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#WednesdayWisdom
"As I step into the person I'm becoming, may I return infinite thanks to the person I was." — Arielle Estoria
Morning Musings
The day after my birthday and two days before our sixth anniversary, Jeff and I learned that our third IVF cycle had failed. While I was better prepared for a negative pregnancy test result this time around (shoutout to my friend Dore for suggesting we have wine on deck), that didn't remove the sting of getting The Call.
We’d been in the middle of a staycation at the time and I spent the majority of the day in the fetal position on the hotel bed. I'd fall asleep, wake up, remember what happened and hurt all over again -- a nightmare I couldn't seem to escape (until our friends Pam and DeMico stopped by for a surprise visit that consisted of said wine, greasy Papa John's pizza and much-needed laughter).
In the last couple of months, I've done a few interviews about our infertility journey, which has led to a lot of reflection. It's been about two years since we started trying; 18 months since we received that initial infertile diagnosis; and we're coming up on one year since we started IVF.
Not to mention the countless appointments, procedures, medication and needles (sooo many needles!), but who's counting? It is a frustrating process -- spending hours on the phone ordering and refilling medications; driving back and forth to appointments every other day; having to adjust your regular workout routine to accommodate oversized ovaries (and y’all know how much I love my Peloton!).
As we prepared for yet another egg retrieval (essentially starting the process all over again), I found my patience wearing thinner and thinner with each passing day. The constant poking and prodding is all a bit much. Yet I remain optimistic. I remain hopeful.
Why? I used to tell people it’s because I have no choice but to be. But after reading a Joyce Meyer devotional about the power of hope, I realize I do have a choice -- and I’m choosing hope. Or, as Joyce put it, I’m “embracing hope on purpose.”
Hope dares us to believe that something good is coming on the other side. Whatever it is you’re going through, I invite you to hang on just a little while longer and hope. Dare to hope.
And with that, I’ll see you in 2021, friends. As part of my self-care, I'm taking these next two weeks off. Take care of yourselves and each other. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So fill it up accordingly.
Love,
L'Oreal
Virtual Happenings
Dec. 16 (TONIGHT): Pinot x Poetry. I'm closing out the year with my friend, best-selling author and award-winning poet Pam Johnson Davis. Join us on IG Live at 6 pm CT for love, laughter and, of course, wine and poetry. (Free)
Dec. 17: Let's Move FWD. My friends at FWD Collective are closing out the year with a celebration featuring Kelly Hoey, author of Build Your Dream Network, and Tai Hutchinson, program manager of Techstars. ($20)
Links I Love
1. A Poem for Oluwatoyin Salau and Black Women Everywhere (ZORA)
2. Tiffany Boone is On Fire (Elle)
3. The Role Publishing Plays in the Commodification of Black Pain (Tor)
My Latest Obsession
If you've been following my Instagram Stories for the last few weeks, chances are you've seen these cards make an appearance. My girl Marissa gifted these Calm the Chaos cards by Nicola Ries Taggart to me for my birthday and they've become quite the hit on the 'gram.
P.s. If you live in Chicago, you can grab a set at ENJOY Chicago.
Now Hiring
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