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#WednesdayWisdom

"Loving yourself pays enormous dividends." — Louise Hay

Morning Musings

At my best, I am an extremely passionate person. I give 110% to EVERYTHING I do. I love HARD. At my worst, well, I can be pretty jealous. I blame this on being a Scorpio, but it's a personality trait that likes to rear its ugly head every now and then and again.

Lately my jealous Scorpio tendencies have been having a grand ole' time with this book writing process. Now, to be clear, I am genuinely happy when I see other writers, especially Black women writers, land their agent, get their book deal and go on to become best-sellers! Thrilled, even. And you can bet I'm among the first to pre-order because as every aspiring author knows, pre-orders are terribly important for not only sales, but lists and projections, etc.

But I would be lying if I said that pride and "you go, girl!"-ing wasn't also met with a bit of "I want that, why not me?" (first person to accurately guess this reference/comedian wins ... nothing, just bragging rights). 

I felt a *little* better about this when a dope Black woman writer (who's also working on a book) confessed to this feeling at a recent leadership event I attended. Seeing this slightly older, highly intelligent woman speak her truth made me feel less ashamed.

Because, you know what, I'm human. And jealousy is a human emotion. She encouraged me to interrogate my jealousy, see where it's stemming from, why I feel that way, what I can do about it and last, but not least, share that vulnerability with my community, which brings me here to you.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I think there are two ideas at play here:

1) I'm not proud of this, but there is probably something in me that valued tokenism, being *the only* Black girl in a space. It made me feel special and worthy and, as a result, I've internalized the notion that there can only be one of us in a certain setting.

Now before y'all crucify me, I know this in my heart to be untrue, which leads me to my next point:

2) While I like to think I've adopted an abundance mindset, the reality is I'm often operating from a scarcity mindset. Even though I believe in abundance, there's still a small part of me that thinks sure, there's enough room for all of us ... but not for me. As if somehow all of the world's literary agents and publishers will disappear tomorrow and I'll never get the chance to write my book. I know, highly unlikely.

Y'all, I'm working on this. I'm praying on this. I'm unlearning this ... and change won't happen overnight. But I share all of this to say that if you're also dealing with some jealousy in your life, you're not alone ... and that doesn't make you a bad person. 

Love,
L'Oreal

ICYMI

This past Saturday, I completed my first indoor triathlon (thank you, Martrice, for the nudge to sign up!). And after our victory brunch, I took a well-deserved three-hour nap. Because in the words of The Nap Ministry founder Tricia Hersey, "rest is a form of resistance." Learn more ways to reclaim ownership of your time in my latest for Shine.

IRL

March 20 (TONIGHT!): Flower Girls Meet 

March 25: A Love Letter to Myself: A Chicago Variety Show

April 2: Ladies, Get Paid! (Y'all are showing up and showing OUT in these RSVPs. Learn the step-by-step strategy I used to increase my salary by $30,000 in my very first webinar. Did I mention it's FREE?) 

Links I Love (WHM Edition)*

1. Jasmine Guillory, author of The Proposal, On Why She Chose To Write About Black Heroines

2. How This Brand Strategist is Building a Girl Gang for Black Creatives

3. D'Cher Whitaker On Building a Brand for Ambitious Women

*Editor's Note: In honor of Women's History Month, I'll be sharing articles written by and/or about Black women.

My Latest Obsession

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but here in Chicago, winter is still hanging on for dear life. So in an attempt to protect my tresses from the stress of living in these cooler climates (and after a glowing review from my friend Jessica), I decided to give Grace Eleyae's satin-lined caps a try. 

Cute and comfy hats that protect my hair? Yes, please! I went a little overboard after testing the waters with the Heather Brown Warm Slap (pictured above), I went back for more (a turban, another hat and a headscarf, to be exact). Simply put, I'm addicted and now I want to share the love with you.

Use the promo code city25 to save 25% on your entire order. Your hair can thank me later.

Now Hiring

1. Director of Communications for UChicago, Urban

2. Director of Media Relations for Rush University Medical Center

3. Email Developer for The Obama Foundation

4. Video Fellow for Bustle

5. Journalist in Residence, Digital Media at USC

6. Marketing & Creative Interns for CRWN Mag

7. Assistant Editor at Chicago Magazine

8. Senior Marketing Manager for Meredith Corporation

9. Director of Teacher Support for OneGoal - Bay Area 

10. Experiential Creative Director for Pitchfork

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