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#WednesdayWisdom
"Save some space and time for you. 'No' is a sacred word. You don’t have to pour until you’re empty. You don’t have to wait until you breakdown to take a break. You’re enough." — Dr. Thema
Morning Musings
I was reading my friend Vanessa's newsletter earlier this week when a particular headline caught my eye: It's Time For Women To Break Up With Politeness. YES. I immediately clicked the link to read the brilliant article by Brijana Prooker for ELLE and mentally found myself doing this:
Dr. Leela Magavi, one of the experts interviewed for the story had this to say about politeness: "During childhood and adolescence, girls are socialized to respond to individuals’ remarks in a courteous manner, irrespective of the content. Over time, young girls evolve into women who prioritize other individuals’ comfort and emotions over their own.”
Drag me, Dr. Magavi.
It's true I pride myself on my professionalism and politeness (some may call this respectability politics, but that's a different story for a different day). A perpetual people-pleaser, I am very quick to say "yes" to someone else's desires and needs, even if (especially if?) it means putting them above my own. It's a unhealthy habit and one I'm actively working to break in 2021. Nothing like an ongoing global pandemic to wear down your filter and shorten your patience.
Or as one of the subjects interviewed for the story said, "The pandemic forced me to realize my life and my time are way too valuable for me to waste away in politeness."
As part of my recovery efforts I watched this video by therapist Nedra Tawwab about how to stop people-pleasing. Up next, I'm reading her book Set Boundaries, Find Peace. Want to join me? Perhaps we can have an inaugural LT in the City virtual book club at the end of May (this will also hold me accountable to actually finishing a book in a timely manner because yea, it's been a while). Hit "reply" and let me know if you're interested.
Oh, and part of my boundary-setting, I'll be on vacation next week, which means there won't be a newsletter. See you May 12!
Love,
L'Oreal
ICYMI
Last week was National Infertility Awareness Week and ya girl was booked and busy. Check out some of the highlights below:
If anyone needs me, I'll be napping all next week.
Links I Love
1. Watching Ma’Khia Bryant Online (Beauty IRL)
2. It's Time We Start Refusing to Meet the Oscars in the Middle (Refinery 29)
3. Flying While Black: Two Creators on Inventing (and Reinventing) Black Superheroes (New York Times)
My Latest Obsession
Regina BEEN King. That is all.
Now Hiring
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Thank You!
Thank you Meital, Courtney, Sarah, Tara and Cait for buying this week's coffee!! Want to help fuel this newsletter and support my work? Click the button below!
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