pouring into yourself in real time

because you cannot pour from an empty cup

#WednesdayWisdom

“I’m allowing my intuition to move me in the direction that is in harmony with my higher self.” ~ deun ivory

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Morning Musings

Photo by Javier Carrasco on Unsplash

Before becoming a mom, I didn’t truly understand why flight attendants made such an effort to remind parents to apply their own oxygen mask before helping their children. Duh! Of course you would put yours on first, I thought to myself. But now that I’m a mom, I get it. The maternal instinct is to save your child and neglect your own survival.

And how many times do we do that even when we’re not on a plane? Even if you’re not a parent? How often do you put other people’s needs and wants above your own? How often are you the last person on your to-do list?

Coming off an exhilarating, yet exhausting trip to NYC last week, ya girl was TIREDT! And the weekend didn’t provide much respite. On Monday, I found myself trying to rally. I was about to lead the first session for my virtual #1000wordsofsummer group (it’s not too late to join us!) and I’ll be honest, I was feeling a little anxious.

So, to prepare myself to pour into others for an hour, I decided to pour into myself. I queued up a 15-minute morning yoga flow with my fave, Chelsea Jackson Roberts, and during the course of the class she asked, “what is your task today?”

Mine was to foster community and accountability for fellow writers—a task I do not take lightly. And how easy it would’ve been to breeze through my to-do list before hosting our cowriting session. But I knew I needed to tap into my inner Octavia (another favorite yoga teacher) and “start by stopping.”

At the top of our first #1000wordsofsummer session, I invited the participants to do the same and I led them in a brief mindfulness moment—to extend themselves gratitude for showing up for themselves and their writing; to invite creative energy into their lives and their work; to give themselves permission to show up as they are and create without judgment.

We always talk about how you can’t pour from an empty cup, but often neglect to talk about what that looks like in real time. I invite you to make a list of 15-20 people, activities and things that nourish your soul. And then break that list down into different chunks: what can you do if you have five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes or more.

Your list might look something like:

5 Minutes

• Watch a funny TikTok video

• Do a five-minute meditation

• Write down five things you’re grateful for

10 Minutes

• Make yourself a cup of tea (literally pour into your own cup! 😅)

• Take a walk around your block

• Do a 10-minute stretch sequence or yoga flow

20 Minutes or More

• Watch an episode of your favorite show

• Phone (or FaceTime) a friend

• Read a chapter of a book

You get the idea. Save your list somewhere for easy reference, whether that’s in your Notes app or a page in your planner. And when you feel yourself about to overexert yourself and sacrifice your cup for work, family, social obligations, think back to your list and take a few minutes to pour into yourself. You deserve it. 💜

What or who is on your list? Let me know in the comments!

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Upcoming Events

• June 6 (TOMORROW): Yoga for Fertility Series. Starting next month I’ll be teaching out of Pulling Down the Moon’s Highland Park location. Practice a sequence of poses that are supportive of your fertility journey and safe during any part of the fertility cycle, including during IVF cycles. All levels are welcome.

• June 12: I’ll be in conversation with NYT bestselling author Nicola Yoon at the Barnes & Noble in Oak Brook chatting about her new book, One of Our Kind.

• June 19: Juneteenth Yoga Flow. This special Juneteenth-inspired flow is designed to honor the rich history and resilience of the Black community, fostering a sense of unity, healing, and empowerment. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Free Root Operation, a non-profit organization dedicated to combating poverty-induced gun violence in Chicago. Suggested donation is $15, but any amount is appreciated. Let’s come together to honor this important day with intention and support a meaningful cause.

• June 20: I’ll be in conversation with author and friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson about her debut book, Fighting for Our Friendships. Join us at Call and Response in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood.

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What I’m Reading

• New Obesity Drugs Are Seemingly Everywhere—Black Folks Feel Left Out (Word in Black)

• Are Third Places the Cure for Loneliness? (Wondermind)

• Bad Boy for Life: Sean Combs’ History of Violence (Rolling Stone)

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6. Education Director for CoFED

7. Communications Director for United Scenic Artists, Local USA 829

8. Director of Marketing for Motherocity Health

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Thank You

A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly, Jessica and Ean for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜

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