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Jul 06, 2022

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#WednesdayWisdom

"control what you can today. show up for yourself and show up for your people. protect your peace and protect your boundaries. focus on what matters, not what's been sent to distract you." — @MichellCClark

Morning Musings

We were driving back to Chicago on Monday after visiting family in St. Paul this weekend when my phone began going off with calls, texts and DMs. There had been a mass shooting in Highland Park, a Chicago suburb, during a Fourth of July parade.

Later that evening, while doomscrolling Twitter, I saw footage of people running from another active shooter situation in Philadelphia as fireworks were going off. This is America, I thought.

Growing up, I loved attending parades and watching fireworks. Heck, I even celebrated the Fourth of July with the best of them in my Old Navy flag tees until I learned more about this country's racist past and present.

I also saw video of the suspected Highland Park shooter--someone who was considered armed and dangerous--being peacefully apprehended. Unlike Jaylan Walker, an unarmed Black man who was shot more than 60 times and killed by police. This is America.

Monday night I laid in bed staring at the ceiling as fireworks went off well into the night, my nerves and anxiety getting the best of me. And for at least the fourth time in recent weeks I wondered, what have I done? Why did we decide to bring life into this cruel, ugly world?

Shortly after the Roe v. Wade decision was announced, someone tweeted, "idk Beyoncé, this may break my soul." And last night, as it occurred to me I may never feel safe taking Violet to a parade or fireworks...yet another tradition wrapped in tragedy.

Thankfully, she is blissfully unaware of what's going on, but that bliss won't last forever, especially for Black children. As a parent, I have a duty to protect her at all costs, but it's disheartening to realize our elected officials don't feel the same way. So what do we do?

Truth be told, I feel a bit guilty for deciding to have kids. Back when we were struggling to conceive, Jeff would contend that having kids is a selfish act. Now with the world literally on fire and mass shootings every other day, I'm starting to see his point. But again, what do we do?

There was an opinion piece in the New York Times about how having kids is an act of radical hope. I can't say I'm entirely convinced, but I desperately need something to hold onto and, if you're a parent, maybe you do, too. Maybe we all do.

Love,
L'Oreal

Links I Love

1. How I Found Community in the South as a Black Queer Woman (The Washington Post)

2. Our World Must Embrace Neurodiverse Children Like Mine (Parents)

3. A Few Questions You Can Ask Yourself on Hopeless Days (The White Pages)

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My Latest Obsession

While out for a walk this past weekend, I stumbled upon Minnesota jeweler Larissa Loden's new shop. Y'all, it's dangerous in there. On my first visit, I bought several colorful hair clips by Nat + Noor. But I couldn't stop thinking about the postpartum moonstone bracelet there as well, so I went back and bought it (pictured here). According to the website, moonstone is known as the fertility stone and is said to help people during new beginnings. Use moonstone to support inner growth, strength, and emotional healing postpartum." Better yet? Twenty percent of sales are donated to Pregnancy & Postpartum Support Minnesota (PPSM) supporting their work with perinatal mental health. Sign me up!

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