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#WednesdayWisdom
"Allow yourself to cry. To feel the swell of uncertainty, sadness, fear, joy, truth, hope ... whatever it is. Allow yourself to feel the fullness of this, being human. You don't have to hold all of that in. Remember, you are held. " — Octavia Raheem
Morning Musings
On Monday, I took a nap after the workday and almost slept through my yoga teacher training. But I'm glad I didn't because the topic of the week was grief. If I'm being honest, grief has been a personal theme for the last few weeks (or months, if I'm keeping it all the way 100).
In last week's newsletter, I wrote about navigating change with grace and compassion. But I'm afraid I may have misspoken. What I've been feeling a lot of lately is not just change, but the grief associated with it.
Last month, I had the immense pleasure of interviewing Nneka M. Okona about her debut book, Self-Care for Grief. I loved how she acknowledged there are many types of grief:
“Loss is loss is loss. Sometimes we create these hierarchies of which loss is more important. Becoming a widow is different from moving to a new city, but they’re both losses, and it’s unfair to compare them. We don’t know how things impact people on a personal level, and it’s important to give people the space to drive through the losses in their life that come their way.”
In the book, Okona offered grief mapping as a way to cope with grieving. Essentially you write the person, place or thing you're grieving in the center of the paper, draw a circle around it and then write all the losses associated with it. I ignored the exercise in the book in an effort to finish reading quickly, but when the exercise came up again during yoga teacher training I knew I had to do it.
In the middle of my paper, I wrote "leaving Chicago" and offshoots included, loss of my routine, moving away from my best friends, loss of having my own space and, of course, the food and culture associated with Chicago, a city that had been my adopted home for the last eight years.
The facilitator, Michelle Cassandra Johnson, also shared the following prompts:
My relationship with grief is ________.
It is important to attend to and acknowledge my grief because ________.
It was a powerful exercise and one I'm still reflecting on. A true Enneagram Type 3, my natural tendency is to push past my feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones like grief. But I'm learning to sit with the discomfort and listen to what it has to teach me.
This isn't to say there's a lesson in every loss. Some losses just don't make sense and I'm not here to paint a rose-colored picture that says otherwise. But when I look back at the losses in my life, I realize grief has taught me a lot about myself and the world.
So I encourage you all to interrogate and integrate your grief into your life. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Heck, it may even be super painful. But your feelings, your grief, deserves to be heard. Make room for it.
Love,
L'Oreal
Return and Retreat
Two of my favorite Chicagoans, Flavia Borges of Frutti Hat Films and Taylor Morrison of Inner Workout, are joining forces to lead Return and Retreat, an immersive water retreat for Black women.
Registration is FREE, but spots are limited (so be sure you can attend before applying). Guests in attendance will receive a swag bag containing: a $50 Athleta gift card, one Instead card deck and Reunion Bath Salts from Inner Workout, a cozy blanket and Return & Retreat tote bag. Interested? Learn more and apply here.
Upcoming Events
Sept. 15: LT in the City Fall Book Club. For our next book club meeting we'll be reading Elayne Fluker's Get Over "I Got It" and we'll be joined by the author herself! Register today.
Links I Love
1. Beyoncé's Evolution (Harper's Bazaar)
2. Your natural hair isn't difficult. You just don't like it. (Needs Discussion)
3. I didn’t know why my friendships kept ending. I realized it was because I was the only Black girl in the group. (The Lily)
My Latest Obsession
One of these days I'll put together a roundup of some of my favorite pregnancy products, but until then I have to share these Signature Bike Shorts from Storq. We're quickly nearing the third trimester, friends, and temperatures continue to climb, so you'll find me in these super comfy shorts from here on out.
Now Hiring
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Editorial Assistant for Penguin Random House
Senior Marketing Manager for Milk Bar
Thank You!
Thank you to Renee and Rachel for buying last week's coffee (although these days it's more like the black tea lemonade from Starbucks)!
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