permission to take up space (and take your time)
the life-changing magic of a yoga/writing retreat
#WednesdayWisdom
“Once you make peace with your inner voice, quell the self-deprecation, learn to speak kindly to yourself, learn to love on yourself better than anyone else ever could, you protect that shit. You protect it like your life depends on it. Because it absolutely does.” ~ Ashley Simpo
Morning Musings
I promise not every newsletter is going to be about the transformative yoga/writing retreat I recently went on, but I have to share the following anecdote in hopes that’ll inspire you to give yourself permission to take up space and take your time.
If you read my ZORA piece about going on my first writing retreat for women of color, then you already know my experience at predominately white fitness studios (and being asked to move my mat despite being there earlier than my Caucasian counterpart). That was not the case at my first retreat with Octavia Raheem, nor has it happened during the ones I’ve attended since.
Rather, we are encouraged to take up space—both literally and figuratively. In one of my first yoga sessions with Octavia, she gave us permission to do whatever we needed to do to get comfortable for savasana, our final resting pose. I was feeling a little chilly, but I didn’t want to be disruptive. But then she said, “if you need to put on your socks, put on your socks.” So…I put on my socks. That simple sentence changed my yoga practice forever for the better and I now encourage students to do the same in my yoga sessions.
In the prep call for this most recent retreat, Octavia reminded us to do whatever we needed to get “1% more comfortable.” For me, that meant turning my camera off because I was at a coffee shop at the time.
During the actual retreat, she invited us to retrieve whatever we needed to make ourselves comfortable for our first restorative session of the day. Even if that meant going back to our cabins, which were about a three- to five-minute walk from the main room where we were meeting.
I paused to consider my next steps. I had just attempted maneuvering my blanket into a makeshift eye mask. But what I really wanted was the lavender-scented eye pillow that was in our welcome bags, which was sitting on my nightstand. So, along with another journalist friend, we got up, walked back to our respective rooms and got our eye pillows. I made sure to grab my bonnet, too! #BlackGirlProblems
I returned to find everyone else resting and quickly resumed making my “rest nest” so that I could partake in the rest of the practice. I emerged about an hour later rested, relaxed and rejuvenated—and also hella cozy because I made the decision to put my comfort and my needs first, which is something I could stand to do a little more often in my everyday life.
After all, we’ve heard time and time again that self-care is not selfish; however, it’s not always easy for women, Black women, women of color, moms, caregivers, etc. to find that time. Instead, we have to take it and claim it for ourselves unapologetically. And when you do, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of taking up space and taking up time.
As Octavia often says during our rest sessions, “you have all the time in the world.” So go get your eye pillow and your bonnet, whatever you need to fully relax into the next moment you have for yourself. You have permission. It’s always been inside of you.
Upcoming Events
May 20: Yoga for Fertility Community Class. I’m joining forces with Fertility for Colored Girls for a special class centered around women of color.
May 30: Join me for WIN Summit 2024: The Power To, presented by Walmart Connect, for a day of learning and inspiration on Thursday, May 30th in New York City. Discover new ways to harness your unique strengths, elevate your skills, leverage your value, and better advocate for both yourself and your company. Save 20% with the code LTP20.
June 4: Author Chat with The Society of Working Moms. I’m joining SWM’s virtual book club to talk about the myth of perfection — in work and in motherhood — and any other questions attendees may have!
June 6: Yoga for Fertility Series. Starting next month I’ll be teaching out of Pulling Down the Moon’s Highland Park location. Practice a sequence of poses that are supportive of your fertility journey and safe during any part of the fertility cycle, including during IVF cycles. All levels are welcome.
Links I Love
Sheryl Lee Ralph & Ivy Coco Maurice on Their Mother-Daughter and Actor-Stylist Relationship (Teen Vogue)
Author R.O. Kwon Stays Up Until Dawn (The Cut)
Invisible Women: On the Victorian Custom of Cutting Mothers Out of Portraits (Literary Hub)
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Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly and Jessica for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜
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