What your jealousy is trying to tell you...👀
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#WednesdayWisdom
"Allow yourself to rest and restore. You’re not missing anything." — Lalah Delia
Morning Musings
Scorpios often get a bad rep, but I feel like we're just misunderstood. We're passionate and loyal (sometimes to a fault). We also have tendencies to be secretive and jealous. I know I've talked about my jealousy issues here before...I'll be doing pretty well for a while and then BAM, just like that I've falling down the envy spiral once again.
During last week's therapy session, my therapist asked what I do when I feel myself getting jealous. The first thing, I said, was see what it's trying to teach me. Earlier this year, I wrote about the woman who told me "...it tells you when your boundaries have been violated."
I feel the same way about jealousy...it can often point us to our heart's desires, if we interrogate it. For example, after I attended a book reading featuring Luvvie Ajayi and Samantha Irby, I threw a one-woman pity party when I got home because I wanted what they had (but didn't think I was good enough). In fact, it's the event that served as the catalyst for my now-regular therapy sessions.
Before then, I didn't even realize that writing a book was something I desired. I mean, sure, it would be nice, but somehow seeing their success and recognizing that they were also bloggers before they got their book deals made it seem more attainable to me.
Last weekend, after visiting a college friend, her family and their beautiful suburban home, I felt a pang of envy. I, too, want a home big enough to host friends and family...to have our kids playing with the neighborhood kids in the backyard. It reconfirmed my notion that Chicago is not it for us...and there's life beyond the city.
I know we're not *supposed* to admit when we're jealous, it's not the socially-acceptable thing to do. But we're humans, we have emotions and our emotions are valid -- the good, the bad and the ugly. If we don't acknowledge them, and what they can teach us about ourselves, then we're doing ourselves a disservice.
My therapist suggested I combat my jealousy with gratitude. I confessed that I'd fallen off my regular practice of writing in my gratitude journal. I've tried apps, but the writer in me loves putting pen to paper -- it makes it feel more real.
And she challenged me to name five things off the top of my head I'm grateful for. Easy, I said:
Waking up that morning
Jeff
My family
My health
Being a writer
Remembering my many blessings gives me much needed perspective whenever I find myself comparing my life and success to others. Acknowledge your jealous, figure out what it's trying to teach you and then counteract it with gratitude. Your soul will thank you.
Love,
L'Oreal
IRL
Oct. 25: Women in Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Breakfast. I'm too excited to be speaking at this event with General Assembly and The Wing. It's sold out, but be sure to add your name to the waitlist!
Links I Love
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My Latest Obsession
I'm a sucker for all things astrology. Always have been -- the horoscopes were the first column I read in my teen magazines. As an adult, I've downloaded Co-Star and Pattern, use them religiously for a few weeks or so and eventually discard them. As Jay Z would say, on to the next one...
And while not an app, my latest obsession has been Spotify's Scorpio Today horoscope. Yes, Spotify. I've been listening for about a week now and I love how a) short they are (two minutes, tops) and b) how on point they've been around some tricky scenarios as of late. Check out your sign and let me know what you think!
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