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#WednesdayWisdom
"Reminder: Giving yourself permission to start over is how you show yourself love." — Alex Elle
Morning Musings
After eight months in Ohio, the Payton family is moving back to Chicago (well, technically Evanston). Yes, yes I know how I previously wrote about how we were . So what happened?
Well, the simplest way to put it is we had a change of heart. We were doing what we were supposed to do: have a baby and move to the suburbs. After all, it's what our parents did before us. They were the blueprint. But ultimately we decided to chart our own course.
I went in thinking Columbus would be a mini-Chicago and I was wrong. Very wrong. While looking at homes in Columbus, we realized what we were looking for was a Ohio replica of Rogers Park, our neighborhood in Chicago: diverse, progressive and walkable.
Not to mention the housing market was (still is) ridiculous. There was no way we could compete with people offering $50,000 over list price ... and. all cash at that! After a few months of searching for a home, we knew we had to call off the search to prepare for the arrival of our baby. And the longer we waited, the more I missed Chicago.
I've never been good with change and being out of my comfort zone really started to weigh on me, especially while pregnant and later when I experienced postpartum depression.
Eventually I realized, I could make Columbus work, but my heart would always be in Chicago. I could learn to be content, but I'd never be truly happy. But isn't that what you're supposed to do as a mom? Sacrifice your well-being for the sake of your family and put your child's happiness above your own? I'd certainly seen examples of this, but I decided that wasn't going to be me. That wasn't going to be my story.
People joke about "if mom's not happy, then no one's happy." But I knew if we were to stay in Ohio, I wouldn't be my best self. And then I wouldn't be able to be a good wife to Jeff or a good mom to Violet.
As my friend's mom reminded me, while Baltimore will forever be my childhood home, Chicago is my adult home. One is my biological home and one is my chosen home. Indeed this is where I came into myself, where Jeff and I laid down roots as a couple and where we started our family. And now it'll be the city where we raise our family ... at least for now.
Love,
L'Oreal
P.S. We move next week (eek!), so there won't be a newsletter on March 30. See you in April!
ICYMI
In my first for Kindred, Parents magazine offshoot for Black parents and caregivers, I wrote about time importance of having a virtual village as a first-tie mom.
LT in the City Book Club
Our spring book club pick is Self-Care for Black Women by Oludara Adeeyo and we'll be meeting on Wednesday, April 13 at 7pm ET. I had the pleasure of interviewing Oludara for Well + Good earlier this year and I can't wait for you all to join the conversation. This book club event will feature a brief yoga practice (all welcomes level) and guided meditation led by yours truly, as well as a Q&A with the author herself.
Links I Love
1. Quinta Brunson, The Bright Light (Essence)
2. Violence Against Asian American Women Is Rooted in More Than Just ‘Hate’ (I Have Notes)
3. The Baby-Sitters Club Wasn’t Enough for Netflix Anymore (Vulture)
Editor's Note: To be clear, I loooved Baby-Sitters Club, both the books and the Netflix series. Whyyy can't we have great things? [insert distressed emoji]
Classifieds
Join FWD (For Women & Diversity) Collective's "Heart. Mind. Bottom Line." Summit on 3/26 for executive insights, meaningful connections & conversations, networking & professional development opportunities. Both in-person & virtual tickets available. Use code LT20FWD for 20% off.
Want to promote your small business or upcoming event? Check out a classified ad.
My Latest Obsession
I first learned of Turning Red after a friend informed me of the new Disney+ original while we were literally standing at the red panda exhibit at the Columbus Zoo. I was intrigued and then when I saw the backlash it was receiving from parents grossed out by periods and "unable" to relate to a Asian Canadian teenage girl, I knew I had to watch if for no other reason than to help get the streaming numbers up. And what can I say? I love a good coming-of-age story full of female friendship. Also, I may low-key be Mei Lee. #PeoplePleasersUnite
Now Hiring
Senior Communications Director for Caring Across Generations
Director of Program Innovation, Chicago for OneGoal
Project Communications Coordinator for Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
Multimedia Producer for NYCLU
Communications Associate, Rights and Inclusion for ReThink Media
Administrative Assistant, Membership Accounts for GRAMMY U
Senior Reporter for The Hollywood Reporter
Fine and Performing Arts Schools Manager for Chicago Public Schools
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