same song, different tune

aka why Beyoncé deserves AOTY

#WednesdayWisdom

“i hope you remember that you’re worth more and that they know it. they just hope you never find out. that’s why we heal. to remember who we really are.” ~ Yasmine Cheyenne

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Morning Musings

Watching Beyoncé lose Album of the Year to Harry Styles on Sunday was upsetting to me for a number of reasons. For starters, Renaissance was THEE album of the year (perhaps the decade?) for multiple reasons. Secondly, I’ve been Hive since Day One (and honestly before Day One, I’m talking back during the Destiny’s Child days, before there even was a BeyHive).

And lastly, but perhaps most of all, because Beyoncé’s loss—despite breaking the record earlier that evening for the most Grammy wins EVER—was a microcosm of what Black women face in this country day in and day out. This tweet said it best:

ada enechi @adaenechi

Beyoncé represents every Black woman that is constantly applauded for their work but when it comes to promotion time their white colleague gets it instead

Followed by this one:

Daric L. Cottingham, M.A. @DaricCott

Bey is such a humble & great sport; love her for it. So I’ll say it, as Black folks specifically Black women there’s a societal notion to give just enough flowers because they won’t give you the full bouquet. She a broke a record tonight for most #GRAMMYs wins. But still no AOTY.

On the one hand, in a weird twisted way, it’s reassuring to know I’m in good company. As someone who has also been overlooked despite surpassing goals. As someone who has received a few flowers, but certainly not the full bouquet in certain circles. Author and entrepreneur Tiffany Dufu said it much more eloquently than I’m able to in the caption for this Instagram post:

tdufu

A post shared by Tiffany Dufu (@tdufu)

“The challenge is that even in the midst of unprecedented achievement - whether it’s beating your sales target, being one of the rare Black women founders who has raised venture capital, graduating at the top of your class or winning the most Grammy awards in music history - sometimes our work is still not valued by decision makers.”

I feel that on a spiritual level. And I know I’m not the only one. To top it all off, Styles made a point to say that things like this don’t happen to “people like him.” I’m still not 100% sure what he meant by that, but I can say with certainty that these sort of things happen to mediocre white men (and women) all the time.

Yet somehow Queen Bey maintains big Michelle Obama energy by going high when the Grammys go low. But I, for one, am tired of Black women always having to take the higher road. Sometimes I want to go low right with them.

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Upcoming Events

• Feb. 18: Only a few tickets remain for my Galentine’s Day Pole Party at Fly Club in Chicago. (FYI: Paid subscribers receive a discount on ticketed events. You can upgrade your subscription here).

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ICMYI

I’ve got a couple of new podcast interviews since we last met. Last week, I kicked off Black History Month on the Randi Zuckerberg show and talked about what it means to be a #SoftBlackGirl as well as Stop Waiting for Perfect. And my interview with Ashley Coleman Thomas of Permission to Write is also out now. We talked about the publishing process, balancing writing and motherhood and much more!

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Links I Love

1. Why Everyone Feels Like They’re Faking It (The New Yorker)

2. Creating a Self-Care Toolkit Can Help You Combat Stress and Anxiety (Human Over Perfect)

3. Jenni Quilter on IVF, Nuclear Family Ideals, and Motherhood as an "Automatic-Meaning Machine" (

   In Pursuit of Clean Countertops
   )

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Now Hiring

1. Fashion Writer for The Washington Post

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3. Executive & Program Assistant for The Feminist Press

4. Director of Employer Engagement for National Louis University

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7. Chief Operating Officer for WNDR Global

8. Communications Manager for Magic Cabinet

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Preorder Stop Waiting for Perfect

My first book, Stop Waiting for Perfect, drops this summer! This book will force you to stop playing small and encourage you to fully step into your power and walk in your purpose. It will awaken the dreams you buried deep within your soul long ago because you thought they were impossible, unattainable—available to other people, but not you. Until now.

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Thank You

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