new season, new rituals
it's fall (and the end of DST), y'all!
#WednesdayWisdom
“In November we are letting things come to us. We are not forcing anything. We are existing with ease and good things are flowing to us.” ~ Arielle Estoria
Morning Musings
A fun fact about me: I love fall. It’s my favorite season full of my favorite holidays. In chronological order, there’s Violet’s birthday, my birthday, Halloween, our wedding anniversary and Thanksgiving (though this is more of a celebration of food, family and football, not the colonization of Indigenous Peoples. Moving on…).
I love apple picking. I love crunchy leaves and chunky sweaters. I love boots. I love pumpkin spice lattes. I love fall-scented candles. I love trick-or-treating, macaroni and cheese and sweet potatoes (both candied and in pie form).
But you know what I don’t love? The fact that it gets dark at 4 p.m.
The early sunsets caught me off guard my first Chicago fall 10 years ago. I mean, at least on the East Coast, we’d make it to around 5 before the sun decided to peace out. Not in Chicago. That sun gets up out of here quick, fast and in a hurry.
It is hella depressing. I’ve never been officially diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), but back when I was battling postpartum depression two years ago the end of Daylight Savings Time essentially kicked me while I was down.
Not only was it dark and gloomy, but it was cold and I couldn’t go anywhere for a walk with this fresh baby. At one point I think it had been about three weeks of not seeing the sun, which wasn’t good for my mental or physical health.
So this year, I’ve decided to do things a bit differently. Because I’m a sucker for Instagram ads, I decided to give Black Girl Vitamins’ D3 supplements a try. Next up will be a SAD lamp for when I’m really feeling the funk.
I’m also using the new season to embrace some new rituals, which includes the following:
a new wash day routine (which, surprisingly, is every 3-4 days, thanks to a consult and hair cut with Ashley at Evan Joseph Salon in Columbus)
working out with Ashantis Jones, a weight-inclusive personal trainer here in Chicago
getting my nails done every five weeks while I attempt to grow out the damage from hand, foot & mouth this summer (it’s the gift that keeps on giving!) and applying cuticle oil twice a day
Earlier this week, I even woke up before the rest of the family to read my devotional, do some journaling and listen to a guided meditation, so I suppose falling back isn’t all that bad, though it takes some getting used to. And with all things, I have to remind myself this is a season and it, too, shall pass.
What are some grounding rituals you’re creating or restarting for yourself this fall and winter? Let me know in the comments!
ICYMI
This month I made my debut in Business Traveler magazine. It’s funny because right before I got this assignment, I was talking about how I want to write more profiles and lo and behold: I got to talk to Sheila Johnson, author, hotelier, cofounder of BET and first Black woman billionaire (!!). You can also find it on newsstands!
TONIGHT: The Practice Session
I’m so excited to be joining my writer friend GG Renee Hill for a guided journaling session tonight. In this 90-minute workshop, we’ll write letters to our inner critics and learn self-compassion exercises to use when negative self-talk inevitably tries to get in the way.
LinkedIn Live with The Mom Project
I’m joining The Mom Project on Nov. 9 for a candid conversation about my book, navigating obstacles in our career and personal life, as well as motherhood, career ambitions, and everything in-between.
Want to grab a copy of the book ahead of our event? Use code themomproject for 30% off here.
Links I Love
How to Self-Soothe When Everything is a Lot (Wondermind) Listen, there is a lot going on in the world right now. Like, a lot a lot. And, if you’re a human in 2023 (which, if you’re reading this, chances you are), there’s probably a lot going on in your personal life as well. Take care of yourself, friends.
The Friendship Dip ( ) If you’re thinking friendships were so much easier when we were younger, you’re not wrong. This issue of Culture Study by
looks into why that is.These Moms’ Lives Are a Hot Mess, and They’re Ready to Show It (The Wall Street Journal) But are Black moms allowed to be a hot mess? I’m asking for a me.
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Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina and Abigail for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support!
Congratulations on the Business Traveler piece — it turned out sooo well! She is AMAZING!
I also suffer with SAD and was planning to get the SAD or a "HappyLamp" this winter to help out. One of the grounding rituals I have been doing is morning meditation breathwork - just 10 mins. I also light my pumpkin candles and turn on my fireplace to set the mood :D