manage a full-time job, several side-hustles all while being a wife/daughter/sister/friend/lifetime member of the BeyHive?

I understand the idea of the question. We all seem to be looking for answers -- some hope perhaps that having it all isn't a myth. But, newsflash, there are no secrets.

On the outside, I'm aware that it certainly looks like I have it all: successful career, handsome husband, two-bed condo in Chicago, a blossoming brand, etc. But here's the truth: if I'm crushing it in one area of life, there's something (or someone) I'm probably neglecting.

As I type this, I have a flight to catch for my team retreat in Atlanta in a few hours. Our kitchen is a mess (sorry, Saya). I still have laundry in the dryer. I barely made a deadline for a freelance story and I STILL haven't packed yet.

Meanwhile, said husband is across the sofa on his laptop while I type away diligently on mine because I didn't get around to writing this week's newsletter over the weekend, so this definitely doesn't count as quality time. Date night? What's that?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: at any given time, I feel like I'm juggling seven different balls. But every time I drop one (because Lord knows I drop them!), I pick it right back up and try again. Because life.

Having it all looks different for everyone. For me, it's a happy, healthy marriage and a fulfilling career that pays me well enough to afford my lifestyle, provide for my family, and donate to causes I care about.

What does having it all look like to you? Hit "reply" and let me know.

Love,
L'Oreal

IRL

Jan. 9: I Can't: Land My Dream Job

Jan. 30: EvolveHer Future Launch Event & Fundraiser

Links I Love

My Latest Obsession

While I'm a big fan of musicals (okay, pop culture musicals with catchy soundtracks a la Wicked, Hairspray and Hamilton), I can count the number of plays I've see on one hand. So when I was invited to see Familiar, written by Black Panther star Danai Gurira, at Chicago's Steppenwolf Theatre, I responded with an enthusiastic yes!

The story, about a Zimbabwean-American family preparing for their oldest daughter's wedding, was legit laugh-out-loud funny. But even more riveting was that I saw my own family's dynamic played out on stage, reminding me that sister-sister and mother-daughter relationships are universal -- no matter what language you speak.

No wonder Gurira describes the comedy as a "celebration at its core." Familiar is playing at Steppenwolf through Jan. 13.

Now Hiring

Managing Editor for Bitch Media
Program Officer, Post 9/11 Veterans and Their Families for the Schultz Family Foundation
Leadership Development Coordinator for National Network of Abortion Funds
Associate Editor for the American Library Association
Copy Editor for Mother Jones
Deputy Digital Editor for Food & Wine
Media & Communications Manager for Illinois Housing Development Authority
Vice President, People Experience for Edelman
Engineering Manager for the Obama Foundation
Executive Director for Barrel of Monkeys

Support LT in the City Weekly

Do you like what you see here? Here's how you can help!

1. Share the love. Like what you see here? Shout if from your (digital) rooftop and tell your friends!

2. Hire me. I'm available for all of your editorial, public speaking and career coaching needs.

3. Advertise. Have a personal project or side-hustle you've been dying to share with the world? Here's your chance to get in front of more than 8,000 smart, ambitious and engaged millennial women!

Perhaps you're looking to promote your #SideHustle or small business? Whatever the case, you can do so here and reach more than 8,000 smart, ambitious and engaged millennial women. Learn more about LT in the City Classifieds here.

Well, that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed this edition of LT in the City Weekly! Be sure to follow me on the Interwebs using the buttons below or simply click "reply" to tell me what you think. Thanks a bunches!