defining my personal (postpartum) style

aka how I'm learning to feel good in the clothes I wear

#WednesdayWisdom

“don’t minimize your special. don’t neglect your joy. don’t shortchange your magic.” ~ Joél Leon

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Morning Musings

Amid an ongoing global pandemic, pregnancy and now learning to navigate a postpartum body, I’d decided I unequivocally hate everything in my closet and/or it no longer fits. Last year I spent most of the time in my maternity bike shorts or leggings (both from STORQ, they feel like butter!), so I didn’t pay attention to or have much use for real clothes.

But now that we’re back in Chicago and I’m actually venturing into The Out with my friends or an occasional date night with husbae, I find myself questioning (sometimes for weeks) what to wear or worse, dreading whatever ensemble I’m able to scrounge together.

After it took me longer than I care to admit to finally find a dress for my 35th birthday party last year, I decided 2023 would be the year I revamp my closet and finally develop my personal style. I’ve never been much of a fashionista, which comes as a surprise to many people because I am married to a rather fashionable man.

I find clothing to be a means to an end. I favor function over fashion. I am frugal by nature—so spending hundreds of hard-earned U.S. dollars on a pair of sneakers or designer bags has never been my jam.

Admittedly I kinda hate shopping for clothes for a while. I despised the Mama-emblazoned sweatshirts in maternity sections and then the fugly nursing tops with those weird shelves on the top (IYKYK). I found shopping for a swimsuit that made me feel less self-conscious about my newly formed FUPA virtually impossible. And jeans that comfortably fit these hips without leaving a big-ass gap in the back? Fuhgeddaboudit!

ltinthecity

A post shared by L'Oreal Thompson Payton (@ltinthecity)

Until I found these shorts on sale at Good American. Yes, yes I know. I was skeptical about the Kardashian brand as well, but damn do they make some good jeans. And, as I learned in Essence, it’s co-owned by Emma Grede, a Black British woman, so that made me feel a little better. But anyway, back to these shorts.

These shorts made me feel (and look?) like Beyoncé at Coachella. During a summer vacation, I paired them with this lime green one-piece bathing suit from Old Navy before a quick jaunt to the beach and immediately loved how I looked. I’ve been chasing that feeling forever.

When I met with Maya and Jennifer of Cool Girls Wanting for my first closet consultation earlier this year, I told them I want to feel like how that outfit made me feel in every outfit I wear. Since working with them to edit my closet and also Lakyn Carlton of

True Style

to style me for my author headshots (!), I’ve decided to define my personal style as bold, bright and colorful.

I’ve spent (wasted?) a lot of time toning myself down, opting for the safe choice, trying to blend in—2023 is the year that I stand out, starting with my wardrobe. Because when you look good, you can’t help but feel good and dammit, I deserve to feel GOODT!

How would you describe your personal style? Let me know in the comments!

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Upcoming Events

• Jan. 25: I’ll be discussing my article about Black women and the glass cliff at Colorful Connections Brave Lil’ Convo series. Use the promo code NEWCONNECTION to register for free!

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ICMYI

I loved talking to Black women about what it means to live a soft life in my latest for Fortune.

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Links I Love

1. Why You Should Create a Style Mood Board in 2023 (Refinery 29)

2. How Flowers Became a Powerful Symbol in Times of Resistance (Allure)

3. A Guide to Doing Nothing for People Who Are Really Bad at It (SELF)

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Now Hiring

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5. Assistant Copy Editor for Mother Jones

6. Vice President, Innovative Partnerships for Health Equity for Feeding America

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8. Senior Communications Manager for Partnership For College Completion

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My Latest Obsession

As soon as Prince Harry announced his memoir, Spare, I knew I’d have to download the audiobook (thank you, Jeff, for sacrificing your Audible credit)! I’m about two hours in so far and it’s like listening to a British soap opera. I’m always here for a good tell-all and yes, the accent does make it even better. Spill ALLL of the tea, Harry!

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Thank You

A special thank-you to Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja and Jessica for becoming paid subscribers and fueling this newsletter. I appreciate your support!

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