permission to pause, pivot and postpone
because being your own boss means you get to make the rules
Wednesday Wisdom
“Hey, sis—Your quiet season prepared you for the clarity you’re stepping into. Lean in.” ~ Alex Elle
Morning Musings
First and foremost, the outpouring of support and camaraderie (commiseration?) from last week’s post really warmed my heart and reminded me why I do what I do. I love y’all deep 🫶🏾
Secondly, mama is TIH-ED! Yes, so tired that it needs to be two syllables.
A moment of transparency, if you’ll allow me: I’ve been interviewing for a full-time editorial role that I really hope and pray I get. Like, I haven’t been *this* excited about a journalism job in a looong time. And yes, I know what I said previously about burnout, but this time feels different.
A bit of background: I greatly admire fellow journo, author and mom Helena Andrews-Dyer. Back in 2022, I interviewed her for Publishers Weekly about her then-new memoir, The Mamas. I was in the midst of writing my first book, Stop Waiting for Perfect, and I was getting ready to take on a full-time role at Fortune as a health and wellness reporter. So I had to know: how did she do it? How did she manage working a 9-to-5, writing books and raising tiny humans?
Her answer: babysitters. And plenty of them. Even if she was home, she would hire a babysitter to watch her girls while she wrote. Noted.
I didn’t exactly heed her advice then, but now that I’m working on my infertility memoir, I need/want to be more diligent about my book writing process, especially as we’re looking to add a 9-to-5 back into the mix along with another tiny human.
It could all be so simple, I thought (and if you read/sang that in Lauryn Hill’s voice, then you’re my kind of people).
A few months ago, I referenced Toni Morrison’s dinner conversation about wanting to write books and raise babies and how that was it. That was the goal. I feel the same way. However, unlike Toni, my books aren’t enough to pay the bills (yet!), so I need to get a little more creative.
But the more I think about it, the more I recognize that I’m deeply craving simplicity and ease in this season of life. I’m thinking back to my three main goals I set at the beginning of the year:
Grow our family
Sell my infertility memoir
Pay down this credit card debt so we can eventually save for a down payment on a single-family home
And you know what #1 and #3 have in common? They require money. Lots of it.
I mentioned last week that freelancing has been slower than usual—even compared to this time last year. While I’m grateful for the opportunities that have come my way, the truth is they’re not enough.
Every IVF invoice is hovering around $1,000. And once we are successful, the infant room at our current daycare is roughly $3,000 per month. On top of our mortgage. On top of our existing daycare bill.
It feels like I’m treading water (or drowning most days, if I’m being honest) and I’m tired. So many other freelancers I know are tired, too. So does applying for more traditional full-time jobs make me a failure as an entrepreneur? Absolutely not. In this economy? Hell no! We’re all doing what we need to do in order to survive.
I was sharing my frustrations with a fellow mompreneur (hi, Kate! 🙋🏾♀️) about freelance life and how a FT job feels like a “get out of jail free” card. How I’ve been praying for a job offer to double as a permission slip to let go of some of the other roles and responsibilities that have been weighing me down. And Kate gently pushed back: “[redacted] does not need to grant you permission to do anything. I 1,000% get this sentiment, but if you want to scale back, you know what to do!!! ♥️”
It sounds silly, but it never dawned on me that I could give myself the permission slip. Then I received an email from another entrepreneur who was putting her podcast on hiatus while she onboarded a virtual assistant. Her communication was clear, concise and, most importantly, unapologetic. It felt like another nudge from the universe to give myself that permission slip to pause, pivot and postpone some projects I’ve been working on. Because while they’re great ideas (if I do say so myself), now may not be the best time…and that’s okay.
In my small group business coaching, we’ve been talking a lot about Making the Main Thing the Main Thing. I’ve always felt as though this was writing and it is—to an extent. I’m also working on birthing another human being and so right now, that needs to be The Main Thing. How do I support that main thing? Right now it looks like seeking out consistent, predictable income.
Seasons change and so do priorities. And if there’s anything #MomLife and #FreelanceLife have taught me, it’s that you need to go with the flow instead of constantly trying to swim upstream.
So whatever it is you’ve been waiting for a permission slip to do to invite more simplicity and ease in your life, I encourage you to do that. Regardless of what people may think. Regardless of how you felt four months ago. Give yourself permission to slow down and fall back without viewing it as a failure. Or, as my sister recently encouraged me, “Allow yourself to trust yourself.” ✨
Upcoming Events:
April 23: Rooted In Resilience | A Virtual Evening Of Gentle Yoga, Meditation, & Journaling In Support Of National Infertility Awareness Week. It’s been a minute, but I’m back at Pulling Down the Moon (virtually) next week for a special 90-minute virtual experience of soft movement, stillness, and reflection, lovingly designed for anyone navigating fertility challenges or supporting someone who is. Tickets are $14.
April 26: Harmony in Healing Fertility Wellness Retreat. I’m excited to join other Chicagoland healthcare providers and practitioners for a holistic fertility retreat next week. I’ll be leading a gentle yoga flow and there will also be acupuncture, a healing sound bath and more. Tickets are on sale this week for $299!
POSTPONED: Rooted in Rest – A Werking Moms Club Wellness Retreat. Part of what I was alluding to earlier in terms of pausing, postponing and pivoting…as much as I want to host this event, I need to prioritize my own mental health and well-being at this time. But don’t worry…I will be revisiting this idea when the time is right.
Links I Love
Why Job Hunting Is Terrible Right Now and What Can Be Done About It (The B-Side Blog)
A Case For Surrendering To The Love Of Your Friends (Byline)
20 Years On, The Emancipation of Mimi Remains Mariah Carey’s Magnum Opus (Harper’s Bazaar)
Now Hiring
Senior Communications Director for Vote Mama
Post-Doctoral Fellow, Trustworthy Infrastructures for Data & Society Research Institute
Integrated Marketing Manager for Essence
Social Media Coordinator, AfroTech for Blavity
Senior Vice President, Strategy & Analytics for the Baltimore Orioles
Business Lead for The Sandberg Goldberg Bernthal Family Foundation
🫶🏾 Paid Subscriber Shoutout 🫶🏾
A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly, Jessica, Ean, Lauren, Brittani, Jenni, Clement, Courtney, Gretchen, Elizabeth, Racquel, Genita, Olivia, Emily, Erin, Jeanice, Alex Jasmine, La’Chia, Laura, Kyndall, Nicole, Mary, Angela, Sharma, Carolyn, Liz and Eve for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜
Thank you for sharing this so honestly. Giving ourselves permission to slow down or shift direction without labeling it as failure is such a powerful act of self-trust. Seasons change, and sometimes what once carried us so well no longer does—and that’s not defeat, it’s evolution.
I’m cheering you on as you find your next right thing. You’re moving in stride, even if it feels uncertain.
As someone currently building three things at once (while still trying to discern what deserves 80% and what gets 10%), I deeply resonate with this. May we both continue giving ourselves grace as we navigate what’s now and what’s next.
Allow yourself to trust yourself! Amen! 💕💕💕