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Oct 19, 2022

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#WednesdayWisdom

"Rest, in its simplest form, becomes an act of resistance and a reclaiming of power because it asserts our most basic humanity. We are enough. The systems cannot have us." ~ Tricia Hersey of The Nap Ministry

Morning Musings

Last night, for the first time since starting six weeks ago, we skipped swim lessons. This may not be a particularly scandalous to you. But as someone who never missed a day of school (thanks to my mom's instance upon "sending the germs back where we go them") and the daughter of a firefighter who went 30+ years without taking a sick day, you could say I'm allergic to breaks.

I've tried to embrace mental health breaks in my older age and you would think I'd prioritize them as someone who has health and wellness in their job title, but alas it seems as though this is a lesson I'm still learning. Which is how I found myself crying in the backseat while strapping Violet in her carseat for swim lessons Tuesday night as she was crying, too.

We were all tired. It'd been a whirlwind weekend what with her first birthday party (and some 50ish guests); hosting/entertaining family; and an impromptu visit to urgent care (everyone is good now, no worries). Jeff had suggested we skip this week, but in my ever-present desire to be a "Good Mom"--whatever that means--I decided to push through. And it backfired, tremendously. Thus our matching mother-daughter crying session in the backseat.

I've written before about how is usually a signal that I need to press pause, but Mom L'Oreal seems to have missed the memo. Luckily, Jeff was there to remind me. So we skipped the lesson; went to McDonald's to get a Happy Halloween bucket for me...I mean, Violet; and then Trader Joe's to pick up actual dinner.

There are no rewards for perfect attendance in real life. No gold stars for a job well done. This world will take and take and take so long as you let it. So it's up to you to take back your sanity, your rest and your mental health.

And in case nobody told you today (or ever), you do not have to earn rest. You--yes, YOU--can take a break. It doesn't make you a bad, selfish or inattentive mom (or whatever title is presenting you with the most guilt at the moment). After all, you have to apply your own oxygen mask first--don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Love,
L'Oreal

ICYMI

Making friends as an adult isn't easy, so I spoke to friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson for a few pointers. Learn more in my latest for Fortune Well.

I was also quoted in this Washington Post article about Black people and spaghetti.

Links I Love

1. Issa Rae Is Not Willing to Compromise (ELLE)

2. Appropriate, Messy, Affordable: How ‘Abbott Elementary’ Nails Teacher Style (The Wall Street Journal)

3. Sass And Shimmer: The Dazzling History Of Black Majorettes And Dance Lines (Essence)

My Latest Obsession

I'd heard a lot of buzz around Jessamine Chan's debut novel, The School for Good Mothers, so naturally I had to check it out. And I'm slowly, but surely making my way through. Emphasis on slowly. A year postpartum still may be a bit too soon to read this dystopian novel and what happens to mothers who make mistakes and fail to meet expectations. I'm reading in awe--both in the sense of abject terror as a mom and absolute admiration as an author.

Now Hiring

Reporter, Health Care for ProPublica
Audience Engagement Editor for The Hechinger Report
Entertainment Editor for BuzzFeed
Marketing & Engagement Director for BlackStar
Communications Manager for The Shriver Center on Poverty Law
Director, Medill Local News Accelerator for Northwestern University
Culture & Community Coordinator for Twitter
Chief Operating Officer for National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum

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Special thank you Heather, Flavia and an anonymous supporter for buying last week's coffee.

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