#WednesdayWisdom
“You can rest, and everything that’s meant to happen for you is still gon happen for you.” ~ Keke Palmer
Morning Musings
In their 1999 single, “The Hardest Thing,” the 98 Degrees singers are crooning about the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do, which presumably is break up with a mistress. Meanwhile, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do (as far as book writing is concerned) is ask my peers, whom I respect and admire, to write nice things about my book.
Don’t get me wrong, writing the book itself was a feat. But somehow having to email authors and influencers I look up to and ask them to spend (unpaid) time and energy reading said book and then writing kind words about it made me feel like high school girl all over again—like they were the cool kids and I was a nerd (which, to be fair, I am a nerd, but still!).
Welcome to the wonderful world of blurbs.
Blurbs are essentially endorsements usually from fellow authors, oftentimes those with a much larger following than you. It can be quite the intimidating process for newbie authors like me and yet, this is also how things are done in traditional publishing.
As fellow Substack writer and debut author
so eloquently wrote in her newsletter, (fun fact: our books publish on the same day!): “Still, no one likes to ask for favors, and book promotion is plenty of favors, from blurbs to bookstore conversations. Throughout every nitty-gritty bit of this process, which at the micro level feels emotionally exhausting, bringing up old anxieties and new fears, I have to remind myself that on the macro level, this is glamorous shit, this is a dream coming true, this is something I’ve worked my ass off to do.”I couldn’t have said it better myself. I was nervous as hell sending out those “please read my book and say nice things” emails and relied heavily on my mentor-in-my-head Elayne Fluker’s advice to have “five seconds of courage.” Thankfully, I had some extremely kind and very generous authors, whom I eternally grateful to, say yes:
“Listen! If you were to buy a book based solely on the title, this would be it. Luckily, what's inside is just as good. Life is hard, but sometimes the way we talk to and about ourselves can be harder. So getting sound advice from someone who's not only going to remind you of your greatness but also help you get out of your own way is a joy. L'Oreal has a big heart, brains, and talent. This book is just the beginning for her and you. ”
—Phoebe Robinson, New York Times bestselling author, actor, and comedian
“An incomparable blueprint for any person, especially those among us who are marginalized, who want to get off the hamster wheel of perfection and reclaim their ability to be simply human. Let L’Oreal’s book serve as a brilliant and urgent reminder that we are already enough, regardless of what we’ve achieved.”
—Evette Dionne, award-winning author of Lifting as We Climb and Weightless
“With tongue-in-cheek charm and down-to-earth sense, L’Oreal Thompson Payton makes it easy to live life loud (or, at least, louder) and act with enthusiasm, courage, and trust in your own talent.”
—Minda Harts, workplace and equity consultant and author of The Memo
“For generations we’ve been fed the lie that being perfect—or close to it will save us. Stop Waiting for Perfect allows us to find practical ways to heal those wounds of deceit . . .So grateful that this book empowers us and our communities to let go of the trap of perfectionism and make room for our purpose.”
—Melissa Kimble, culture writer, producer, and founder of #blkcreatives
I can only hope that someday I’ll get to pay it forward to other upcoming writers! In the meantime, I hope you’ll preorder both my book, Stop Waiting for Perfect, and Alicia’s book, No Meat Required. And stay tuned for info on book tour dates, eek!
Introducing…#SoftGirlSummer!
This summer on the podcast I’m talking to some incredible women about what the soft life means to them (as inspired by this story I wrote for Fortune) and why Black women deserve rest. We’ve got an all-star lineup for you, including:
Oludara Adeeyo, mental health therapist and author of Self-Care for Black Women and Affirmations for Black Women: A Journal
Aisha Beau Frisbey, a digital content creator, speaker, and founder
of AishaBeau.com, an online destination highlighting all things self-care
Eva Maria Lewis, artist, activist and founder of Free Root Operation, a Chicago-based nonprofit that addresses the root causes of gun violence through wellness programming, cultural activations, and a method of critical care
ICYMI
I managed to talk my boss (thanks, Jennifer!) into letting me write about my favorite part of Ted Lasso: Rebecca and Keeley’s friendship. Check it out to learn more about how intergenerational friendships/mentorships can help you get ahead in work (and in life!). Also, if you’re a Ted Lasso fan, hit me up in the comments or reply to this email to let me know your thoughts!
Other recent stories I’ve written:
Upcoming Events
June 10 (POSTPONED): Daddy & Me Yoga Meetup. Be sure to follow our amazing yoga instructor, Nia, to learn more about her upcoming family yoga series. Stay tuned!
Links I Love
Is My Writing a Hobby Or a Career? (Equire)
How Summer Camp Became Such a Hot Mess for Parents (Bloomberg)
My Latest Obsession
I listened to Ohio native Rachel E. Cargle’s audiobook, A Renaissance of Our Own, interestingly enough while driving back from Ohio on Memorial Day. The book, which is broken down into six sections about reimagining relationships, work, education, rest, belief and power, has me considering what my own renaissance might look like. Highly recommend if you’re contemplating one as well.
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Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany and Emily for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support!
Loved Ted Lasso and truly am sad it's over now. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on Keely/Rebecca's friendship. :). They were some of my favorite characters and I always liked how they had a REAL friendship and not a typical "T.V. trope" friendship where they are friends but somehow also have to be competitive in everything with each other. Both women were amazing in their own rights and it was just nice to see what a healthy friendship looked like instead of a toxic one for a change. Plus could not get enough of Roy Kent. Also one of my favorite characters.😊