permission to take up physical space
because we're done with squeezing ourselves (and our belongings) into nooks & crannies
Wednesday Wisdom
“Stop stressing. You’re anointed for this.” ~ Gia Peppers
Morning Musings
Last week I attended my first press trip—a luxury sleep and wellness retreat at the Conrad Orlando in Florida. For the uninitiated, a press trip is a trip organized for journalists, influencers and content creators to gain firsthand experience of an event, destination or product in hopes of garnering (positive) media coverage and publicity.
Many newsrooms don’t allow full-time staffers to take part in press trips, but now that ya girl is all about that #FreelanceLife I said yes to this trip immediately. I mean, hello, they had me at sleep!
Along with the invitation came a briefing booklet that included the suggested dress code of “sophisticated resort casual.” Ever the rule follower, I polled my group chats, Pinterest and my fashionable husband for suggestions on what to wear, which took me on an impromptu shopping spree at Old Navy.
As I began packing later that day (with my packing cubes, like a responsible adult), I quickly realized that my go-to carryon wasn’t the bag for the job. Each day would require at minimum three outfit changes, not to mention swimsuits because look at this pool!
Now I am known to be a frugal traveler (okay, frugal person, if we’re being honest). I bought the cheapest ticket to Barcelona for a wellness retreat last October and for the business retreat I went on earlier this year in Oregon. Neither flight included a carryon, so I stuffed enough clothes for a long weekend inside one of those carry-all backpacks. It was a tight fit, but I made it work lest I pay to check a bag (I think not!).
But this time around I was flying Southwest (Business Select, mind you) and all expenses were paid, so I figured I might as well make good on the whole “bags fly free” deal while it’s still around. So instead of squeezing everything into my trust carryon, I proudly (and comfortably) took up space in my medium-sized suitcase.
As a Black woman in America, I’ve written about permission to take up space plenty of times. But it was usually in the vein of in the boardroom or in the classroom. This time, however, I was reflecting on what it meant to take up physical space. To physically not shrink myself (or my belongings).
I won’t sit here and pretend I know what it’s like to occupy a larger body; however, I will sit here and admit that at 212 pounds this is the heaviest I’ve ever been. I thought of
’s 2019 essay, “The Case for Checking a Bag,” with a newfound understanding. And Nathalie Walton’s interview with Financial Times about checking luggage (and paying overweight fees) in the name of fashion. I’m hardly a fashion influencer by any means and yet there were several moments on both the Barcelona and Oregon trips that I’d regretted not packing a bigger suitcase so that I could accommodate more options.Growing up, I always wanted to be a “cool girl” and never wanted to be considered “high maintenance” for fear of of judgment. I didn’t realize how much of that “what will other people think?” lingered into my adult years in even seemingly innocuous ways such as this. Who cares if I’m checking a bag for a four-day trip? Who cares if I brought along four pairs of shoes and three swimsuits? Who cares?!
There are surely more important things going on the world than to be worried about what someone else is packing in their luggage. And was it convenient to stroll through the airport with just my backpack and crossbody, especially now that I have TSA Pre-check? Hell yea!
For years I have lectured women about the advantages of taking up figurative space and now I want to scream from the rooftop the life-changing magic of taking up physical space as well. Men can manspread. We can womanspread (or whatever that looks like for you).
Pack the backup outfits. Check the bag. Flip the bird to anyone who considers you “high maintenance” for doing so. Take. Up. Space. Proudly. Boldly. Unapologetically.
Because it’s 2025 and we’re not shrinking for any damn body.
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Rooted in Rest: A Werking Moms Club Wellness Retreat
This Mother’s Day, give yourself (or a mama you love) the gift of actual rest.
Join Werking Moms Club for Rooted in Rest, a soulful morning of movement, mindfulness, and community care. We’ll dance it out with Ashantis Jones, melt into restorative yoga with Nia Ellis, breathe deeply with a guided meditation from me, and close with a grounding sound bath from Candyce Jones.
✨ Goodie bags + light refreshments included
✨ A portion of proceeds benefits Free Root Operation’s The Bloom Network, centering the wellbeing of Black women and moms in Chicago
Use promo code LOREAL10 to save $10 on your ticket! 💜
#AskLT: How do you deal with professional jealousy?
Last month’s advice column hit close to home. As a Scorpio, jealousy is pretty much my middle name. I’m curious, how do you deal with professional jealousy?
What I’m Reading, Watching & Listening To…
📖 Reel by Kennedy Ryan: I love Black women and I cannot lie. Especially romance novels written by Black women starring Black women. Kennedy Ryan does not disappoint. After finishing the first two books in her Skyland Series and eagerly anticipating the final book in the trilogy coming this spring, I started Reel, which was recently re-released and BABYYY, when I tell you I did not want it to end!
📺 Harlem: I know, I know, I’m tardy to the party, but better late than never. While nothing will ever fill the hole in my heart left by Insecure, Harlem does a decent job of providing me my necessary dose of #BlackGirlMagic. I’m torn between Tye and Angie as my favorite characters (although if we’re being honest, I’m definitely more of a Camille).
🎧 “Anxiety” by Doechii: Idk about you, but love it when my mental illness has a theme song.
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Excited to practice womanspreading this week!! Thank you queen!! 🥹❤️ I wanna see every fit on this trip!
There’s something so quietly radical about choosing not to shrink—physically, emotionally, spiritually. Taking up space doesn’t always mean speaking louder or standing taller. Sometimes it’s checking the bag, packing the extra swimsuit, and refusing to apologize for your presence or your needs. This was such a freeing read—thank you for the reminder.