a perfectly imperfect weekend
a lesson on going with the flow
#WednesdayWisdom
“In order to successfully manifest the life that you desire, your intentions have to be rooted in truth pure honesty. What lacks honesty creates confusion. It can’t find you find when you’re lying to yourself and others.” ~ @ajscribes
Morning Musings
On Friday night, Violet had her first Happy Meal. I took this picture to capture the memory, and also as a poignant reminder that when life hands you lemons … you get McDonald’s.
Simply put, Friday was a hellscape. I’ll spare you all of the details, but let’s just say it involved a trip to urgent care (everyone’s fine) and me not realizing the cafe at the drive-in would be closed during the movie (thus the Happy Meal). And because God has a sense of humor, the floodgates opened up and the power went out shortly after we got home…for 12+ hours.
The next day, to escape the heat and avoid opening/reopening the fridge, we went to brunch before swim lessons. Except when we got to swim lessons, they were canceled. So we had an impromptu beach day. And then, because a birthday party we were going to later that afternoon was also canceled, we went to a block party where Violet got to play with some of her daycare friends and meet other neighborhood kids.
It was a perfectly imperfect weekend and a very Evanstonian weekend. While packing up our things at the beach, Jeff and I remarked how this was a large part of the reason we decided to move back in the first place. It’s very family-friendly, everything is easy to get to and the beach is a quick drive (or a long walk) away.
This time last year, last-minute changes in plans with the baby would have thrown me into a tizzy. I’m happy to report nearly two years into this parenting game that I’ve become much better at pivoting in the moment and letting go of guilt about things like Happy Meals.
As Violet was running around laughing with her kid-sized french fries, I told myself as an affirmation of sorts, “She is loved. She is safe. She is fed.” And that’s all that matters. Giving her a Happy Meal does not make me a bad mom.
Letting your child watch Bluey for the millionth time while you take a break to make (and possibly drink!) some coffee does not make you a bad mom. Locking yourself in the bathroom to eat a snack in peace does not make you a bad mom (and apologies to my mom for barging in on her as a kid, I get it now). Missing your kid while they’re at school and then counting down the minutes until they go to sleep does not make you a bad mom.
As I wrote in my latest article for Fortune, parenting is a LOT. Like, a lot a lot. So take your wins where you can get them, and try not to put so much pressure on yourself to get it perfect. Because perfect and parenting don’t go together. Trust me, I’ve been learning this the hard way, but now I’m trying to be more gentle with myself. 12/10 would recommend.
Links I Love
30 Black Women Share What It’s Like to Have Uterine Fibroids (allure)
Who Will Stand Up for the Braiders? (Harper’s Bazaar)
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See You on (Book) Tour!
Below is a list of book events so far, more to come!
Monday, Aug. 14: Cafe con Libros in Brooklyn, NY
Wednesday, Aug. 16
Thursday, Aug. 17: Ama La Vida (virtual) (register here!)
Thursday, Aug. 17: Women & Children First in Chicago, IL (register here!)
Friday, Aug. 18: Lululemon in Chicago, IL
Thursday, Aug. 24: Evanston Public Library in Evanston, ILD (register here!)
Sept. 15: Barbara’s Bookstore in Lombard, IL (register here!)
Thank You
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I definitely miss him during the day and also sometimes count down the minutes until he is asleep lol.
“She is loved. She is safe. She is fed.” Putting this on repeat as my two year old dances around my messy living room dripping watermelon and watching Sesame Street. Thanks for the reset.