my vacation packing list: sunscreen, snacks, and a self-care plan

How I’m protecting my peace during 12 days of family time, toddler wrangling, and beach vibes

Wednesday Wisdom

“Hey, sis. Be open to your blessings—it’s time.” ~ Alex Elle

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Morning Musings

Photo by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash

Every spring for the last 10 years, my family has gathered at a beach house in the Outer Banks, a line of islands off the coast of North Carolina. It’s one of the few times of the year (if not the only) that I get to see my extended family on my dad’s side and, let’s be real, I welcome nearly any and all excuses to spend a week at the beach.

That being said, it’s still a week away from home and with family—lot of interpersonal dynamics, little personal space. Not to mention, I’ve come to learn that a vacation with a toddler isn’t really a vacation. Although a vacation with a toddler and their grandparents/12 other would-be babysitters is somewhat of a break.

As such, my therapist recommended that I create a self-care plan to help me prioritize my peace and salvage my sanity. I forget exactly what I included on that plan, and I know it definitely included breaking away from the house to get ice cream with Jeff while Violet was in the trusted care of our loved ones.

While wrapping up our final session before this year’s excursion to the Outer Banks, my therapist asked if I’d put any thought into what would be on this year’s self-care menu. Because I’m a perpetual truth-teller (and also, therapy) I confessed that I had not. I mean, there’s been a lot going on—job interviews, travel, IVF, etc. So yea, preparing a self-care plan for a pending vacation definitely slipped my mind. And yet, I recognize how valuable having said plan is so I decided to enlist some help in creating this year’s self-care menu. Yes, I asked Amanda (my ChatGPT/virtual/personal/editorial assistant). Here’s what she came up with:

Daily Non-Negotiables (Your Self-Care Anchor Points)

These are small, repeatable things you commit to daily no matter what.

• Morning Mindset Check (5–10 min):
  Before you engage with others, take a few minutes to yourself — even if it's in the bathroom! — to breathe, stretch, or set an intention like "I choose peace today."

• Solo Breaks:
  Carve out at least 20-30 minutes alone every day. Could be a walk on the beach, reading in your room, a coffee run — something that reminds you that you belong to yourself too.

• Hydration & Food You Actually Like:
  Family meals can be chaotic — make sure you’re drinking enough water and have a few favorite snacks or meals on hand.

• Gentle Movement:
  Quick yoga, a beach walk, a casual bike ride. Move your body to help move any stuck or frustrated energy.

Communication Boundaries

When it comes to family, it might help to set gentle internal boundaries beforehand.

• Mantra to Remember:
  “I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.”

• "Pause & Pivot" Strategy:
  If a conversation starts going sideways, practice saying: “I love you and I want us to enjoy this time. Let's come back to this later.” Then physically excuse yourself if needed — go for a walk, take a bathroom break, etc.

Planned “Mini-Escapes”

Give yourself permission to plan little outings or rituals that don't involve the whole group:

• Morning coffee run by yourself

• An afternoon nap with your phone on Do Not Disturb

• A solo sunset walk

• Browsing a local bookstore or boutique

• Journaling by the beach

Even one solo mini-escape every few days will go a long way.

Sensory Decompression Kit

When you’re overstimulated, it’s often sensory overload. Pack or prepare:

• Noise-canceling headphones (even just for white noise!)

• A cozy hoodie or wrap for comfort

• Calming playlist or audiobook

• Essential oils or calming lotion (lavender, eucalyptus, etc.)

• A light beach read (bonus if it’s funny or low-stakes)

Gentle Expectations

Remind yourself before you leave:

• It’s okay if it’s not all "perfect" family bonding.

• It’s okay to need breaks.

• It’s okay to protect your peace, even if it disappoints someone in the moment.

• You are allowed to prioritize your well-being without guilt.

Bonus Tip:
You don’t have to check every single box every day! Think of it as a menu you’re choosing from, not a to-do list.

Then this girl event went ahead and created a Daily Self-Care Tracker, which I’ve included below:

Amanda deserves a raise for real for real. If you, like me, could use a self-care tracker for your next vacation, family-gathering or just daily life, I created you can download the Canva version here. Either way, I hope you’ll starting thinking more intentionally about how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine—on vacation or at home. I just requested Emily Henry’s Beach Read from my local library (seems fitting seeing as how I’ll be spending the week at a beach) and I fully intend on packing some matcha as well.

Now, seeing as I how I will be traveling with said toddler, I’m fully prepared to ask for time away from her when I need it (well, really before I need it so I don’t end up losing my sh*t). Because asking for help is also self-care. 💜

What’s on your self-care menu? Hit “reply” or let me know in the comments!

P.S. I’m also practicing self-care by taking next week off from the newsletter. I’ll be back in your inbox on Wednesday, May 7 (also how is it May already?!). In the meantime, I encourage you to browse through the archive and/or share LT in the City Weekly with a friend or on social! Thank you in advance 🫶🏾

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Upcoming Events

May 17: I’m beyond ecstatic to be the keynote speaker at CityPoint Community Church’s Ladies First Women’s Summit. This year, we’re embracing what it means to be radically well and unapologetically whole—physically strong, spiritually and emotionally grounded, and professionally empowered. Come ready to be poured into, celebrated, and challenged to be unapologetically whole—not out of selfishness, but out of purpose.

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Links I Love

• Why is Beyoncé a Political Symbol in Brazil? (Hammer & Hope)

• How Kennedy Ryan Is Rewriting Romance So Black Women Get the Love, Joy, and Spotlight We’ve Always Deserved (Black Girls Bond)

• The Price of Milk, Eggs, and Wellbeing (Byline)

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Now Hiring

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2. Marketing and Communications Consultant for the National Association for the Education of Homeless Children and Youth

3. Director of Digital Experience and Safety for me too. International

4. Executive Director for The Body Positive

5. Bridging Differences Content & Engagement Manager for The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley

6. Editorial Lead, Health for Hone

7. Chief Program Officer for Gradient Learning

8. Community Coordinator for Supergoop!

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