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Feb 16, 2022

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#WednesdayWisdom

"You did the best you could. And things didn't exactly turn out the way you had hoped, but good things still happened. And you learned important lessons that will help you to do better in the future. And you're still here to try again another day." — Michell C. Clark

Morning Musings

As someone who's been known to have upwards of 20 items on her to-do list, you could say I'm constantly doing the most with the least. But my overachiever tendencies have never presented a "real" problem until recently. As it turns out, being a parent is a full-time job on top of a full-time job and, well, if you add breastfeeding to it, that's yet another full-time job (like, 1,800 hours a year).

Case in point: as part of a Parents Who Freelance group coaching cohort I'm in, we were instructed to track our time for a week or two--everything from emails to diaper changes. In our February session, we discussed taking an honest look at our capacity, honoring it for what it is and not what we wish it could be and narrowing down our priorities accordingly.

I landed on three: 1) keeping this baby alive and making sure she feels loved; 2) writing this book; and 3) working to support the other two goals. Dassit. Everything else will and has to fall by the wayside at this stage in life. I simply cannot operate at my pre-parenting capacity, which reminds me of this newsletter I wrote about doing my Now it's my "parenting in a pandemic best."

So instead of a 20-item to-do list, I'm narrowing it down to one main thing that needs to get done that day and I aim to do that task first before email, before I get distracted by social media and ideally before the baby wakes up from her nap. One thing that's going to help move the needle toward accomplishing my Big Three priorities.

What would it look like to honor your current capacity and not compare it to a previous, perhaps more productive version of yourself? What would it look like to strip down the to-do list and focus on one task one day at a time?

Love,
L'Oreal

Thank You

Much love and many thanks to everyone who completed the book survey. Thank you so much for trusting me with your stories. I'm in the process of reviewing your submissions and will be sure to reach out if I need additional info. And if you'd like to share, there's still time!

"Pause, Rest, Be" Book Club

We enjoyed a lovely evening of reading and resting at part one of the Pause, Rest, Be book club last week. There's still time to join us for part two this evening and then part three on Feb. 26 with the author, Octavia Raheem.

So purchase your book, grab whatever makes you cozy and I'll meet you on the mat (or ya know, your sofa, bed--wherever you feel comfy!). All levels are welcome.

Links I Love

1. Sheryl Lee Ralph Loves Herself Loudly. If you, like me, grew up watching Sister Act 2 and Moesha, then you'll love this profile with the queen herself. (W Magazine)

2. The Healing Journey: How Migration and Travel Help Black People Grieve. In this powerful essay, author Nneka M. Okona looks at the cultural elements of grief. (Well + Good)

3. Journeying Through Motherhood; Simple Reminders Rooted In Love. I love my Twitter mom friends and this blog post from Amber Janae is a must-read for anyone who's given birth. (DvnOasis)

My Latest Obsession

My friend Sierra has been on The StoryGraph for years, but it wasn't until one of my fave bookstagrammers Jenay Ross Zhyrov posted colorful screenshots of the Black woman-owned app did I take the plunge (sorry, Sierra!). Think of it as a more interactive, in-depth Goodreads, but better because it's not owned by Amazon. And did I mention it's Black woman-owned? Follow me and my reads at @LTintheCity.

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