"Dark-skinned, nappy-headed b*tch"
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#WednesdayWisdom
"Women who love themselves love other women." — Maryam Hasnaa
Morning Musings
Last Thursday was a tale of two catcalls. While boarding the train to work, a CTA employee told me to "have a nice day, beautiful." Harmless enough, I thought, in the grand scheme of things.
Then, once at work, I started reading an article about intersectionality and silencing women in preparation for my team's monthly Diversity, Equity & Inclusion meeting (an article that interestingly enough included no mention of Black feminist scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw, the woman who'd coined the term intersectionality in 1989).
I could feel my blood start to boil as each passing paragraph continued to not credit Crenshaw's work, a regular occurrence in "mainstream" feminism. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last.
I was livid and knew I needed to take a walk to get some fresh air lest I lash out on unsuspecting coworkers and become the resident "angry Black woman."
I grabbed my phone and headed out to the nearby farmers market. While there, I enjoyed the sunshine and overall hustle and bustle of downtown Chicago on a perfect summer day -- not too hot, not too humid. I got a delicious salted caramel peach pie from Justice of the Pies, a Black woman-owned pie shop, and continued about my merry way. Until this random guy sidled up to me. Here we go, I thought...
"Excuse me, miss..."
I quickened my pace, but he matched my stride, so I started to panic.
"Can I talk to you for a minute..."
I continued walking, turned my head slightly and said, "No, thank you, I'm not interested."
"You dark-skinned, nappy-headed bitch, I knew you were going to be like that."
At this point, I stopped walking and internally debated for a nanosecond whether I should respond because Black women are sometimes injured (or worse, killed) after rejecting unwanted advances. But, being my mother's daughter, I couldn't help myself and told him to [bleep] off.
He mumbled something else under his breath and I spun around, continuing my walk to the office. I was momentarily shaken -- wondering what could have been. Scolding myself because Auntie Michelle told us to go high when they go low, but I gave in...and for what? Not only that, but what if he had a weapon? Was "sticking up for myself" really worth it?
It pisses me off that this a reality and even everyday occurrence for women at large, but particularly Black women. I shouldn't have to decide between standing up for myself and my life. We really need to a better job of protecting Black women. We deserve better.
Love,
L'Oreal
Links I Love
An in-depth look into why impostor syndrome (my favorite topic) is worse for women of color. What happens when white women co-opt Black history (again!). Why Unbothered is more than an mood for Black women, it's a way of life. The seven types of fears that block us ... and how you can overcome them (as it turns out, I'm a procrastinator, gotta love that perfectionist streak).
#31Daysto1K
At the beginning of the month, I announced a contest to get to 1,000 subscribers by today, July 31. Well, fam, y'all did better than that and we ended the month at 1,230 subscribers. EEK! As promised, one lucky winner will receive:
✨ A 15-minute consultation with me
✨ A $25 Starbucks gift card AND
✨ A copy of my fave personal development books: You Are a Badass and You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero.
And the winner is ... Monica H. from Georgia! Congratulations, Monica, check your email for more info.
Thank you to everyone who shared the newsletter, your support means the world to me. But don't stop on my account, please continue to share far and wide!
My Latest Obsession
By the time you read this newsletter, I'll be living my best life in Cuba with my husband, Jeff. I had the genius idea back in February to surprise him with a trip to celebrate his 35th birthday (which is today, btw) and here we are! Wife of the Year Award obviously goes to me.
But in preparation for our trip, I knew I wanted to try Supergoop's Unseen Sunscreen to see what the hype was about. At $16 for 1.7 ounces, it's definitely a splurge, but what I like about it is that a) it feels good going on (who knew I'd look forward to putting on sunscreen every morning?) and b) it doubles as a primer. Two-in-one beauty/skincare product? Sign me up!
P.s. For more on Black people and sunscreen, check this out.
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