introducing...my official #MomCut!
it's time for a change
#WednesdayWisdom
“Note to self: Be clear and honest about what you want and need. Stop shrinking to keep the peace. Stop silencing your voice to steady the boat. Speak up. Stand tall.” ~ Alex Elle
Morning Musings
Five years ago, I did the Big Chop. For those of you who aren’t familiar, the Big Chop is when you cut off your relaxed hair and go natural. I had a bit of a head start due to an accidental pixie cut, but when I decided to transition to wearing my natural hair back in 2018 I had a LOT to learn regarding my curl pattern, texture and products, etc. A friend recommended getting a curly cut and I scheduled my cut for Feb. 15, 2019.
Like many Black women around my age, I’d never known a life without a relaxer and before that, it was the hot comb. In between? A mix of cornrows and box braids. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. I had no idea what my natural hair looked like until I emerged from the salon with my TWA (teeny weeny afro). And that’s basically how I’ve worn it (with the exception of some version of a protective style) ever since. Until now.
I was overdue for my biannual trim when one of the moms in my Black Moms Chat raved about a curly stylist she’d recently visited. She was pleased with the results and highly recommended the stylist. So another mom went and had the same experience. So obviously I had to go…and I was not disappointed.
I’d been toying with the idea of getting a tapered cut because I wanted something new. Also, less hair to wash, detangle, condition and style meant more time for everything else (including doing my daughter’s hair, who inherited my same thick hair and kinky coils). I was ready for my #MomCut.
And because I’m a visual person (and I have slight PTSD from haircuts and color gone wrong in years past), I started a Pinterest board with inspiration. I sent pictures to the salon ahead of my appointment, and when it came time for the Big Day I pretty much put my fate (I mean, my hair) in Starr’s hands and I was pleasantly surprised. I’d never seen my curls like this before.
Better yet, Starr took her time explaining to me what she was doing and how to care for my hair at home (as it turns out, my texture would benefit more from quarterly trims rather than the biannual ones I’d been getting and my hair is not well-suited for that #PineappleLife). I attempted to recreate the style on my own yesterday and may become a wash & go girly after all!
I remember my grandmother chiding me about getting my hair cut when I was younger. For some reason, there’s an obsession with length when it comes to Black hair (look no further than the online debate surrounding Beyoncé’s wash day routine for proof). And while length was definitely a goal for some time, I’m more focused on having healthy hair that is easy for me to manage with the limited time and energy I have these days (hello, toddler era).
Plus, the more educated I am on how to care for my hair, the more I can confidently care for Violet’s. Sure, she may grow up and decide she wants a relaxer or to wear her hair straight. But my hope and prayer is that she will come to love and appreciate her hair as it grows out of her head. And who better to model that self-love than me? 💜
Upcoming Events
(TODAY) April 24: Finding Joy in Parenting, Amidst the Advice. Join me and tapouts for this free virtual, live meetup to chat about navigating parenting advice, managing screen time, and embracing the imperfections of parenthood with support and understanding.
(TOMORROW) April 25: The Power Pivot: Motherhood, Career and Life As We Know It. Join The Society of Working Moms for a discussion on pivoting—in work life and in personal life, planned and unplanned—and finding inspiration in the redirection. Tickets are $25, but I’m giving away THREE free tickets to the first three people to reply to this newsletter and tell me about a pivot in your life!
April 27: Nurturing Nest: A Daytreat for Chicago Moms. I’m teaming up with my good friend Nia Ellis to provide a relaxing afternoon to Chicago-area moms (whether you’re trying to conceive, newly postpartum or many years postpartum). Join us for a restorative yoga practice led by Nia; meditation led by yours truly; and a soothing sound bath by Candyce Jones. Use the promo code LOREAL5 to save $5 on your ticket!
April 30: Soulful Expressions: Yoga & Poetry Fusion for Black Women's Wellness. I love collaborating with my friends to bring you all fun festivities, so I’m excited to partner with Sista Afya and my friend Pam R. Johnson Davis to deliver what promises to be a soulful and restorative evening in honor of National Black Women’s History Month and National Poetry month. It’s going to be a night to remember (it’s virtual and it’s FREE!).
Links I Love
Mari Copeny Is More Than Little Miss Flint: An Activist Grows Up (Teen Vogue)
‘They Tried To Erase Us.' Taking Up Space As A Black Cowgirl In LA (LAist)
‘We Are The Culture’ Explores The History And Magic Of Black Chicago (Block Club Chicago)
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Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly and Jessica for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜
It looks amazing and suits you so well! I’m currently on the tapouts webinar, and it looks stunning on camera. 😍
Gorgeous. That side part is giving!!!