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#WednesdayWisdom
"Enjoy the journey. Release attachment to the outcome." — Jamila Reddy
Morning Musings
Somewhere around senior year of college my life stopped going according to plan. The full-time job offer I received from the teen magazine I’d been interning at was rescinded due to the 2008 recession. Not part of the plan.
But I pivoted and studied abroad in Italy, then visited my best friend in Bangkok. Also not part of the plan. That fall I got a job as a general news reporter for my hometown newspaper. Not part of my plan to conquer the NYC magazine scene, but it sufficed.
Then several years later, I moved to Chicago because of a boy and a job at one of the most iconic Black magazines of all time. Definitely not part of the plan, but what an adventure! Fast forward to marrying said boy and later deciding to start our own family. That journey certainly didn’t go according to plan.
But now we’re on the brink of making that a reality, and—surprise!—it’s still not going according to plan. For starters, we’d never planned (nor budgeted) for IVF, but after a few stops and starts, we surmounted that hurdle.
Then came the actual pregnancy. I thought I’d be over the moon, full of joy. Instead I've spent most of the time anxious and even experienced a bout of perinatal depression. Absolutely NOT part of the plan.
Then there was our move to Ohio. While it technically went according to plan and our Chicago condo sold in one day, our house hunting on the Columbus side of things has been dismal at best.
Bringing baby home to my husband’s childhood bedroom was also not part of the plan. My dreams of decorating a Pinterest-worthy nursery have not only been dashed, but buried beneath a mountain of hopes and expectations for this pregnancy that have simply not come to fruition.
And receiving word that we’d need to schedule a C-section at 37 weeks because of scar tissue from the myomectomy I had four years ago to remove nearly 20 fibroids (lest my uterus rupture during labor) was so far from part of the plan, I had to fight back tears when our doctor delivered the news.
As I’ve explained to friends, it feels like the biggest test of my life just got pushed up three weeks and I haven’t started studying yet. I suppose this is one of our first lessons in parenting: nothing goes according to plan. You can have the plan, sure. But be prepared to pivot and pivot again. Then pivot some more.
It’s a general life lesson for this Type-A planner and a humbling one at that. And speaking of plans, ya girl will be going on maternity leave starting Oct. 1. What does that mean for this newsletter? Well, next week will be the last one for a while, though I promise to keep you abreast of Baby Payton's arrival.
But the cadence may be a bit different (aka don't expect me in your inbox every Wednesday). I'll write when I can/when I feel like it, but I'm not holding myself to a schedule or—gasp—a plan. Thank you in advance for understanding, for your grace and compassion during what's sure to be our wildest adventure yet.
Love,
L'Oreal
ICYMI
In my latest for Tia Mowry's supplement blog, Anser, I interviewed Les, the founder of Balanced Black Girl. Read on to learn more about her personal wellness journey, how Balanced Black Girl came to be and why you should put yourself at the top of your to-do list.
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Links I Love
1. The Global Pursuit of a Bigger Butt. To paraphrase the late Paul Mooney, everybody wanna be Black, but don't nobody wanna be Black. (The Cut)
2. Michaela Coel’s Emmy Acceptance Speech May Destroy You. If you're a writer (or any creative, really), this one's for you. (Vulture)
3. Ones You Can Depend On: “Ted Lasso” Offers Up an Ode to the Power of Friendship. I love a strong female friendship storyline and I also love Ted Lasso. This story has both. (Bitch)
My Latest Obsession
In preparation for our maternity shoot last week, I treated myself to a mini-spa day at Replenish, a Black family-owned spa co-op referred to me by both our doula and my favorite Peloton yoga instructor, Chelsea Jackson Roberts (an Ohio native).
Simply put: it. was. EVERYTHING! From the moment I walked in, not only did I feel welcome, but I felt at ease—like I could truly let my guard down and breathe. Y'all know this change has been a little (okay, a lot) rough for me, but this spa day restored me in more ways than one. I will most definitely be back!
P.s. Check out a sneak peek of our maternity session here!
Now Hiring
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Director of Power Building for Black Feminist Future
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Associate Art Director for Brooklinen
Thank You!
Much love and many thanks to Jenny for buying last week's coffee!
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