Have the confidence of a mediocre white woman 💁

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#WednesdayWisdom

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." — Maya Angelou

Morning Musings

In late 2014, as I was negotiating a job offer, my then-manager and mentor Kyra Kyles advised me to “have the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant at the time — after all, the 2016 presidential election had yet happened. But in the years since then, it has become quite simply the best career advice I’ve ever received. 

Fast forward to 2019 and it’s clear to me that there’s a certain confidence mediocre white women possess as well. Take, for example, Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos fame.

And most recently, Abbey Aguirre, the Vogue contributor who not only failed to prepare for a cover interview with Rihanna, but admitted it to the star AND went on to write her confession into the story. A Black woman could never.

To be fair, Abbey isn't *entirely* to blame. The editors at Vogue, of which I’m sure there are several who touched this story before it saw the light of day, also deemed this admission fitting for PRINT!

Like, is no one concerned about the state of journalism? This is How to be a Reporter: 101, people. Do your research. Prepare your questions ... ahead of time. 

To put this in perspective, I spent HOURS reading articles, listening to podcast interviews and listening to Sophia Chang’s audiobook before I interviewed her for ZORA last month. I was prepared. 

Because a) that’s literally the job of every journalist everywhere, b) Sophia deserved my time and attention, and c) I, as a Black woman, can’t afford to be unprepared. 

Remember that scene in Scandal when Papa Pope warned Olivia that she’d have to work “twice as hard to get half as much”? That’s the life story of pretty much every Black woman out here.

Never mind the industry we're working in, we are constantly having to prove ourselves. Even when (especially when?) we’re at the top of our game because oftentimes even our best isn’t good enough (please see: Beyoncé x Grammys).

Now before anybody asks, “but isn’t she just an incompetent writer, why do you have to bring race into this?” like this one troll had the nerve to comment on my tweet regarding the issue, it’s because this is a prime example of what Black women are talking about when we say we’re held to a higher standard. 

And if we’re really going to “go there,” let us ponder why a Black woman wasn’t hired to do the story in the first place. I can think of several such writers off the top of my head whose work I love and who are knowledgeable about music, so I KNOW the editors at Vogue could have commissioned somebody. Surely, everyone wasn't booked, busy and blessed.

The day of the fallout, I thankfully had a therapy session and vented to my therapist. "It doesn't even have to do with me, but I'm still upset," I shared. 



She gently corrected me: "It has everything to do with you," she said. "This is your livelihood, your passion. You have every right to be upset."

And she's right. This particular case of Caucasity (that's Caucasian audacity for those who don't know) stung because it's personal. I know about a dozen Black women writers (myself included) who would jump at the chance to interview Rihanna and write a cover story for Vogue ... and we would do our due diligence as reporters and come prepared. Not just because the craft demands such thoroughness, but because Black girls don't get second chances. And Rihanna deserves better.

Love,
L'Oreal

IRL

Oct. 25: Women in Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Breakfast. I'll be giving a lightning talk about my experience as a Black woman working at nonprofits.

Links I Love

Why capitalizing the 'B' in Black is important when talking about race. An honest conversation about Black women and grills. Yes, book burnout is a thing. If you suffer from constant assaults on your ears like I do, read this. How to set boundaries around email. Roxane Gay on finding humor, protecting your energy and the unifying power of book clubs.

Cool Opps

Oct. 22: Launch Party for Curated Chicago (use the promo code VIP19 for complimentary admission!)

My Latest Obsession

After devouring Helen Hoang's debut novel, The Kiss Quotient, during one fateful weekend this summer (aka the inaugural reading retreat for my virtual book club with my homegirls Sierra and Heather), I knew I couldn't wait for the follow-up, The Bride Test. It's about a man who has autism (and is convinced he can't love anyone) who falls for a mixed-race girl from Ho Chi Minh City. It's a touching love story that is equal parts smart and romantic.

Similar to fellow modern romance writer Jasmine Guillory, Hoang's books take place in the same universe, but from a different character's perspective. I like how the characters are intertwined, but you don't *have* to read the previous book to know what's going on. But trust me, you're going to to want to read both ... I just hope we're lucky enough to get a third one.

Now Hiring

1. Program Communications and Outreach Associate for Girls Who Code

2. Director for West Wing Writers

3. Fashion & Beauty Writer for NYLON

4. Director of Public Engagement for Chicago Literacy Alliance

5. Social Media & Content Manager for Dipsea

6. Creative Project Manager for IPSY

7. Communications Manager for Amazon Watch

8. Latino Media Communications Officer for Planned Parenthood

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