slow down, you're gonna crash (aka the saga of the burnt orange sofa)
a hard-won and $175 lesson on the benefits of slowing down
Wednesday Wisdom
“You can utilize compassion instead of criticism and you no longer destroy yourself over every single mistake, failure, and challenge.” ~
Morning Musings
A little more than a year ago, Violet became obsessed with the movie Cars, thanks to our downstairs neighbor and her good friend, Sidney. Even her third birthday party was Cars-themed (this year is looking more like Paw Patrol, but I digress).
And every day on our way to and from school, she would request “Lightning McQueen” song, also known as “Life Is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts. At some point, she started to request “Lightning McQueen” soundtrack, which *actually* meant the first song on the Cars soundtrack: “Real Gone” by Sheryl Crow. I have to admit, it’s a catchy little ditty and we even had a little inside joke where I’d point to her during the part where Sheryl sings, “You didn’t like the sound of that, now did you?”
While driving home from swim lessons last night, Violet requested “Lightning McQueen” soundtrack yet again and this time, the chorus stuck out to me:
Slow down, you're gonna crash
Baby, you were screaming, it's a blast, blast, blast
Look out, you've got your blinders on
Everybody's looking for a way
To get real gone
It’s a fitting song for the opening of the film, which depicts the main character, Lightning McQueen racing around the track. And, for anyone who’s watched the beloved Pixar movie, you know that Lightning is all too eager to bust free from Radiator Springs as fast as he can with little to no regard for those around him.
I never thought I’d have much in common with an animated car, but here we are. A few days before launching the crowdfunding campaign for Zora’s Place, I spotted the perfect burnt orange sofa on Facebook Marketplace. You may recall that I mentioned my dream of having such a couch in my recent newsletter about the bookstore.
Welp, like Lightning, I was moving a bit too fast for my own good. Or, in the words of Ariana Grande, “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” Without stopping to consult with my business partner (and husband, Jeff 🫣). Without a true plan as to how I would get said sofa from this frat guy’s apartment to the bookstore space. Without, well, slowing down to give any of it a second thought at all.
Then came the buyer’s remorse (and panicked texts to my #BlackGirlBizChat about how to request a refund on Venmo as I naively paid for the sofa before picking it up…group chats are a lifesaver, y’all). Even though I loved the sofa, I didn’t love what it represented. When Jeff got home, we had a long overdue heart-to-heart about the bookstore.
He’s always been the rational/logical one out of the two of us. And me? Well, not so much. I’m the creative. I’m the impulsive one. I’m the one who builds the plane while I’m flying it while Jeff prefers to have everything built out and thoroughly inspected beforehand. He’s the yin to my yang. We balance each other out and both of our perspectives are needed when building a business. We needed to find a way to meet each other in the middle.
I felt embarrassed, guilty and ashamed for acting so rashly. Thankfully, Jeff was forgiving and understanding. And then right on time, as she often is, my friend and fellow writer
swooped in with a journal prompt in her newsletter (aptly titled, Hey, More Kindness) that invited me to be kinder to myself. In it, she wrote:Write out a mistake you’ve made that stays on your mind. What did it honestly teach you about yourself? What did you learn about your needs through this experience? How can you show up for yourself even when you’ve done something wrong?
Naturally, The Saga of the Burnt Orange Sofa was top of mind. And what it (and my #BlackGirlBizChat) taught me is that scarcity mindset is a motherf*cker, one that often comes back to bite me in the ass.
Or as my friend and fellow yoga teacher Nia put it, “I’ve tried to remember that rushing and having a scarcity mindset and forced urgency only ever cost you more—whether it be anxiety on the backend, or trying to get your money back.” And then she went and led me in a mindfulness moment via voice note. That’s my girl, for real, y’all! The whole chat, honestly. Those are my ride-or-dies and I appreciate them for that.
But to answer Melissa’s prompt, this mistake taught me a hard-won and $175 lesson on slowing down. So, to make a long story short, I got my Venmo refund (yes! 🙌🏾) and Jeff and I have snice since proceeded to build this thing together. Zora’s Place is truly shaping up to be a family business and, tbh, I love that for us.
Zora’s Place Updates!
We are officially at 26% of our $25,000 goal! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who’s shared and donated so far. This is just enough for our initial inventory of books, but we still need furniture and fixtures, a POS system and much more. Please continue to spread the word so we can reach our goal before our Sept. 1 deadline.
Meet Me at The Writing Well 📝✨
If your writing goals have been collecting dust (no judgment, I see you), consider this your invitation to come exhale, reset, and write in community.
The Writing Well is my 6-week small group coaching experience for purpose-driven writers who are ready to get unstuck and into flow—with structure, support, and soul.
The first cohort kicks off August 1 and spots will be limited. Want to be the first to know when doors open? 👇🏾
Upcoming Events
July 12: The Aux Wellness Collective Open House. Join me and the other instructors and practicioners at The Aux Wellness Collective on Saturday during our open house. We’ll have demos of some of our group fitness classes, wellness workshops and pop-up vendors, including Zora’s Place. I’ll be leading storytime for the littles at 11:30, 12:30 and 1:30. No need to RSVP, just come through.
What I’m Reading
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I'm sitting at Uncle Bobbie's Coffee & Books in Philly and imagining the day I get to hang out at Zora's Place. It's certainly a reason to bring the kiddo cousins for a long overdue visit.
So excited about your shop!