returning to the mountain
Me to me: you've come a long way, my friend
#WednesdayWisdom
“Let’s start by stopping.” ~ Octavia Raheem
Morning Musings
The first time I sat in a circle of Black and brown women atop Bald Mountain in 2018, I was in awe. Before then, the majority of the yoga classes I’d been to were full of thin white women. This was different. This was heaven sent.
From the moment we took that first collective inhale and audible exhale, I knew that I had landed. After a two-hour flight and a 90-minute drive, I’d made it to the mountain top. Among my people. Among other Black and brown women. Among other tired bodies desperately seeking rest. And, oh, how I found it.
I wrote about my experience at my first yoga retreat here and enjoyed it so much, I convinced my friend and fellow yogi Sierra to join me the following year. We were set to return in fall 2020 and, well, you know what happened next.
So when Octavia Raheem announced her newest retreat offering, Rest Revelations: A Rest & Write Retreat for Black, Indigenous, Writers of Color, I knew I had to be there. I immediately signed up for the eight-month payment plan and trusted that finances would come.
Going into the retreat, I had grand plans to work on my infertility memoir. But as the weekend drew closer, I decided to scale back my ambitions and commit to finalizing the timeline for said memoir. That seemed more doable.
I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, as the itinerary isn’t shared in advance, but I knew atop that mountain is where I needed to be. After landing in Atlanta and carpooling with other attendees to the retreat center, I kept hearing a mantra: “Return to the mountain. Return to the mountain.”
It was on this mountain in 2018 that I confessed to the circle (and myself) my desire to become a mom. I forget exactly what the prompt was, but I know I’d intended to share something more “professional,” probably about the book proposal I was working on that time, which eventually became Stop Waiting for Perfect.
Instead, when the talking stick reached me, I blurted, “I want to become a mom” and rushed to clap my hand over my mouth because where had that come from? Who said that? And then, of course, I cried.
This time, I was prepared. We’d been invited to bring a piece of writing we’d like to share during the retreat. At first, I was going to share a poem I’d written about my father-in-law shortly after his passing. Then, it was a poem I’d written during the retreat. But once again, that stick was in my hands and I ended up sharing something completely different.
I reflected on how the first time I held the stick, I shared my wish for motherhood and how I had no idea the arduous infertility journey we would endure. It was not lost on me that this year, I returned to the mountain as a mom, a published author, a full-time freelance writer and a certified yoga teacher. Indeed, I’m not that same 30-year-old who first arrived on the mountain the fall of 2018.
As I held the stick this time around, I reflected on a question Tracee Stanley asked before our yoga nidra session during the 2019 retreat: “Who taught you how to rest?” It’s a question I’ve returned to often. The truth is I didn’t really have a rest role model growing up. Instead, I observed Black women such as Octavia, Tracee, Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts and Tricia Hersey. These women taught me how to rest.
Before I passed the stick on to the next person, I said my hope, my prayer is that if/when Violet ever finds herself at a similar retreat and someone asks her the same question, she’ll have a ready response. She’ll say, “My mom.” 💜
Upcoming Events
May 20: Yoga for Fertility Community Class. I’m joining forces with Fertility for Colored Girls for a special class centered around women of color.
May 30: Join me for WIN Summit 2024: The Power To, presented by Walmart Connect, for a day of learning and inspiration on Thursday, May 30th in New York City. Discover new ways to harness your unique strengths, elevate your skills, leverage your value, and better advocate for both yourself and your company. Save 20% with the code LTP20.
June 6: Yoga for Fertility Series. Starting next month I’ll be teaching out of Pulling Down the Moon’s Highland Park location. Practice a sequence of poses that are supportive of your fertility journey and safe during any part of the fertility cycle, including during IVF cycles. All levels are welcome.
Links I Love
Let’s All Take a Deep Breath About Who to Celebrate on Mother’s Day (Expectful)
We know, it’s lonely at work. Here’s how you can feel more connected in just 10 minutes a day (Fortune Well)
How Infertility Awareness Has Changed Pregnancy Announcement Culture (Rescripted)
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Octavia Raheem’s messages are gloriously sweet reminders of the importance of rest. 💜