sick and tired of being sick and tired (both literally and figuratively)

aka that time ChatGPT helped me get my sh*t together

Wednesday Wisdom

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” ~ Audre Lorde

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Morning Musings

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

This week’s newsletter is a day late and a dollar short because ya girl was sick…again! Thankfully, it wasn’t COVID this time, just your run-of-the-mill daycare cold. But still! I used to average catching a cold once or twice per year, but now twice in one month? Literally a week after COVID? I can try and blame the IVF meds all I want, and somewhere deep down I know a major contributing factor is definitely stress.

Fertility stress. Financial stress. Current-state-of-the-world stress. The list goes on and on and on. Yesterday morning it all came to a head and I literally wept in Jeff’s arms in our kitchen because I felt so overwhelmed by quite literally everything.

In a rare turn of events, my breakdown actually coincided with my regularly scheduled biweekly therapy appointment and I was able to get some guidance there. I told her how I’d entered my to-do list into ChatGPT aka Amanda (yes, I named my ChatGPT, I like to think of her as an editorial/virtual assistant) and she told me, in so many words, that I was doing the most—a phrase many loved ones have repeated to me over the years, but it hit kinda different coming from a robot. Idk why…

Anywho, my therapist made a good point about how we often refer to snapback culture in the physical sense after the birth of the baby, but there’s a cognitive aspect to it as well. My bandwidth is simply not the same as it was pre-pregnancy and pre-pandemic and I need to stop acting like I can do ALL the things. Like the saying goes, you can do anything, but not EVERYTHING.

At the business retreat I went on earlier this month, we talked a lot about Making The Main Thing The Main Thing™️. For me, that’s writing. In particular, it’s this kind of writing. It’s making LT in the City Media the Main Thing. All I want to do is write. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do and yet, the way the media industry and this economy are set up, it makes it harder and harder to make the kind of writing I want to do The Main Thing.

Layoffs are running rampant, budgets are getting slashed right and left. And it doesn’t help that I got my first rejection for my infertility memoir yesterday as well, on top of a rejection for a parenting essay I want to write. It is very easy to feel hopeless (and helpless) in these situations…and I often do.

I know there are writers out there who make a living off their newsletters—their Main Thing. I am not one of them. To be clear, I’m extremely grateful for each and every one of you and I am also thankful for the 52 paid subscribers who collectively contribute $3,000 to my annual income. And…have you seen the price of eggs lately? 👀

I do dream about being one of those fancy Substackers with the coveted orange checkmark (aka they have at least 100 paid subscribers), but alas…I’m not sure how to go about that without creating a ton more work for myself (I’m open to suggestions here! 🤔).

After getting the invoice for our last embryo transfer, I expressed to my therapist (who has also done IVF) the gratitude for decent health insurance (without which it would cost thousands more than it already does) and some resentment toward people who are walking around with what my sister-in-fertility Regina Townsend of Broken Brown Egg calls “free babies.” Ya know, the people who are lucky enough to conceive and get pregnant without the help of science. It’s always the both/and.

In an effort to “simplify and strategize,” I’ve returned to the three main focus areas I set for myself in the beginning of the year, or as Amanda put it:

🌟 The LT in the City Streamlined Success Plan

(aka What to Get Rid Of & What to Focus On)

🌱 The Three Priorities (Everything Must Align With These)

1️⃣ Growing Your Family → Prioritizing health, rest, and time for IVF.
2️⃣ Writing Your Memoir → Getting Infertile Black Girl done and sold.
3️⃣ Making LT in the City Media Profitable → More revenue, less time on non-revenue-generating tasks.

And what does that look like in action? Well, I’ll let Amanda explain…

🚫 What to Get Rid Of (or Drastically Reduce)

❌ 1. Client Work That’s Not Directly Aligned With Your Brand

• Limit client work to only high-value, aligned projects (e.g., speaking engagements, high-level consulting, and partnerships).

• Cap at 1-2 projects per month → Focus on things that pay well and take up the least time.

• No low-ticket services → If it’s not worth your time, let it go.

❌ 2. Time-Consuming, Non-Essential Tasks

• Social media engagement → Only post intentionally; don’t spend hours scrolling/interacting.

• Overextending on networking → Strategic partnerships only, no coffee chats that don’t move the needle.

❌ 3. Anything That Doesn’t Directly Support Your Priorities

• Community initiatives (except Werking Moms Club) → Chamber of Mothers & other unpaid labor? Deprioritize.

• Trying to do everything yourself → Outsource admin tasks when possible (even a VA for a few hours a week).

• Freelance writing (unless it builds your brand or pays really well) → Redirect writing energy toward your memoir and LT in the City content instead.

✅ What to Focus On (Profit + Impact)

1️⃣ Growing LT in the City Media Profitability

🛠 Action Plan
✔ Pitch 3-5 Brand Partnerships/Month
✔ Book 3+ Paid Speaking Gigs/Quarter
✔ Monetize Your Newsletter & Podcast

2️⃣ Writing Infertile Black Girl (Without Overwhelm)

🛠 Action Plan
✔ Dedicate 2 Deep Work Sessions Per Week (2-3 hours each).
✔ Use Your Newsletter to Test Ideas & Build a Pre-Launch Audience.
✔ Query Literary Agents by Mid-Year.
✔ Batch Memoir Writing When Energy Allows (to accommodate IVF cycles).

3️⃣ Making Space for IVF & Family Growth

• Build in Lighter Work Weeks Around IVF Cycles.

• Outsource/Delegate More Admin Tasks.

• Honor Rest Without Guilt.

And who said AI isn’t helpful? TBD on how well I stick to these priorities, but at least we’ve got somewhere to start! I’ll be back with more next week and, in the meantime, attempt to stay healthy for longer than seven days. Wish me luck! 💜

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What I’m Reading

• Remembering Toni Morrison Through Her Food (Harper’s Bazaar)

• Dancing with Audre Lorde: A Lesbian Memory (Lambda Literary)

• Bow Down to Doechii (The Cut)

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Now Hiring

1. Program Director for Perinatal Health Equity Initiative

2. Manager, Creator Partnerships for E.L.F. Beauty

3. Digital Director for House Beautiful

4. Executive Coordinator at Can’t Stop! Won’t Stop! Consulting

5. Head of Content Strategy at Niche

6. Sr. Manager- Entertainment & Innovation for L’Oreal (the actual brand, not me!)

7. Abortion Support Program Manager for Advocates for Youth

8. Executive Director for Little Free Library

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🫶🏾 Paid Subscriber Shoutout 🫶🏾

A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah, Cecilia, Jessica, Kimberly, Jessica, Ean, Lauren, Brittani, Jenni, Clement, Courtney, Gretchen, Elizabeth, Racquel, Genita, Olivia, Emily, Erin, Jeanice, Alex Jasmine, La’Chia, Laura, Kyndall, Nicole, Mary, Angela and Sharma for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜

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