when "twice as good" shows up during a presidential debate

because Black women don't get to be mediocre

Morning Musings

As I’m writing this, Vice President Kamala Harris is completely OBLITERATING Cheeto Face in their first (and perhaps only?) presidential debate. And while it was entertaining (I mean, Black Twitter was on fire! The memes were aplenty!), it was also frustrating. Why?

Because it plays into the age-old trope that Black women know all too well: having to be twice as good to get half as much as our white counterparts. And let’s not even insult Harris by calling 45 her counterpart. He is not. He never will be. He is beneath her. Always will be.

I was undecided about watching the debate going into Tuesday night, but I love a good monoculture moment and honestly I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch history happen in real time. I decided I would watch and if it got to be too much (aka That Man spiked my anxiety too much), I would turn it off. But boy, am I glad I stayed.

Watching the debate in real time was watching exactly what I wrote about in my book, Stop Waiting for Perfect. Since the dawn of time, Black women have had to work twice as hard as our white counterparts to get half of the respect, pay and seniority. I’ve experienced it in my career and I’ve witnessed other Black women have to do the same. And as if that’s not enough, we have to do so graciously and eloquently, with a smile on our faces lest we become the dreaded “Angry Black Woman” (although we have PLENTY to be angry about!).

I mean, God-Is Rivera, said it best:

When my friend, mentor and former boss told me back in 2014 to “have the confidence of a mediocre white man,” I bet she couldn’t have predicted this. Of course, we saw also a glimpse of this play out during the 2016 presidential election. But something about watching a Black woman having to share a stage with this pitiful excuse of a human being hit different.

Black women do not get the luxury of being mediocre. We do not get to be incompetent. We do not get the benefit of the doubt. We do not get to be angry. We do not get to be messy. We can’t just show up with “concepts of a plan.” We have to be overprepared for any and every situation that may come our way.

As licensed clinical psychologist Lincoln Hill said in a story I wrote for Fortune:

“Black women are often taught through experience and observations that it's not enough to be ‘good.’ We often have to be excellent to even step foot in the room. And even then, Black women may still be treated as inadequate by their peers. I imagine the concept of ‘working twice as hard to get half as much’ developed as a survival strategy and an acknowledgement that excellence won't fully protect us or get us what we've earned. It's dehumanizing, but it's the reality for most of us.”

I just KNOW there were times Kamala wanted to cuss that man out (I mean, her face said it all and every Black women I know could relate), especially when he tried (and failed) to have his own “I’m speaking” moment.

Black women have always had to navigate spaces where we’re underestimated, undervalued, and overworked. But watching Kamala Harris hold her own on that stage reminded me of our collective resilience and brilliance. We don’t just survive, we thrive. We keep showing up, speaking out, and reclaiming our time—no matter how many mediocre men stand in our way.

P.s. Please for the love of God make sure you’re registered to vote and make a plan to vote. Visit vote.org to learn more. This is NOT a drill!

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• Sept. 12: Moving Beyond Burnout: How You Can Overcome Perfectionism to Beat Burnout. Join me and Camesha Jones-Brandon, founder of Sista Afya, as we discuss all things perfectionism, burnout, and how to release rigidity to experience ease. Tune in here.

• Sept. 14: Yoga for Fertility Community Class at Pulling Down the Moon. Practice a sequence of poses that are supportive of your fertility journey and safe during any part of the fertility cycle, including during IUI/IVF cycles. All levels are welcome. Wear comfortable clothing, bring your mat, and come ready to breathe, stretch and relax!

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Links I Love

• The Business of Being Beyoncé Knowles-Carter (GQ)

• The Black Voters vs. Palestine Debate is a Trap. Don’t Fall For It (Reckon News)

• Megan Thee Stallion on Kamala Harris, Going Indie & Why Female Rappers Are ‘Harder Than the Boys’ (Billboard)

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