LT in the City Weekly

Oct 07, 2020

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#WednesdayWisdom

"Someone right now is looking for you; someone is looking for a person who reminds them of herself and makes her feel comfortable. Right now, you as you are, your authentic self, you are that person. And if you put on a costume, she’s going to walk right by you." — Arlan Hamilton

Morning Musings

Two weeks ago, just hours after learning about the "decision" in the fatal shooting of Breonna Taylor, I received a call. Upon seeing the fertility clinic show up on caller ID, I waved Jeff over and put the phone on speaker.

Our FET (frozen embryo transfer), scheduled for Sept. 29 -- the date we'd put in our calendars just weeks prior with excitement -- was canceled. Something about too much fluid, not enough lining. To be honest, I tuned out after hearing the word "canceled."

In the monitoring appointments leading up to the call, the nurses had made mention of this. And in an attempt to better understand what they were talking about, I googled and read different IVF blogs. Another couple had their transfer canceled because of endometrial fluid and I assumed we'd suffer the same fate. After reading that post, I cried in Jeff's arms while he tried to remain positive.

My initial reaction after getting The Call was to delete the PTO request I'd submitted for the transfer date and work instead. Push through. That's what I've always done, that's what I'm used to.

Push through so you don't have to think, so you don't have to feel, so you don't have to mourn. But then I heard another voice -- the voice that has become louder throughout this pandemic reminded me when my instincts say to "push through," that's a nudge from my spirit to "press pause."

And so I did. We kept our PTO and went apple picking. Then last Wednesday we woke up to the news that Chrissy Teigen and John Legend had lost their baby, Jack. I rolled over and cried, my heart breaking for them, for us, for everyone grappling with infertility and miscarriage.

I applaud Chrissy for sharing in a world that expects women to suffer in silence. As you might imagine, I draw a lot of strength and inspiration from Chrissy's transparency and vulnerability. And I hope to do the same for those watching me -- to offer some kind of solace in knowing you're not alone in whatever you're going through.

When life tells you to push through, take that as invitation to press pause.

Love,
L'Oreal

ICYMI

Ya girl's been booked, busy and blessed. See below for what I've been up to lately:

Read: Nic Stone Is Writing for Young People Who Don't Normally See Themselves in Fiction (Shondaland)

Read: C.L. Polk's 'The Midnight Bargain' Fuses Regency Romance with Magic (Goodreads)

Read: Are You a Good Ally at Work? Ask Yourself These Questions to Find Out (The Muse)

Listen: Episode 23: Impostor Syndrome & Jealousy (Re-Written Podcast: The Aisha Beau Podcast)

Upcoming

Aka where you can find me this month:

Oct. 10: Rest & Reset Retreat. See below for deets. (FREE)

Oct. 11: How to Be a Better Freelancer. I'm joining New York Times journalist Tim Herrera for a candid convo about pitching and freelance writing. (FREE)

Oct. 15: 2020 Illinois Women in Leadership Symposium. I'll be chatting about the power of social media. ($99)

Oct. 21: Pinot x Poetry. I'm joining my girl Pam for an evening of storytelling, poetry and, of course, vino. (FREE)

Links I Love

1. Normani is Charting New Territory -- Rooted in Relatability (Teen Vogue)

2. Kamala Harris is Fueled By Optimism (ELLE)

3. 'A Battle for the Souls of Black Girls' (New York Times)

Rest & Reset (Mini) Retreat

Join me and a few friends this Saturday, Oct. 10 from 10-12:30 p.m. for a virtual (mini) retreat. ⁣Check below for the lineup:

a meditation by Liz Colpa
restorative yoga session led by Alex Tatis of BK Yoga Club
a journaling exercise led by yours truly
a poetry reading by Pam Johnson Davis

Any and every body is welcome. Registration is FREE! But if you’re feeling generous, we’re accepting a suggested donation of $10, which will benefit Sista Afya, a Chicago-based low-cost mental wellness center servicing Black women. We've raised more than $400 and counting so far! Register here.

My Latest Obsession

Way back when (aka December 2017), I featured Amelia Hruby's original Fifty Feminist Mantras in this very newsletter. Now, she's back with an all-new "illustrated journal for feminists looking to raise their consciousness and strengthen their well-being in a positive, inclusive, and radical way." You had me at feminist.

Now Hiring

Home Assistant Editor for Apartment Therapy
Director, College Access for Achieve Atlanta
Engagement Manager for The Children's Museum of Richmond
Content Strategist and Writer for Empower Work
Program Manager for Braven
Development & Communications Associate for Chicago Arts Partnerships in Education
Operations Manager for The Bell
Deputy Senior Social Media and Content Director for Color of Change

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