friendly reminder that your gifts will make room for you...
But will you make room for them? 💁🏾♀️
*Thursday* Wisdom
“You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.” ~ Toni Morrison
Morning Musings
This newsletter is coming to you a day late and a dollar short…but for good reason! No, I didn’t meet Beyoncé or Michelle Obama (yet!). But I was busy covering the inaugural HBCU Convening for an education nonprofit…in New Orleans…at the Ritz-Carlton (eek!).
As we speak, I am 30,000 miles in the air en route back to Chicago using the $8 WiFi that I get to write off as a business expense like a BOSS (shoutout to my accountant, Martrice! 💜). Sure, it’s only a two-hour flight, but on the way to NOLA I finished a project that was taking me foreverrr.
To put myself in both the holiday spirit and in the festive mindset for the Big Easy, I listened to John Legend’s Christmas album and by the time we landed, there was a big smile on my face.
I’ve only been to New Orleans three times prior: the first time with Jeff in 2014 for our mini-moon and the subsequent two times with Jeff and my good college friends Devin and Stephanie. Jeff and I had tickets to Essence Fest in 2020, which would’ve been my first time attending, but alas, COVID had other plans. To put it simply, New Orleans is one of my favorite cities and coming back felt like coming home.
The food here? Phenomenal. The people? Some of the kindest humans you will EVER meet. I love it here!
As I was checking in to my room (did I mention it was at the Ritz-Carlton?), I had a “you’re living inside of an answered prayer.” Here I am, in one of my favorite cities, on all-expenses paid business trip. My gifts and my talent (and God!) got me here. Wow!
To paraphrase Langston Hughes, freelancing for me ain't been no crystal stair. Now, to be fair, I’ve done exceedingly well for my first full year as a full-time freelancer. As my therapist often reminds me, most businesses don’t turn a profit in their first year. And I’ve already surpassed my initial revenue goal for the year by *checks notes* $18K. What?!
Without a solid business plan (sorry,
🫣). Without a marketing budget. Without any real idea about what the hell I was doing. And if that’s what I could do winging it, I can’t help but wonder what will happen when I really put the pedal to the medal in 2025.Now let me be clear (Obama voice)…that’s not to say this year has been without its doubts. There have been PLENTY. And to keep it all the way 100 with you, I’ve been applying to full-time salaried roles off and on throughout the year. In those moments where I doubt myself and my talents and wonder if they’re truly enough. Am I enough? Can I really do this? Can I actually make a living and support my family as a *gasp* writer?!
I’m just a Black girl from a small town with big dreams. Who am I to believe that I could pull this off? And then (after a mild panic attack and anxiety spiral) I counter that thinking with, who are you NOT to believe it? Because if I don’t, why should anyone else?
So as I put that opened the door to my room (at the Ritz-Carlton…okay, sorry, last time I swear!), I couldn’t help but grin to myself. It was kind of a “Mama, I made it!” moment. My gifts and my talents made a way. Years ago an Instagram friend posted, “Your gifts will make room for you,” and it’s stuck with me ever since. I have my moments of doubt because, duh, I’m human. But in that moment I felt like God was trying to show me a glimpse of what’s possible if you believe, if you trust. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Interestingly enough, none of the jobs I’ve panicked applied to worked out and high-key, I was kind of offended that I didn’t get a second interview for a job that—on paper—made sense. But in my heart? I knew. My therapist knew. Everybody knew…it wasn’t The One.
I’ve been feeling some déjà vu because when I knew it was time to leave Fortune (and I was contemplating returning to freelancing), I kept applying and interviewing for jobs that never quite worked out. As I’ve said before, I firmly believe that rejection is protection…and redirection.
When I got that rejection letter for that last job, my Hail Mary, I knew it was time. Time to step out on faith. Time to take the leap back into full-time freelancing. Time to truly trust my gifts and learn what I’m capable of.
It’s been a little rocky and with the latest increase in property tax, daycare tuition and hell, even the cost of eggs, I’ll admit the 9-5 biweekly deposit life with a 401k is looking more and more tempting every day.
And as my longtime Twitter friend, whom I finally had the great pleasure of meeting in person for the first in her hometown of New Orleans (hi, Angelique! 🙋🏾♀️), told me: “That’s because they’re not for you.” Put another way (as my mom always tells me), what’s meant for you, won’t miss you.
So while a six-figure salary and PTO would be awfully nice, I’m proud of the little business I’ve built (which will soon become a multimedia empire, muahaha!). And I believe that my gifts and talents are enough. And I am enough. And so are you.
Your gifts will make room for you. But will you make room for them?
ICYMI
Recently,
of asked me about some of my free or low-cost holiday traditions. Naturally, I had to mention the Holiday Stroll on Central Street here in Evanston. Last year we went for the tree lighting and V was a *little* skeptical of White Santa (in her defense, the only Santa she’s ever known to the point was my dad dressing up as the Big Red Guy, so who could blame her? 💁🏾♀️).This year, she was all smiles and giggles and even told Santa she wanted a sandwich for Christmas. Yes, you read that correctly. She also enjoyed storytime with her besties and then all of our families rode the trolley (for free!). And we closed out the evening with coffee and ice cream (plus carolers!) at local businesses.
Learn about other writers and their favorite low- and no-cost ways to celebrate the holidays.
Also, if you missed the exclusive excerpt from Stop Waiting for Perfect in
last week, you can check it out here 👇🏾
And last, but certainly not least, in this week’s Substack roundup is my interview in
‘s . In it I talk about what it really looks like to be both a creative and a caregiver. Spoiler: there is a WHOLE lotta chaos!
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Love this: "As I’ve said before, I firmly believe that rejection is protection…and redirection.
When I got that rejection letter for that last job, my Hail Mary, I knew it was time. Time to step out on faith. Time to take the leap back into full-time freelancing. Time to truly trust my gifts and learn what I’m capable of."
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. Your hard work and talent made this possible. ❤️