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#WednesdayWisdom

"When we stop holding on to the things that we're ready to let go of, it allows for reflection on the beauty and growth we've experienced along the way." — Alexandra Elle

Morning Musings

Yesterday was my first official day back from maternity leave and, as this week's subject line indicates, it did not go according to plan. Legitimately every time I sat down to write this newsletter, Violet would wake up from a nap and thus the diaper, feed, play, nap cycle would begin all over again every two hours like clockwork. Forget the rest of my to-do list, I'm pretty much a 24-hour milk machine at this point.

Put bluntly, this sh*t is hard. Parenting is hard. Parenting during season three of a global pandemic is really hard. Simply surviving is hard for anyone right now because of said pandemic and every day it feels like there's no end in sight. And yet I feel bad for complaining because of, well, ~gestures broadly to all of my previous writings about infertility and IVF~ everything we've been through.

But a recent New York Times article reminded me that I'm allowed to complain. As psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin so eloquently put it, "It is 100 percent normal to feel conflicted about parenthood even if you went through hell to become a parent.”

We're doing ourselves a major disservice when we don't allow ourselves to feel the breadth of our emotions. And in case you need a refresher on the wide range of emotions out there, I invite you to read this piece I wrote about the Feelings Wheel, which I have saved to my phone and use in just about every therapy appointment.

It's way too much pressure to force yourself to be grateful for every moment all the time. That's not how being a human works. And as my husband, sister, parents, and friends remind me every day, you've got to extend yourself grace. In this season especially, but throughout life forever. We're all doing the best we can with what we've got right now and some days, it ain't much. But we 

Love,
L'Oreal

I Want to Interview You

As you may recall, I'm writing my first book (EEK!). Trust Your Dopeness is all about overcoming impostor syndrome and conquering self-doubt. And I want to hear from you!

I want to hear it all--your stories, your anecdotes, your challenges and triumphs when it comes to self-doubt. If you're willing to speak with me, please fill out the short survey below. It should take about 5-10 minutes (depending on how deep you want to get) and I'd be eternally grateful. Thank you in advance!

ICYMI

It's only fitting that my first byline of 2022 dropped on the first day of Black History Month. In my latest for Well + Good, I talked to Oludara Adeeyo, author of Self-Care for Black Women about how caring for ourselves is a necessity, not a luxury.

"Pause, Rest, Be" Book Club

Our winter book club kicks off next Wednesday! We're reading Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change, the second book from my friend, mentor and yoga teacher Octavia Raheem.

I'm excited to be one of 13 book club hosts across the country. We'll meet twice as a small group on Feb. 9 and Feb. 16 and then once as a larger group with the author herself on Feb. 26!

And this is no ordinary book club. I'll be leading you through a restorative yoga practice as well. So purchase your book, grab whatever makes you cozy and I'll meet you on the mat (or ya know, your sofa, bed--wherever you feel comfy!). All levels are welcome.
 

Links I Love

1. In Black Culture, Wine Has Always Been A Strong Supporting Character. When it comes to wine, Black people aren't new to this, we're true to this. Wine journalist Chasity Cooper explains. (Wine With Chas)

2. They Almost Don't Feel Local Anymore. In this episode of BLK IRL, Anuli Akanegbu chats with Jewel Wicker of Capital B Atlanta about the state of Black media. (BLK IRL)

3. Mary J. Blige on Navigating Self-Acceptance Through Beauty. I just want to know when the MJB OTK boots are dropping, okay?! (ELLE)

My Latest Obsession

High of the premiere of Janet Jackson's two-night self-titled Lifetime documentary event, I've been listening to her songs on repeat. My dream job when I was little was to be Janet Jackson's backup dancer (in addition to a doctor and astronaut because duh). 

I remember pulling my ponytail through a black Maryland Lottery baseball cap when I was younger and trying to replicate the "Rhythm Nation" choreography. I asked Twitter to share their fave Janet songs/music videos and decided it's pretty much impossible to narrow down. Hit reply and let me know your faves!

Now Hiring

1. Sales and Partnerships Lead for mater mea

2. Climate and Environment Reporter for Capital B

3. Contributing Writer, Education for Prism

4. Assistant Editor for Literary Hub

5. Grants & Development Contractor for Women Unite!

6. Chief Communications Officer for Vote Run Lead

7. Director of Development, College of Arts and Sciences for Howard University

8. Digital Communications Coordinator for Chicago Foundation for Women

Thank You!

Thank you to Haley, Kate and an anonymous supporter for buying last week's coffee, very much needed and appreciated for book writing.

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