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#WednesdayWisdom
"You did the best you could with what you had at the time. I don’t think we grow from our choices when we shroud them in guilt or shame. Love the version of you that did their best. Grow from that place of self-love and acceptance." — @ashleysimpo
Morning Musings
Well, y'all, we did it. Baby girl is officially in daycare and dare I to say, I think she likes it? Surprisingly, there were no tears on either end during drop-off and, at the time of this writing, I have yet to cry. I'm shocked as I was certain I'd be a hot mess in the parking lot, but I think our gradual entry approach (first stopping by to pick up her enrollment paperwork, then dropping off said paperwork and staying a little bit for Picture Day) helped.
I'm also a big "go with your gut" person and felt comforted leaving her in the hands of the caring co-directors and her teacher, who was the same one that gave us the virtual tour while we were back in Ohio.
One of my biggest anxieties in leaving her was letting go. First it's daycare, then it's school and after that, college or whatever she decides to do. I was worried this would be the last time she was solely "ours," especially given we'd only enjoyed a few nights as a family of three.
Then I thought, maybe our children are never really "ours" to begin with. Sure, we love them and care for them and nurture them as best we can. But they're their own people, with their own ideas, emotions and goals. Perhaps our jobs as parents is to "simply" guide them along the way (simply in quotation marks because there's nothing simple about parenting at all! LOL).
And if we're being super honest, I'm feeling more guilt for feeling relieved about not being with her 24/7 than I did dropping her off. I think ultimately (as my mom friend and fellow journalist Anna assured me) this time apart will be good for all of us.
Violet will get to learn and grow in ways that I can't support right now (after all, my major was communications, not child development). And I will get some much needed time to myself. Time to write. Time to shower with the music on and not rush through lunch. Time to fill my cup so that I can pour into hers when she's home. Time to hopefully become a more patient, less weary mom.
Sure, I miss my little buddy. We've been together every day for the last six months (longer counting her time in the womb). And I'm also excited to see her grow!
Love,
L'Oreal
Upcoming Events
April 13 (TONIGHT): LT in the City Spring Book Club. Our spring book club pick is Self-Care for Black Women by Oludara Adeeyo. This book club event will feature a brief yoga practice (all welcomes level) and guided meditation led by yours truly, as well as a Q&A with the author herself.
April 22: Permission to Write Office Hours. Join me and my writer friend Ashley Coleman for an informal on querying, editing and revision, our journeys so far and answering any of your traditional publishing questions from an author’s perspective.
April 24: An Introduction to the Basics of Being a Freelancer. Join me and former New York Times editor Tim Herrera for a candid convo about all things being an independent journalist, including invoicing, negotiating contracts, finding work, building relationships with editors, writing strong first drafts, and more.
Links I Love
1. Oh, Baby! Rihanna's Plus One (Vogue)
2. Janelle James Loves Being a Bad Boss in ‘Abbott Elementary’ (New York Times)
3. An Open Letter to Black Moms During Black Maternal Health Week (Kindred)
My Latest Obsession
I started listening to Deesha Philyaw's The Secret Lives of Church Ladies and babyyy, let's just say I cannot wait for the HBO Max adaptation. If you grew up in or around (or are simply curious about) Black church, chances are you'll love this, too.
Now Hiring
Senior Editor for Jezebel
Lifestyle Writer for Romper
Writer/Editor for The National Women’s Law Center
Social Media Editor for Morning Brew
Director of Marketing for CHANI
TV Editor for Bustle
Sr. Manager of People, Culture, and Equity for AIDS Foundation Chicago
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