#AskLT: How do you balance it all? 💁
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#WednesdayWisdom
"The better you love yourself, the better others learn to love you. Show them, the way." — Lalah Delia
Morning Musings
By far one of the most popular questions I'm asked is: "how do you do it all?" In fact, I was asked that very question during three different speaking engagements last month. So I decided to answer it here as well...
First thing's first: I do too much. Anyone who knows me will tell you that much. In addition to a full-time day job, I have a side-hustle as a freelance writer and blogger...not to mention volunteer roles and being a doting wife, sister, daughter and friend. But I'm actively working on doing less, per last week's newsletter.
Second thing: I have help -- a lot of it. My husband is super supportive of my dreams/ambitions and we tend to evenly split domestic duties (okay, he cooks more, but it's because he actually enjoys it...and is better at it). We also have someone professionally clean our house every other month and I hired an editorial assistant/social media manager to help me with the blog earlier this year. So while I do a lot, I'm not doing it alone and I recognize that is a privilege (but delegating is hard, y'all).
Now for the juicy part, how I "balance" it all...Spoiler: there's no such thing as balance, it's more like a juggling act. Which is to say if I'm crushing it in one area of life, chances are something else is falling by the wayside.
I say all that to say this: extend yourself grace. Even the person you think has it "all together" is more than likely making it up as they go and course-correcting as needed, I know I am.
And I "do it all" by realizing I can't do everything. As much as it pains me, I have to be okay with giving 80% sometimes instead of 100% (but as my friend, mentor and big sis Kyra Kyles once told me, my 80% is often other people's 100%). I also have to remind myself that done is indeed better than perfect. And most importantly, you have to rest -- you simply cannot burn both ends of the candle and expect to be okay.
Moral of the story: I "do it all" by not doing it all. Our society places too much pressure on women to be all things to all people. That simply isn't possible, nor should it be desirable.
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Love,
L'Oreal
ICYMI
Last week, I had the incredible opportunity to interview Sophia Chang, the self-proclaimed first Asian woman of hip-hop, about her memoir, The Baddest Bitch in the Room.
I was nervous for a multitude of reasons: 1) The story was for an outlet I respect immensely; 2) It was a tight timeline (I got the assignment Monday, conducted the interview and submitted a 2,000-word article Friday); 3) I was petrified of saying the wrong thing (as a Black woman interviewing an Asian woman, but also as someone who's not a hip-hop head by any means).
There was a lot of impostor syndrome going on -- which is funny, because it's one of the many topics Sophia covers in her book. We had a great conversation and the article turned out well, if I do say so myself. Check out my latest for ZORA and read Sophia's many words of wisdom here.
Cool Opps
Oct. 10 (NYC): "First Draft" pitch workshop for freelance writers
Links I Love
Everybody poops (at work) -- including women. How to make plans so that you actually (gasp!) keep them. The type of burnout nobody talks about. Why the myth of period syncing won't go away. Why names (and how you pronounce them) matter.
My Latest Obsession
Typically, I rank romance novels according to the steamy sex scenes. But it took me until the end of Ayesha at Last to realize the main characters had barely kissed -- and I still loved it!
Billed as a modern day Muslim Pride and Prejudice, Uzma Jalaluddin's debut novel is smart and funny, while exploring real-life issues such as Islamophobia and universal themes like race and identity. I would happily take a sequel and/or big-screen adaptation.
Now Hiring
Manager, Marketing for Peer Health Exchange
Executive Assistant, Regional Operations for Teach for America
Senior Manager, External Communications for Ounce of Prevention
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