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Feb 09, 2022

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#WednesdayWisdom

"Lesson of 2022: Girl, you gotta let it GO so it can grow. This applies to dreams, unrealistic expectations, the past, the future, control, hair. Alladat. Let it go, babes." — Angelique Dyer

Morning Musings

While pumping last week, I encouraged my Instagram followers to ask me anything. One of my friends asked what's been the most surprising thing about motherhood? I tried to think of an eloquent answer, but ended up giving the same response I'd given when another friend asked shortly after Violet was born:

"It may sound weird, but the most surprising thing to me so far is that I'm still myself. I remember being really worried during the last trimester that I'd somehow lose myself in motherhood. But I've been relieved to learn I'm still the same LT. Yes, motherhood has changed me, but I'm still me."

My reply resonated with quite a few people who shared the same fear and I thought to myself, we really need to talk about this as a society. I feel like there's immense pressure put on women to put their identities as mothers ahead of everything else or bust! It's almost as if you don't identify as a mom first and foremost, then you're a bad mom. I reject that notion.

Being a mom is just one part of my identity, albeit a big part as keeping a tiny human alive is no small feat. But I've found three months into this journey that caring for myself and nurturing those other parts of my identity (wife, sister, friend, daughter, writer, Peloton enthusiast, book aficionado) enables me to be a better mother. There's a reason flight attendants remind you to put on your own oxygen mask first when traveling with small children.

I distinctly remember holding Violet after she was born (and a quick stint at the NICU) when I breathed a sigh of relief: I'm still me. I was afraid that I'd be consumed by motherhood and lose the essence that makes me me.

I was even more relieved when I cracked open my laptop to write my first newsletter since she was born and later when I filed my first freelance assignment of the year. I still had it and moreover, I still enjoyed it. I was a writer long before I became a mom and cultivating my creativity will always be a priority. It has to be...my mental health and well-being depend on it. Same goes for working out. As author Oludara Adeeyo reminded me during our conversation for Well + Good, self-care is not a luxury, it's a legacy. How are you caring for yourselves, friends?

Love,
L'Oreal

I Want to Interview You

Much love and many thanks to everyone who's taken the survey for my book, Trust Your Dopeness, thus far. I'll be reviewing submissions soon, so if you want to tell your story, now's your chance!

If you're willing to speak with me, please fill out the short survey below. It should take about 5-10 minutes (depending on how deep you want to get) and I'd be eternally grateful. Thank you in advance!

"Pause, Rest, Be" Book Club

Tonight's the night! We're kicking off part one of the Pause, Rest, Be book club. ICMYI, we're reading Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change, the second book from my friend, mentor and yoga teacher Octavia Raheem.

And this is no ordinary book club. I'll be leading you through a restorative yoga practice as well. So purchase your book, grab whatever makes you cozy and I'll meet you on the mat (or ya know, your sofa, bed--wherever you feel comfy!). All levels are welcome.

Links I Love

1. On Productivity. The Enneagram 3 in me thrives on productivity, but that isn't exactly healthy. Writer Alicia Kennedy explores other ways of being. (From the Desk of Alicia Kennedy)

2. Getting Real (Like, Really Real) with Gabrielle Union. I could listen to my birthday twin for hours. Scorpios really are the best zodiac sign (don't @ me). (NPR Code Switch)

3. A Conversation with Octavia Raheem. This isn't an article or a podcast, but an Instagram Live between two of my favorite yoga teachers and the women who inspired me to become a yoga teacher myself, Octavia Raheem and Chelsea Jackson Roberts. Warning: you will get your whole life.

My Latest Obsession

I've been a fan of Glory Edim ever since she launched Well-Read Black Girl back in 2015, so naturally I couldn't wait to listen to the new WRBG podcast. I can't wait to chat with Glory about my forthcoming book at a future WRBGFest (yes, I'm speaking it into existence)!

Now Hiring

Assistant Editor for Word Force
Communications Fellow for UPROSE
Director of Marketing and Communications for Scratch Foundation
Political Reporter for Mother Jones
Communications & Storytelling Director for Justice for Migrant Women
Senior Reporter, Features (Climate & Environmental Justice) for Prism
HR Manager for YR Media
Manager of Education and Research for HEART Women & Girls

Thank You!

Thank you, Traci and Minolta, for last week's coffee!

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