when knowing your worth costs you a client
on money, messaging, and the art of walking away
Wednesday Wisdom
“Hey, sis. You're not just healing for yourself—you're modeling what's possible for those bearing witness to you. Keep going.” ~ Alex Elle
Morning Musings
If you have any entrepreneurial and/or freelance friends (or you’ve been keeping up with this newsletter for the last month or so), then you already know times are hard. Granted, times are hard for EVERYONE these days, but something about the inconsistency of not having biweekly direct deposit hits different in this economy.
I say all that to say ya girl isn’t necessarily in the financial position to turn down projects and yet, here we are. Now, in my defense, I didn’t turn it down, per se. I did, however, advocate for a higher rate and, well, somehow managed to negotiate my way out of an assignment instead.
See, what had happened was…a very kind freelance/mom/journo friend of mine recommended me for a gig that she was unable to take on. That was back in April. Or was it March? 🤔
Either way, a good amount of time passed between the initial intro convo and actually getting an assignment. So much so that I’d applied for not one, but TWO full-time roles within that same company.
While interviewing for the manager role, the recruiter believed I was better suited for the director role. So I had a first interview with the hiring managers for the director role and…never heard back until I got my rejection letter last week.
Now mind you, another team at this company reached out to me about a couple of freelance assignments before I’d gotten the rejection. After ensuring accepting said assignment wouldn’t be considered a conflict of interest, we proceeded to discuss details of the project. I informed them I was leaving for vacation the next day, but would circle back once I was back online.
Welp, as it turned out the rate for this project was significantly lower than the rate that was quoted for the initial project back in March. Like, hundreds of dollars lower. As a personal rule of thumb, I typically only accept assignments that can cover a week of daycare, or roughly $500. This assignment wasn’t that, especially considering we’d agreed to $500 for the previous project that never came to fruition.
And that’s when it hit me: This project doesn’t align with my rate, my boundaries or my value. After hitting up a couple of freelance group chats and a tone check with Amanda (my ChatGPT), I landed on the following message:
It was such a pleasure meeting with you the other week and learning more about your upcoming content needs and goals! I appreciate you sending over the assignments and I’m excited to dig in.
Before I get started, I wanted to follow up quickly about the rate structure. Based on my initial conversation with [redacted] that had been scoped at $500/assignment, I was anticipating something more aligned with my editorial rate and experience, especially given the original discussions around content strategy and tone.
If I'm understanding correctly, the per-activity rate works out to around $100 for ~300 words, or ~$0.33/word. My standard editorial rate is $1/word, and I often go higher for healthcare content or short-form work requiring more strategy and brand voice alignment. Given the scope and my typical project minimums, I’d be comfortable proceeding at a base of $250–$300 per activity for now.
Would you be open to discussing a revised rate for this batch or for future assignments? I would love to collaborate, and I want to make sure the partnership feels mutually beneficial and sustainable.
And, instead of an offer to further negotiate, the client canceled the contract and removed future meetings. I should have been pissed, especially after taking a look at my bank account. But honestly? I felt relieved. I thanked the team for clarifying and left the door open for re-engaging in the future should their budget/needs shift. Then I kept it moving.
Yes, rejection stings and it’s par for the course when it comes to writing and freelancing. What I’ve learned throughout my career though is that rejection is redirection (I even wrote an entire chapter about it in my book, Stop Waiting for Perfect! You can read an excerpt here).
It’s easy to celebrate advocating for your worth when you land the client. Bit it’s harder—and dare I say, even more important—when it costs you something. This is the messy middle of setting boundaries that often goes unsaid. Sometimes you lose the gig, but keep your dignity. And I know in my heart of hearts that something bigger and better is on its way to me.
Every time I lower my rate to “just get the gig,” I lose more than money—I lose trust with myself.
Every time I shrink my ask, I signal to the universe that I’m willing to settle.
Every time I say yes when I really mean no, I stretch myself thin and call it gratitude.
We’re not doing that anymore.
So yes, I lost the client. But I kept my boundary. And I gained a little more self-trust in the process.
This is a reminder that setting a boundary isn’t the end of the story. It’s the beginning of your real alignment. If you needed a sign to raise your rates or set that boundary, this is it. And if you need some help doing that, keep reading…
3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Accept an Assignment
Does this rate align with my experience and expertise?
If the number feels low in your gut, that’s worth listening to. Remember, they’re not just paying for your words—they’re paying for your wisdom.Will this project energize me or drain me?
Money is one part of the equation. Time, energy, and alignment matter just as much. If you’re already dreading the revisions before the kickoff email is sent… whew. That’s data.Am I saying yes from a place of confidence or fear?
Are you accepting because you’re excited and aligned? Or because you’re afraid nothing better will come along? (Spoiler: something better will come along.)
Because yes, we all need to pay our bills. But that doesn’t mean undervaluing our brilliance along the way.
Want to learn more about setting your rates and getting paid what you’re worth? Join me on Wednesday, June 11 for Raise Your Rates!
This hourlong virtual workshop is designed for freelancers, entrepreneurs and creatives (especially women and BIPOC folks) who are done playing small and ready to price with confidence, clarity, and no apologies.
What We’ll Cover:
✔️ How to set your rate (without second-guessing or Googling "what do freelancers charge")
✔️ How to confidently respond when a client lowballs you
✔️ Real email scripts for negotiating, raising rates, and walking away gracefully
✔️ What to include in your freelance rate sheet
✔️ Affirmations for pricing anxiety and boundaries
✔️ A downloadable Rate-Setting Cheat Sheet to use again and again
Because you don’t need another pricing calculator. You need community, strategy and receipts. I got you, boo! 💜
Upcoming Events
June 28: Join me for the Chicago book launch of Judy McCutcheon’s book, Unfiltered and Unapologetic: A Woman’s Guide to Live, Love, and Lead with Boldness. I’ll be serving as the moderator for this event, which includes heavy hors D’oeuvres, beverages and authentic networking.
What I’m Reading/Watching/Listening To
📖 Beach Read by Emily Henry: As I told one of my daycare mom friends at swim lessons last week, I don’t usually read white romance novels (especially in a world where Jasmine Guillory and Kennedy Ryan exist). BUT…I was in the mood for a beach read while in Outer Banks, and so Beach Read seemed fitting. I have to admit I’m into it. Sue me.
📺 FOREVER. Like many women of age, I practically devoured Judy Blume’s timeless classic, Forever, as an adolescent. So you can imagine my delight when I learned that THEE Mara Brock Akil reimagined it for this day and age with a young Black couple to boot. Needless to say I’m seated and already praying for a second season.
🎧 COWBOY CARTER. Duh. Click the below pic for my concert recap.
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Thank you for sharing your story - and for these very helpful criteria to remember when evaluating what best suits us!
Standing ovation! Thanks for sharing this story and your excellent advice. We need it!