catch us outside (literally)
a quaint reminder of how much can change in four years
Wednesday Wisdom
“May whatever has been blocking your way be moved.” ~ Lalah Delia
Morning Musings
You ever have one of those moments where you realize you’re living out one of your prayers? That happened to me on Sunday.
Since marrying Jeff, apple picking has become a longstanding Payton Family Tradition (one that actually started with my own parents who would take me and my younger sister to an apple orchard every fall and a Christmas tree farm every winter…core memories)! So it’s only natural that we’ve looped Violet into the fall fun as well.
But four years ago, our annual pilgrimage to County Line Orchard in Hobart, Indiana was not so joyous. A few days prior, our second frozen embryo transfer had been canceled due to “too much liquid” in my uterine lining. I didn’t know such a thing was possible, but there we were. We’d already taken the day off in anticipation of the procedure, so we decided to drive out to Hobart for a respite from an IVF journey that was proving to be quite arduous.
When we were able to take Violet two years later in 2022, it felt like nothing short of a miracle (for many reasons, but also due to the fact that a year prior I was DEEP in the trenches of postpartum depression AND we were living in Ohio, IYKYK). To say I felt blessed would be an understatement.
Each year, it’s been a privilege to watch Violet grow up and become even more curious about the world around her. The first year we went to the apple orchard, she was just kind of along for the ride. The second year she was more aware and very into eating the apples right after picking them (much like the strawberry picking we’d done that summer). This year she was REALLY into it!
First things first, she wanted a donut and who could blame her? She also really wanted to see the chickens at the kiddie farm, which I guess she remembered from last year? And she was very proud about picking her own pumpkin.
We were sitting at Starbucks getting ready for our trip back to Chicago when I mentioned to Jeff, “Four years ago she didn’t exist.” And now here she is literally running circles around us.
Toddler parenting can be a lot (again, IYKYK…just take a look at last week’s newsletter) and yet…what a gift it is to watch her grow. What a gift it is for me to grow alongside her. And what a gift it is for Jeff and I to grow closer together.
I share all of this to say, yes, parenting is hard. Relationships are hard. Personal growth is hard. And…there are glimmers of hope, love and joy if you know where to look. If you take time to look. If you sit still and get quiet enough to look, to feel and to show gratitude. It’s not all doom and gloom (though our news cycle certainly makes it feel that way).
It takes effort to find the rainbow after the storm…and it’s also okay if that rainbow takes a while to find you. But as Brad Paisley sings in “Behind the Clouds” from the Cars soundtrack (Violet’s current obsession and the theme of her third birthday party)…
Behind the clouds, the sun is shining
Believe me even though you can't quite make it out
You may not see the silver lining
But there's a big blue sky waiting right behind the clouds
A lot can happen in four years…one year…even four months. And just because things are hard now doesn’t mean they’ll always be that way. Give yourself grace, yes, and also time. 💜
ICYMI
I had the pleasure of interviewing author, activist and professor Moya Bailey about misogynoir, Kamala Harris and more in the latest episode of She The People. You can also read the full article here.
Send Me Your Qs!
Got a burning question about navigating your career, finding balance as a working mom, or breaking through writer’s block? Whether you’re seeking advice on advancing your professional goals, juggling the demands of parenting, or kickstarting your dream project, I’m here to help you get through the tough stuff with confidence and clarity.
All you have to do is submit your questions, and I’ll tackle them with the same candidness and compassion you’ve come to expect from me every week. No fluff, just real talk with practical tips to help you thrive. 🫶🏾
What I’m Reading
Ta-Nehisi Coates Returns to Chicago with Thoughts on Black Nationalism, Gaza and Global Oppression (The TRiiBE)
Let’s Make a Voting Plan (Fresh Starts Registry)
Halloween is the Great Equalizer (Romper)
Now Hiring
Community Care Program Manager for Sista Afya
Officer, Corporate and Foundation Relations for Chicago Foundation for Women
Public Education Communications Manager for If/When/How
Communications Director for Unite America
Chief Strategy Officer for OneGoal
Multi-Skilled Journalist - Race, Culture and Religion for WXIA
Strategic Director, Industry Partnerships for the American Cancer Society
🎉 Birthday Sale on SWFP Swag! 🎉
My birthday is in two weeks and I want to start the party early! Use the promo code BIRTHDAY to save 10% on your order! 🎉
🫶🏾 Paid Subscriber Shoutout 🫶🏾
A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly, Jessica, Ean, Lauren, Brittani, Jenni and Clement for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜
This was so sweet and brought me joy! Also the photos are adorable 🍎❤️
This was so encouraging and a real testament to your faith. I love to hear your family tradition blooming. That song 💕!!
Stay blessed