my holiday travel self-care kit

because sometimes you're not in your own home for the holidays

#WednesdayWisdom

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from cares which will not withdraw from us.” ~ Maya Angelou

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Morning Musings

Photo by Tessa Rampersad on Unsplash

There’s no denying this is a stressful time of year for a multitude of reasons and traveling certainly doesn’t make it easier. I’m a creature of habit and anything that is not part of my routine throws me off.

Over the years—and especially since becoming a mom—I’ve come to appreciate the importance of keeping some semblance of my routine (and, thereby, my sanity) while traveling. Sure, I may not be able to ride my Peloton (and let’s be honest, I haven’t taken a ride in months), but I can do a 15-minute standing yoga class. It’s called adapting, people. Although admittedly adapting is a soft skill I’m very much still working on.

With that in mind, I worked with my therapist to develop a holiday self-car survival kit, though it can (and should!) be used any time of year and during any kind of travel. Here is what I need to feel like my best self when I’m away from home:

Mornings to myself

Now this is also a tricky one with a toddler. But after my husband and I have gotten her up and ready for the day, nine times out of 10 I can hand her off to him or another family member to feed her breakfast or keep her otherwise occupied while I get myself and my mental health together. At home, this total routine can take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour, but when traveling I usually keep it to 20-30 minutes. Here’s what it entails:

• Journaling: Either my gratitude journal and/or regular journal for general thoughts/feelings, etc.

• Prayer and devotional reading: I’m usually reading two to three plans on the Bible app and I keep track of my prayer list there as well.

• Meditation: I’m a big fan of Insight Timer (it’s free!) and I love finding a guided meditation to match my mood. Here are a few of my favorites.

• Movement: Because I won’t have my bike or my weights, I plan on packing my yoga mat and doing some gentle morning flows with Chelsea on the Peloton app.

Emotional Support Snacks

I’m a snacks girl. I love snacks. So does my daughter. Having ample snacks on hand will be crucial to everyone making it to our destination without a meltdown. For her, that means goldfish, graham crackers and those Once Upon a Farm smoothies. For me, that looks like the sea salt brownie bites from Trader Joe’s, almonds, apples and popcorn. Plenty of popcorn. And can’t forget my Owala water bottle.

Books on Books on Books

In the Before Times, I could easily plow through two to three books during a weeklong trip. However, nowadays I’m happy to finish one to two books in a month. I’ve become a lot more malleable in my book reading since becoming a mom, so it’s not uncommon for me to have a paperback, audiobook and Kindle on me at any given time.

A Half Day at a Coffee Shop

Listen, I love my daughter dearly and I am simply not wired to spend all day every day together. There is a reason she’s in daycare, y’all. It’s good for BOTH of us! Next week I plan on escaping to a local coffee shop to do some brainstorming and business planning for next year. I’m thinking of it as a mini business retreat (and if you have any suggestions for content and events, etc. you’d like to see from me in 2024, please reply and let me know! I plan on having a more formal survey of sorts at the top of the year, but I love a good head start).

The most important takeaway from my therapy session was to let go of guilt going into the holidays and give myself permission to take time for myself. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup and I’m willing to bet a lot of us are doing our fair share of pouring right now. If you can, be sure to carve out some time to pour into yourself. Your mental health will thank you.

What’s in your holiday self-care survival kit? Let me know in the comments!

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My Latest Advice Column

Dear L'Oreal,

My kid always wants to "help" (aka spill flour, make a mess of my Pinterest perfection!). Do I have to let him?

Signed,

— Desperate in Dallas

I feel you. ’Tis the season for picture-perfect holiday cards with matching outfits, stunning sugar cookies and Pinterest-worthy wrapping paper — except that’s not real life. I hate to burst your bubble, but perfection and parenting do not go together, mama. Never have, never will. I know you worked really hard to find the recipe, get the ingredients and measure everything super-carefully for your company holiday party and now, thanks to your overzealous tot, everything is ruined. I get it.

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Thank you so much to everyone who’s voted for me so far! Help me add award-winning writer to my bio by voting for me in the best nonfiction writer and best new nonfiction book categories. You can find both categories in the Arts & Culture section. Voting ends Jan. 14. Thank you in advance for your support!

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Links I Love

• Keke Palmer Knows She’s an Asset (ELLE): I stan Ms. Keke Palmer for many reasons. After all, she’s a motha AND she’s about her business. A woman after my own heart.

• fonts + cassettes + a Black woman's Christmas (Shine Bright HQ): If you are also traveling for the holidays (and love #BlackGirlMagic Christmas music), then this newsletter/playlist by

  Danyel Smith
  is for you.

• 8 Books on the Complexities of Motherhood (Shondaland): Because let’s be real, not every day of parenting is rainbows and roses (actually, I would argue most days aren’t, but when it’s good? It’s so, so good).

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Stop Waiting for Perfect Makes the Perfect Gift!

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Thank You

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