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Jun 08, 2022

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#WednesdayWisdom

"Manifesting the things you want also requires that you let them go and trust that they will show up exactly when they’re supposed to.." ~ @ashleysimpo

Morning Musings

Y'all, I did it! I wrote an actual factual book. Last week, I submitted the first draft for my first book. Writing a book is hard. Writing a book while pregnant, and then caring for an infant all while nurturing yourself physically, mentally and emotionally is even harder.

It's messy, it's imperfect ... heck, it's even several thousand words short of my contracted word count (sorry, Rachel!) and it is the epitome of what author Anne Lamott infamously refers to as the "Shitty First Draft."

Some kind soul on Twitter graciously shared this excerpt from Lamott when I was in the midst of a pseudo panic attack in a small town Ohio coffee shop wondering how the hell I was ever going to write this damn book.

My therapist once told me my perfectionism a form of anxiety, and well, nothing like a looming deadline (one I pushed off for months and months and months ... again, sorry, to my editor) to get that anxiety going. Which then leads to procrastination, which leads to more anxiety. A vicious cycle indeed.

As I've written here before, I had to learn to and put words on the page. In truth, I didn't really hit my stride until a few weeks before deadline. I'm not sure what clicked, but that notion of progress over perfection finally started to stick. Especially when I came to this part in Lamott's writing:

“Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something -- anything -- down on paper. A friend of mine says that the first draft is the down draft -- you just get it down. The second draft is the up draft -- you fix it up. You try to say what you have to say more accurately. And the third draft is the dental draft, where you check every tooth, to see if it's loose or cramped or decayed, or even, God help us, healthy.”

Friends, the down draft is done. There are words on pages ... many, many pages. And now, we can make them better. Because as a wise person once tweeted, "You can fix bad. You can't fix nothing."

Love,
L'Oreal

P.s. As it turns out, the original book title is copyrighted and owned by a major global brand (ugh), and we need a new title, stat! So, how do you say "trust your dopeness" without saying trust your dopeness? Hit reply and let me know (and if we end up using your suggestion, I will for sure give you a shout-out in the acknowledgements)! #TeamworkMakesTheDreamWork

ICYMI

I've been writing, I've been writing (Beyoncé "Drunk In Love" voice). Here's what you missed while I was away:

I was also quoted in a VeryWell article about mental health and I was a guest on The Joyful Freelancer podcast where I talked all things parenting and freelancing.

Links I Love

1. A Love Letter to the Black Pearsons of ‘This Is Us’ (Andscape)

2. I Wish I Had The Lesbiana’s Guide To Catholic School As A Teen (ELLE)

3. Could ‘Hair Autonomy’ Be The Next Big Natural Hair Movement? (Unbothered UK)

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My Latest Obsession

If y'all have been around here for a minute, then you know I love the Real Housewives franchise. I don't even consider it a guilty pleasure, because what's to feel guilty about? The Scorpio in me loooves drama, baby! After a particular boring-so-far season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, I was excited to tune in to the series premiere of Real Housewives of Dubai. It's giving opulence and mess, and I literally love to see it. Tune in tonight and let me know what you think! Also, does anyone know when Real Housewives of Lagos is going to premiere in the U.S.? I'm impatiently waiting!

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Support This Newsletter

Special thank you to Colin, Katie, Najja, Cat, Bettina, Anna, Jennifer, Iris and Sharon for getting me over the final hump in submitting my first draft. I appreciate y'all!

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