introducing my new mom mantra
because some days are better than others
#WednesdayWisdom
“Whoever needs a fresh start, may you take it now.” ~ Lalah Delia
Morning Musings
After two weeks in Ohio, it felt like we were catapulted back into our daily routine on Monday—and it wasn’t without its mishaps. The potstickers and veggie fried rice I thought were in the freezer were not, so we ended up giving Violet Greek yogurt for dinner. Meanwhile, the adults had old fashioneds and popcorn (keeping it classy, what can I say?).
And then Monday morning we were literally running out the door to make it to V’s two-year appointment on time. Spoiler alert: despite calling to inform them we were running behind and arriving 14 minutes into the 15-minute grace period, we had to reschedule for Tuesday morning.
Which meant I had the privilege of wrangling V into her Elmo costume ahead of daycare because of course it was Halloween and it’s also Spirit Week. And did I mention it snowed yesterday and I forgot to bring her mittens for trick-or-treating? Because it’s Chicago, so of course it snows on Halloween (Maryland would never!).
All I could do was laugh. Monday afternoon I saw a very timely newsletter from Big Little Feelings, a popular Instagram parenting account, about a helpful mantra as we head into the frantic holiday season: “I do what I can. I let the rest go.” Or, as my brain transposed it, “I did my best. I let go of the rest” (because I like rhyming). And I smiled because that’s exactly what I’d been subconsciously doing the last couple of days…2021 L’Oreal would never!
A year ago these little snafus would’ve rattled me to my core. I would’ve cried myself to sleep because I felt like I was a Bad Mom. Fast forward to present day and (thanks in large part to finding a new therapist who specializes in postpartum depression/anxiety and infertility), I’m able to extend myself grace more often than not.
I’m not going to lie, I was close to crying on Monday at the doctor’s office. What kind of mom is late for their child’s doctor’s appointment?, was my initial thought. But we were tired. We’d just driven six-plus hours from Ohio to Chicago. Our bodies clearly needed the rest.
But instead of beating myself up about it, we simply rescheduled for the following day, took Violet to daycare, treated ourselves to a day date at a coffee shop we’d never been to before and went about our day.
So be easy on yourself this season (and forever?), whether you’re a parent or not. You did what you could. Let the rest go.
Best of Chicago Nominations
Thank you so much to everyone who’s nominated me for Best of Chicago 2023 Awards! If you haven’t yet, there’s one week left. Scroll to the Best of Arts & Culture section and nominate me for Best Nonfiction Writer and my book, Stop Waiting for Perfect, for Best New Nonfiction Book by a Chicagoan. And if you’re feeling extra generous, tell your friends to do the same. Nominations close on Nov. 7.
The Practice Session
I’m so excited to be joining my writer friend GG Renee Hill for a guided journaling session. In this 90-minute workshop, we’ll write letters to our inner critics and learn self-compassion exercises to use when negative self-talk inevitably tries to get in the way.
LinkedIn Live with The Mom Project
I’m joining The Mom Project on Nov. 9 for a candid conversation about my book, navigating obstacles in our career and personal life, as well as motherhood, career ambitions, and everything in-between.
Want to grab a copy of the book ahead of our event? Use code themomproject for 30% off here.
Links I Love
Why is Everyone So Mad at Jada Pinkett Smith? (The Washington Post)
How Martyr-Based Motherhood Harms Black Mamas And Our Communities (Essence)
With Everything Going On (The Ann Friedman Weekly)
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Stop Waiting for Perfect is Out Now!
Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina and Abigail for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support!
Listen, it didn't snow here in MD last night but there were two flakes in the rain this morning 😂🥶.
“You did what you could. Let the rest go.” -- trying for this reframe so hard!