Subscribe to LT in the City Weekly

Sep 21, 2022

Spread the love, forward to a friend!

#WednesdayWisdom

"i don’t need to be perfect. i need to be my favorite version of me. sharing what i love. doing what i love. with love." ~ deun ivory

Morning Musings

Well y'all, it finally happened. It took five months, but I finally cried in the daycare parking lot last week after Violet moved up to the next infant classroom. I'd known this day would one day come, but I'd anticipated it being on or shortly after her first birthday. What I didn't know was that classroom transitions are more so based on development than age.

And while I'm certainly happy for her to be learning and growing, it also feels like it's all happening so fast. I mean, a couple of days before starting in her new classroom we also had to lower her crib. Intellectually I know these milestones are coming, but emotionally I was not prepared.

If losing my Peloton streak forced me to finally confront a lifelong toxic relationship with perfection, then becoming a parent is making become comfortable with change, which traditionally has made me very uncomfortable. What can I say? I'm a creature of habit and I love a good routine.

In an effort to keep Violet aware of what was happening, I'd talk to her about her new class during diaper changes and walks to and from daycare. I wanted to assure her this was new, but it would be okay. I suppose I could benefitted from one of the same pep talks.

I put on a brave face as I handed her over to her new teacher and glanced down at her new classmates who were all eager to greet her--I didn't want her to absorb any of my anxiety. But as soon as I was safe within the confines of our car, I let the tears fall and called Jeff, my rock, to talk me off the anxious parent ledge I love to teeter on every now and then and again.

I waited for bated breath for those first pictures to upload onto the daycare app. I needed to see her face to make sure she was okay, that she was having fun and the other babies were being nice to her. We got a report at pickup that she'd had a great first day and by the end of the second day, she'd mastered pulling herself to stand up on her own. She'll be walking in no time, and I suppose that's just how parenting works.

They grow. They learn. They go. They'll eventually leave. But they were never ours to begin with. Or, as this Instagram post so eloquently says: "we have to step back so they can step in. We have to let pieces of ourselves go with it."

Love,
L'Oreal

Upcoming Events Club

Sept. 21 (TONIGHT): Join me and Ashley Simpo, managing editor of CRWN mag at 8pm ET/7 pm CT for a candid convo about all things parenting and writing. Set a reminder here.

Oct. 6: I'm chatting with Camesha L. Jones of Sista Aafya to share tips on overcoming impostor syndrome. Register here.

Links I Love

1. A Lawyer Finds Her Happily-Ever-After as a Romance Writer (New York Times)

2. TS Madison Talks Being Sampled On 'Renaissance:' 'You Never Know How Things Line Up' (Essence)

3. Sheryl Lee Ralph Put In the Time and the Work. Hollywood is Finally Taking Notice (Los Angeles Times)

My Latest Obsession

I think I've said this every year since season one of Never Have I Ever premiered in 2020, but it truly is one of the best shows on TV right now. I love me a coming-of-age story starring an awkward young woman of color and this offering from Mindy Kaling does not disappoint. I'm just sad next year's season four is rumored to be the last one. Like, just let us follow them to college. I'll watch!

Now Hiring

Social Film Manager for Netflix
Designer & Digital Specialist for me too
Director of HR/People for the National Center for Transgender Equality
Manager of Talent, Learning, Equity & Inclusion for Chicago Scholars Foundation
Communications Director for Giffords
Senior Director, Safety and Justice for The Pew Charitable Trusts
Digital Communications Director for the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies
Director of Development for The Praxis Project

Support This Newsletter

Special thank you to Ashley and Samantha for buying last week's coffee. Want to help fuel this newsletter and support my work? Click the button below!

Psst...did a friend forward you this newsletter? Subscribe here so you never miss an issue! Liked what you read? Be sure to follow using the buttons below.