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#WednesdayWisdom
"Love is an action, never simply a feeling." — bell hooks
Morning Musings
I meant to send you a newsletter last Wednesday, but then life happened (aka life with an overly fussy 12-week-old. Yay for developmental leaps!). I even thought about staying up after an early-morning feed that day to get this to you “on time,” but then my conscious was like “hey girl, you went to bed at midnight and now it’s 5:30. Go back to bed.”
Granted, it was a longer stretch of sleep than we got in those early newborn days, but still. I wasn’t meant to be a part of the #5amWritersClub right now, even if it’s technically 6 a.m. as I write this draft in my Notes app while the getting is getting good. But still, I opted not to pull out my laptop and get to work in honor of my chosen word of the year: Ease.
Google "ease" and the first definition that comes up is "absence of difficulty or effort." Yup, I'm aiming for less difficulty in my life (because let's be real, it's often as result of my own doing).
Ease is also the antithesis to my default setting as an overachieving Enneagram 3, who is used to constantly striving, doing, accomplishing. But this year I’m choosing to focus less on how much I do and more on how I feel. When I get the urge to push through, I’m going to press pause and ask myself, “Am I forcing XYZ? What would it look like instead to move with ease?”
I was inspired by my fellow Enneagram 3 Taylor Morrison of Inner Workout (whom you should definitely follow if you’re not already). In a recent newsletter, she wrote about less striving and it struck a chord with me.
All my 3s can relate to Celie from The Color Purple, when she said, “All my life I had to fight.” Granted, she meant this in a literal sense, but how often are we figuratively fighting to prove our worth, prove that we matter. Well, friends, you don’t have to prove anything. You don’t have to earn rest. You do not have to always be doing the most. You can, in fact, do the least if it means preserving your mental health and well-being.
And I’m finding when I do less, what I end up doing means more. It’s more intentional. I’m able to give it (whatever it is) more attention—my full attention—rather than fleeting from one task to the next like a Productivity Tinkerbell.
We were not meant to fleet. We are built to focus. One day, one task at a time. So I’m choosing ease. I’m tired of trying to make fetch happen, and I'm willing to bet you are, too.
Love,
L'Oreal
I Want to Interview You
As you may recall, I'm writing my first book (EEK!). Trust Your Dopeness is all about overcoming impostor syndrome and conquering self-doubt. And I want to hear from you!
I want to hear it all--your stories, your anecdotes, your challenges and triumphs when it comes to self-doubt. If you're willing to speak with me, please fill out the short survey below. It should take about 5-10 minutes (depending on how deep you want to get) and I'd be eternally grateful. Thank you in advance!
ICYMI
I've been writing, I've been writing (Beyoncé voice). Okay, I haven't been doing a ton of writing lately (ya know, baby and all), but here are a few bylines that hit while I was on maternity leave...
Phoebe Robinson is on a Roll (Shondaland)
Blair Imani Wants to Help You Become ‘Smarter in Seconds’ (Shondaland)
How I Stopped Expecting the Worst and Started Celebrating the Now After Five Cycles of IVF (Modern Fertility)
"Pause, Rest, Be" Book Club
We're doing things a little differently for our winter book club. Next month, we'll be reading Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change, the second book from my friend, mentor and yoga teacher Octavia Raheem.
I'm excited to be one of 13 book club hosts across the country. We'll meet twice as a small group on Feb. 9 and Feb. 16 and then once as a larger group with the author herself on Feb. 26!
And this is no ordinary book club. I'll be leading you through a restorative yoga practice as well. So purchase your book, grab whatever makes you cozy and I'll meet you on the mat (or ya know, your sofa, bed--wherever you feel comfy!). All levels are welcome.
Links I Love
I did at lot of reading in the dark during those first few weeks of maternity leave (hello, nighttime feedings!). Here are a few of my faves:
1. On Routine. I've been eating overnight oats every morning while on maternity leave (rumor has it they're supposed to boost your milk supply!), so I appreciated this ode to oatmeal in writer Alicia Kennedy's weekly newsletter.
2. The True Love Story at the Center of Insecure Was Always Between Issa and Molly. I mean, the headline says it all and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
3. Reaching for bell hooks in the Darkness. There's no way you can be a Black woman writer without having been influenced by bell hooks. It's simply not possible.
My Latest Obsession
Husbae and I binged Selling Tampa last week after I saw a few Twitter peeps (tweeps?) talking about it. What can I say? I'm a sucker for reality TV and this one combines Million Dollar Listing, which he loves, with Real Housewives, which I love. It's a win-win in the Payton household!
Now Hiring
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Director of Digital Strategy for The League
Thank You!
Special thank you to Meghan, Cassandra, Noella, Caitlin and Kym for supporting my work while I was out. Even though I’m drinking decaf these days (thanks to breastfeeding), your coffee—I mean, support—means more now than ever.
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